Who will love my ironies?

Day three with no sleep (it's me, the person who started playing GardenScapes in 2021 for some reason) started at 5 in the morning with a text alerting me to an eighty-five cent mystery charge on my MasterCard, so I get to play THAT whole fun game of replacement cards and setting up all of my online payments all over again over eighty-five fucking cents, which just. Rules. Truly.

My eyes hurt. I just want to watch Disco and Rampage.

It is RAINING. It has been RAINING all day. There is RAIN falling from the sky. In November! And it's not even the freezing kind! What the actual hell is going on (climate change)!

Of course, I am still perpetually freezing inside for a full 25% of my life. Bringing my own space heater from home feels like admitting defeat, but fuck it, I may have to at some point, this is MISERABLE and I can't just sit on my hands all the time.

Rampage tonight. Eternals tomorrow. Sleep... eventually. Fuck it, I'm ordering an expensive lunch.

Sunrise colours today: mostly purple and yellow, which was interesting.

Too much food and too little sleep last night mean I am in a baaaaaaad way today, but thankfully it's been a quiet Saturday. Maybe I can try for a night nap when I get home tonight, try to split an actual full night's sleep across two phases.

Or maybe I will just order Japanese for lunch and then spite eat sushi 10 hours from now while I watch Dynamite, WHO CAN SAY???

Bullshit training to go to for the 800 new systems work has shifted over to in the last week while I was away. I'm exhausted already (though staying up until 2 in the morning to watch the What If...? finale last night probably doesn't help WORTH IT BIG PEG SUPREMACY). Gonna try to get to tags around it all regardless.

Maybe I'll order food to get me through this initial onslaught. I really shouldn't, especially since there's a big Dynamite tonight, so I'll want something tasty for that, but Later Leshia never seems to fare well in battles against Present Leshia (though I already feel like trash due to how much I ate over the last few days, so Past Leshia wins the war once again, anyway).

Also, my sinuses are driving me absolutely fucking crazy, maybe something spicy would help? Ugh.

They identified the Zodiac killer while I was sleeping through that last meeting, I guess??

Dear every person who comes in, points to a random set of keys on my desk, and says 'Those are mine': it's a generic GMC fob, you are one of thousands upon thousands of people in town with keys exactly like it, it's not yours, how do you function in life being too dumb to realize you are not actually the protagonist of reality, shut the hell up and let me do my job.

That is probably a touch excessive, but it's been building up for a while.

After working up to it for a few days, today I said 'good morning' unprompted to the friendly booker who I've steadily iced out because his demeanour often infuriates me because I'm so exhausted. He seemed surprised, yet pleased, and later in the day brought me some ice cream?

Found 1001albumsgenerator, and since I have not listened to much in the way of big canonical albums (we were much more of a 'best of' compilations family growing up and now monoculture is dead and we are all sorted into our wildly disparate niches), it seems like a fun project! I will definitely not be able to listen to one a day (while maintaining my rigorous schedule of injecting wrestling into my veins, anyway), so will be making JUDICIOUS use of the pause button, but yeah! Maybe I will listen to Bad straight through after I eat and watch a movie or something tonight!

I read an issue of Ice Cream Man a few days back that's really been sticking with me. A character is described as 'moping' his way through his days and, eventually, his life, and it occurred to me that that's... pretty much what I do? I'm better in my weeks off, but when I'm at work, I'm miserable and probably miserable to be around, and it's hard to care because it's just because I'm so fucking tired all the time, but at the same time, that's still not how I want to spend a full quarter of my life? Just... moping. I want to be better than that, nicer than that, happier than that, even if I'd rather be anywhere else. Because I'm not anywhere else, and that's not changing, so.

Not doing great so far today, tbh. But I want to at least try.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!! September means it's officially Halloween, that's the rules now! I am... tentatively getting used to the idea that I've seen the last of the warm weather for the next 8-9 months and the sunshine is rapidly following. Wheel of time just keeps spinning, and all that.

