(no subject)

[merridia]

I read an issue of Ice Cream Man a few days back that's really been sticking with me. A character is described as 'moping' his way through his days and, eventually, his life, and it occurred to me that that's... pretty much what I do? I'm better in my weeks off, but when I'm at work, I'm miserable and probably miserable to be around, and it's hard to care because it's just because I'm so fucking tired all the time, but at the same time, that's still not how I want to spend a full quarter of my life? Just... moping. I want to be better than that, nicer than that, happier than that, even if I'd rather be anywhere else. Because I'm not anywhere else, and that's not changing, so.

Not doing great so far today, tbh. But I want to at least try.