Who will love my ironies?

Currently enjoying my day off and having a LOT of feelings about the N7 Day Andromeda trailer. Like, a whole lot. It'll probably be 2020 before I ever actually get around to playing the game, but that's not the point. IT'S JUST EMOOOOOTIONS TAKING ME OVERRRRRRRRRR~

You push open the back door of the cafe and realize that the place was looted some time ago. Broken crockery is scattered all over the floor, furniture is strewn everywhere and all the food cupboards are empty. A staircase leads up to the living-rooms, which have also been ransacked. Finding nothing of interest, you sit down to eat some of your own rations as the light rapidly fades. When it is completely dark, you lie down to sleep on the bed, with your revolver under the pillow.

Coin flip! SAVE YOUR CAR.

The bed is very comfortable and you do not wake up until well after sunrise. The good night's rest has left you feeling relaxed and refreshed. Add 3 STAMINA points. You run downstairs and out of the door, but are stopped in your tracks by the sight of a man dressed in white robes, emptying a petrol can all over the Interceptor. Chanting incoherent words, he steps back and produces a box of matches, striking one and holding it aloft.

Alright, boners, stay of execution. It's been a while since we played, this game has had a lot of interruptions, so y'all get a ONE-TIME-ONLY visit from the petrol fairy, with a magical gift of one (1) jerry can worth of guzzoline. DON'T BLOW IT.

You stop the car and get out to empty the fuel canister into the petrol tank. The canister does not hold much petrol and you realize that you will have to be on the look-out for more, if you hope to reach San Anglo. By the time you set off again it is early evening and you watch the setting sun through the right-hand window. Soon it will be dark and there is a new decision to make.

Work was more annoying than usual, but Work Crush stopped by for a little while, which was nice. He got poached by the service department a few weeks back and it just hasn't been the same without him around. I have no one to flirt with all day, it sucks! Unless you count Tower Guy, but I only ever have to call him on Mondays, have never seen his face, and am not actually sure what his name is. It's either Jason or Chad. I think tonight's gonna be a Mass Effect night.

Carrying the crowbar, you leap across the roofs of the cars to hurry back to the Interceptor. Luckily it is still where you left it and you are soon on the road again, heading south.

The country road runs straight ahead far into the distance and you are able to make good headway, as it is relatively free from abandoned cars. After an hour's driving at high speed you arrive at a T-junction.

Sleep as long as humanly possible, work, xbox until I pass out, repeat ad nauseum. Three weeks until I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

You travel west looking for a major road going south. But the decision is made for you when you arrive at a solid tail-back of cars just beyond a left turning. The impassible blockade of cars and trucks stretches into the distance as far as you can see, all of them long since abandoned.

You thought I was kidding when I said you'd have to wait until next week to find out if you make the jump, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Whatever, I finished Space Dirty Dozen, have yet to reclaim my life, keep having dreams about money problems, so that's rad as hell. Onward!

You reverse your car to give yourself a long enough run-up to the bridge. You tense slightly, and the adrenalin starts to flow through your veins. The engine roars as you pump the accelerator; then you suddenly release the clutch and screech away towards the bridge. You hit the bridge at 120 kilometres per hour and you watch the dial rise to 130 as the front wheels leave the ground.

Skill roll! YOUR FATE IS IN THE DICE.

The wheels slam down on the far side of the bridge and you have to struggle with the steering-wheel to keep the Interceptor going in a straight line. You are across the bridge but travelling at high speed towards an overturned truck.

Oh my god, IT'S ANOTHER SKILL ROLL.

You manage to control the speeding Interceptor and swerve round the overturned truck.

You drive off the bridge, heading west again. You soon come to a T-junction which offers you a choice of roads.

Why do I ever bother answering the door? It's always just someone wanting shit. Why will I never learn to just ignore it? Gotta be quick today, work soon!