To celebrate the spooky season, I... got a filling today. My mouth still hurts. Next dental appointment is on hold until I hear back from my insurance provider, and then it's crown time. Expensive, expensive crown time. Spooooooooky. The assistant was very chatty while my mouth was all full of rigging, but she somehow understood my garbled recommendation of the Garfield Halloween special when she asked for new stuff for her and the kids.

Had a good day other than that? Actually got into my appointment an hour earlier than scheduled, so after much hassle navigating the transit system, I got home in time to have a fair few hours to just fuck around by myself and eat soup so as to avoid gnawing on my numb, numb tongue. Then went out with the fam to partake in some fast-speed food and a filmed moving picture! A good time, even if they can be... exhausting.

Three days to All Out!

Wow, so yesterday really just kinda melted past me, and I'm not sure why, but I'm not gonna complain; if the next six days also want to do that, I will be a very happy camper.

Except then it will be September. Fuck. I'm so not ready for it to be winter again. Already, the sun and moon are both visible in the sky on my walk to work, and I'm only just getting home in time for the sun to set. Soon it will just be darkness on both sides, sob. Will have to really lean into Halloween season this year to make up for it. The first weekend of the month featuring All Out, Shang-Chi, AND the Rick and Morty finale will also help ease the pain of transition somewhat.

My new hand sanitizer smells of cinnamon and has a light smack of sparkle to it and mmmm it truly is the little things in life.

Day off #1 is largely in the can, though I slept a LOT so I've got a fair bit of night ahead of me, which is nice. These are my hours. I love the way they stretch out ahead of me; I very rarely ever run out of them before my own batteries run down. Regular people hours feel much more finite.

Still didn't get as much done as I'd have liked; no matter how they feel, there are never enough hours in a given day to do everything I want. I really need to pick a lane one of these days between forever feeling like I'm playing catchup in every aspect of my life and actively choosing to take in less of the people and things I love, but I'm just not ready for that, I don't think.

Hit the yoga mat for the first this year, at least, which felt good. Currently catching up on all the wrestling I missed in the black hole that was the first few days of the week in between further attempts at physical activity (and comics, always comics). Ideally, I will get to tonight's Dynamite before I crash so that I can safely go back on Twitter before I forget and spoil myself!

Went to the movies. Saw my grandmother briefly while I brought her salads and laundry. I almost don't get constantly lost in the new facility anymore! Almost. Everything changes, except my total lack of a sense of direction.

Quick update while I watch Riverdale, how have I only been working two days?? Each one feels like an eternity??? Whatever, onwards, I have Rampage to look forward to tomorrow night, and I think I'm going to see Don't Breathe 2: Hopefully This Isn't Actually About a Sex Criminal Antihero after work on Saturday, Sundays are quiet, and then I'll be in the home stretch. I got this, I always do.

Love that super blatant Smart Food popcorn product placement while Betty's undercover as a trucker, truckers love popcorn right?

Apparently the dog has spent the last 24 hours vomiting everywhere after breaking into and devouring the entire contents of the garbage, so I'm... kinda glad I didn't get around to washing the floors like I meant to on my week off. Feels like it kinda woulda been a waste, since I guess I'll be doing it shortly anyway! My mom does her best, but her best is... not super clean.

Oh no, Dodger Dickinson stole Veronica's Ethiopian blue opal! This show is so much better now that they're not trying to pretend it's a bunch of high schoolers doing all this ridiculous shit.

Eating better, but the week is young. Should I make noodles? I think I'm gonna make noodles.

Wait, it wasn't just mushrooms Jughead took, but mAPLE MUSHROOMS???

Why is my brother sending me money. What does he want. At least as long as I'm the only person in this house with any credit, everyone will continue to rely on me for SOMETHING. This is a good thing, since I'm now the only one who doesn't drive and have places to beeeeee~

SHE KEEPS HIS SKELETON IN A VELVET-LINED BOX WHAT IS THIS CGI PARROT OH MY GOD aw fuck random musical number this show really is back huh