Who will love my ironies?

Well, we can add Valentine's Day to the list of holidays to end with everyone in my family going to bed mad and alone and upset over stupid things, so that's fun. It's so cold and I'm so tired and I never know what to do. Here's to tomorrow, I guess.

Finally finished watching the big Stardom show from the start of the month to celebrate the start of my week off. It's so nice to finally hear cheering in Japan. Giulia's new theme is gonna take some getting used to, though.

Mom's under the knife to (hopefully) get all the tumours out and I'm at work, again, some more, still with a lingering cough, still so nervous I could throw up. Also the thermostat batteries died in the middle of the night and I'll be carrying the chill I woke up with along with me all day. Really walking a knife's edge here today! Can't wait for the sun to come up in an hour or so. Hopefully things will look better then.

At least Kenny and the Bucks are trios champs again, so nature can truly begin healing from Hurricane Punk. Matt didn't even lose his shoe this time! I'm up to paying for, like, five different wrestling streaming services this year, it's really my biggest source of easy comfort food at this point.

Hmm. One of those days where the winter is really starting to wear on me. It's actually a beautiful winter day, cold but not crazy cold, fluffy white snow gently falling everywhere, it's all just so... WHITE outside. It's so much, all of the time, and I'm ready for it to be over but there are still months of this to go. Also my mom is getting surgery in two weeks. Also I think I might be getting sick again? idk, there's a little tickle in the throat, hopefully it's nothing.

Anyway, I didn't get to see Dynamite last night because my usual uploader was dragging his dang heels, so I haven't been on twitter all day, and this is my periodic reminder to myself that it's kinda nice, actually. Instead, I just ordered pizza and finished the first season of Russian Doll, and even though I'm three years late to that particular birthday party, it's one of my new favourite things.

TONIGHT. TONIGHT I WILL GET MY ELITE/DEATH TRIANGLE FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH. I'm not allowed to order pizza again, though.

Maybe a burrito?

LAST DAY OF WORK. I'm cold and tired and I couldn't be happier, because the day is almost over and then I will get my first PROPER week off where I have nothing to do or worry about in well over a month. I even had a day off from ORG stuff after my tribe killed last night's blind puzzle challenge and won immunity. HYPE!!

Mom's making stuffed chicken breasts for when I get home and then I'm gonna watch the last of the Dark tapings I was present for and then oooooooh I am gonna sleep the sleep of the just.

Just you wait!!

Wow, hey, hello DW, how's up? It's been... some time. Quite the time. October was... pretty crap, for a bunch of reasons that really aren't worth getting into (except the most recent one, my mom god laid off, which is... bad), but I'm sort of trying to treat November 1st as a new year, fresh start, get my shit back together sort of thing, yay! Like... it's been bad. Real bad. Like, the house is in such a state that my brother would probably get taken away by child services if they saw it bad, I'm working as much as possible to pull myself out of crippling debt brought on by my summer vacation (totally fucking worth it, though) bad, I'm on the brink of getting purged from a game with the most chill requirements ever bad, me and my mother are starting to make vaguely hopeful plans for after my grandfather dies bad, just. Oof. It's been a time.

And now my mother's been laid off. It's strictly a 'the economy sucks and we have no money to pay people' layoff, and she's been assured that she'll have her job back the instant they get a few new contracts (it's a construction company), but they also don't know if that will be in December, or January, or May, or whenever. So until then, I'm the breadwinner of the family! I don't make enough money for bread! Let alone a family of four! Hopefully we'll be able to scrape by on mom's EI until Christmas, and then... yeah, idk, we'll see I guess???? THIS IS FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE.

So yes! Fresh start! Clean slate! Maybe things still suck, but if I can't control anything else in my spiraling life, I can at least take control of myself. Gonna clean my room (it's not gross like the rest of the house, but it's getting pretty... hoard-y. I haven't opened mail since coming back from the States, y'all, it's all just sitting here on my bed), gonna start exercising again, gonna re-engage with RP (and writing in general, I've been getting urges to fic lately, which I think is a side effect of being so absent in Darrow), gonna start scheduling Friday night fuck-the-world bath time, gonna look into joining a community band again, gonna generally just stop slouching through my days and nights until they're a blur of lost time and enjoy being alive again, you know?

One small part of that is going to be updating this thing on the regular again. I know it probably seems like nothing, but even a one-sentence entry every day goes so far in breaking up my life into actual days and experiences instead of vague, formless, weeks-long mushes of nothing, kicking my ass into making the effort to do something, anything to make today just that little bit different from yesterday and tomorrow. You know? So here I am! Hopefully I will be here tomorrow! Does anyone want a dumb Mad Max poll or something?

God, this is the first time I update all year, I am the worst.

OKAY. So I saw Age of Ultron with my mom again today when the movie we were gonna see didn't pan out, and I wanna finally get all my feels out since THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM.

( You didn't see that coming? )

Because I wrote long, blathering entries about ASM2 and DofP, I guess I should also write one for the movie I actually loved without reservation, right? It's only fair.

( GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, HERE THERE BE SPOILERS )

I just. I just really, really, really love movies, you guys.



PS: People said really nice things about me in the meme and because I'm an awkward turtle who doesn't know how to react to genuine sentiment one-on-one, I will just put this here: I love you.

I'm sorry, I just need somewhere to laugh about this without spoiling people.

( SPOILERS FOR THE WALKING DEAD 4x08 )

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that some weird shit went down with my phone last night that kinda derailed any hope of productivity. I will summarize it here for posterity, because as much as the running joke that I live over a hellmouth is great and all, THIS WAS REALLY FUCKING WEIRD.

Plugged my phone into my computer to upload photos upon getting home, tired and disoriented from lots and lots of driving. Got to 12 out of 183 uploaded before everything went bloop and just disappeared off my screen. When I went to my pictures folder, there was a new folder with today's date, just like there should have been.

Except this is all that was in it.

THAT IS A FUCKING PICTURE OF A PENTAGRAM THAT (as near as I can tell, anyway) EXISTS NOWHERE ON MY PHONE. According to the properties, it was created March 2nd, 1970, and that's all I've got on it.

THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT? Tech-savvy people, is this just a thing that happens sometimes? I'm sure there's a normal explanation for this that amounts to 'machines be weird sometimes' but seriously, that is creepy as shit.

In the end, I had to use Dropbox to get my photos onto my computer, since I sure as shit didn't want to try THAT again, so to celebrate, have 37 pictures of beautiful Alberta forests and also dinosaurs.

( Welcome... to Jurassic Park (Canada). )

OH, AND THE WEDDING WAS AWESOME. Aside from the part where my heels were super damn high and I scraped the shit out of one knee on my way down the aisle. I was behind a tree, though, so only my opposite groomsman and the bride saw, BOOYA.