Everything inside the garage is either broken or useless. The office and workshop are filled with rubbish and a thick layer of dust covers everything. The man and the girl must just use the place occasionally as a trap for unwary passers-by. The only item you find that might be of use is a heavy chain. You coil it up and pack it inside the Interceptor before driving off on to the highway.

Despite the hazard of having to avoid abandoned cars, the highway is wide enough for you to gather plenty of speed. It's exciting to drive so freely, without fear of being hauled in by the police for violating some traffic regulation or other. You smile as your speed reaches 190 kilometres per hour, but your joy is shortlived: you suddenly see a red Chevrolet, heavily reinforced with steel plating, coming straight towards you. Somebody is sitting in a small turret on the roof - a machine-gunner. You think to yourself that maybe having to deal with the police in the old days wasn't so bad compared with what is coming at you now. You breathe in deeply and get ready to press the machine-gun fire button.

RED CHEVVY (Firepower 8, Armour 15)

Vehicle Combat, goddamn this adventure is way more complex than the others. Whatever, you manage to destroy the "Chevvy" either way.

You stop your Interceptor to examine the burning wreck. Who were these people and why did they attack you without warning? You shake your head and hit the accelerator, eager to reach your destination. You are passing a security truck and thinking about all the money inside it which is now useless, when suddenly a voice comes through on your radio above the crackling static. It is one of New Hope's leaders. She tells you how a gang of bikers have just attacked New Hope, killing eight people in the process. After a short battle, they were eventually beaten off. She warns you to be on the lookout for them, as they have kidnapped Sinclair, the council leader. You acknowledge the message and say goodbye. After an hour or so of driving without any further incident, you notice that your petrol gauge is dropping; the Interceptor is very heavy on petrol. You stop and pour the contents of the fuel canister into the tank, realizing that you will have to find some more petrol soon. A few kilometres further and you know your luck has really run out. There must have been a car crash at the time of the disaster which caused a huge tail-back of now-abandoned cars. It is impossible to continue along the highway. You reverse back to the last exit and drive off the highway. You must decide which way to head along the road which crosses over it.

I could have sworn I updated this thing yesterday, but that appears to not be the case. LOOK, NO ONE SAID THERE WOULDN'T BE SOME GROWING PAINS, OKAY.

I slept for almost 14 hours last night, which at first seemed excessive, but then I remembered I hadn't slept for two days prior, so I guess it all works out. We're having our first big rainfall of the year right now, which is leaving me conflicted (I love rain, but our roof has a bad habit of... caving in), so fingers crossed. Thinking of finally buying myself a new TV, because I'm playing Mass Effect 2 for the first time and I cannot read ANYTHING. But ugh, money, why am poor.

You open the door and climb out of the Interceptor. As you walk up to the girl, a man with a shaved head jumps out from behind one of the pumps holding a crowbar and shouts, 'Surprise! Let's have your keys and Creds. No funny business unless you want to get hurt.'

THE POLL HAS SPOKEN, let's get post-apocalyptic. I stayed up until 5 in the morning playing Mass Effect, since after losing ten days of my life picking Dragon Age: Origins back up, I needed something to fill the void. So not much to really report in my first entry, whatever, life goes on, I have comics to read and I have work to go to.

VID NEWS BULLETIN
DATELINE 21 JULY 2022

( This is all just a really long-winded way of saying 'Mad Max happened.' )

The first thing to strike you as you cruise along the road is the speed with which everything had fallen into decay. You hadn't realized how much maintenance was needed to support civilization. All around, buildings are falling into ruin, abandoned cars litter the roads in rusted disarray, grass and weeds have grown rampant everywhere, with nobody to hold them back, and packs of dogs and other wild animals roam freely. You stop at a small town some fifteen kilometres from New Hope and switch off your engine. Suddenly it is deathly silent apart from the eerie howl of a dog somewhere down the street. You are tempted to get out of the car to explore, but realize that this is an unnecessary risk. You are about to start your engine again when suddenly the sound of a shotgun breaks the silence.