Spring Season: Week 10

Let me tell you guys something, there is a real specific kind of dystopian vibe to starting out every shift of your 80-hour work week by receiving your daily water ration.

Ha ha I'm so exhausted! I'm cold all of the time and my eyes hurt for no reason! Also I'm starting this entry in the morning and will probably just pick at it all day, so it will probably be more of a mess than usual! My emotions are on an absolute hair trigger (I cried SO much when I found out double rainbow guy died) and fluctuate wildly from one minute to the next! The tiniest of work stressors can set me off, seemingly at random! This is fine! Everything is fine! EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE.

I've been averaging about 2-3 hours of sleep a night, which is better than nothing, and Saturday was the exception, because I crashed HARD and got 10 solid hours. If that tipping point comes right smack in the middle of the work week, that seems like a good thing? I guess? Or at least like this MIGHT be sustainable long term, as long as I get that one catch-up night? At least the water rations are a nice reminder to hydrate; we get three bottles, so it's real easy to break my day into four-hour chunks with them (though I should really be bringing my own from home to supplement them). Lunches are proving... difficult. I only get half an hour so I can't go home for lunch anymore and have just been kinda sadly scrounging for sustenance where I can. Sometimes mom gives me pieces of her lunches on my way out the door, since I leave about fifteen minutes before she does. I may just have to bite the bullet and start ordering out every day. If I stick to the places with free delivery, it should actually wind up being cheaper than when I was at my 'ordering out every work night' peak; 20-25 dollars a day, seven out of fourteen days, for ALL of my food until evening? Could be worse, especially since it'll still be at LEAST a few more months before I'll have Movie Night Wednesdays to budget for again.

Irrationally stressed out by falling behind on all of my podcasts. There's so many of them! How will I ever catch up if I can't listen to at least a few of them at work (I'm customer-facing for the entire shift with no office hours until this is over)?? Though I HAVE been using my downtime to start digging into my gigantic pile of interesting articles that I saved to Evernote and never got around to reading in their entirety, so that's something I guess. Hell, I think I'll even make a note of them all in here just because, HAVE A NEW REGULAR SECTION, THE WORK READS:

• How Hard Will the Robots Make Us Work? (The Verge)


• The Future is Already Here, It's Just Not Evenly Distributed and Also It Sucks (OneZero)


• Poverty Isn't a Lack of Character. It's a Lack of Cash. (The Correspondent)


• A Week in Manila with Manny Pacquiao: Senator, Boxer... and Future President? (ESPN)


• This Brand is Late Capitalism (The Baffler)


• The Tyranny of Terrazzo: Will the Millennial Aesthetic Ever End? (The Cut)


• It Doesn't Matter If Anyone Exists or Not (The Atlantic)


• Ticked Off: What Happens When TikTok Fame Fades (Vox)


• The American Restaurant is on Life Support (The Counter)


• How Google Got Its Employees to Eat Their Vegetables (OneZero)

Every morning, I dutifully log into Dreamwidth and crack open my inbox, and every night, I close it back down again, having tagged absolutely nothing. I may just have to give up the ghost and accept that any sort of written creativity is going to be beyond me in my seven-ons and hope people will still be down to tag with me if I take every other week off entirely.

Didn't do anything for Mother's Day and feel kinda bad about that but I'm just. So tired. Hopefully she understands. Also her birthday is in ten days, right at the beginning of my NEXT seven-on, so, uh, fuck.

The last couple of mornings have been cold enough to make me take my winter jacket BACK out for the walk to work, which is v. disappointing. Also some of the touch sensors on the bottom edge of my phone seem to have died, which is EXTREMELY frustrating. ALSO I'm so goddamn staticky today for some reason, and every time I touch the debit machine it shorts out for a second which kinda makes me feel like a mutant which is kinda neat actually, never mind, I retract that last one from the Komplaint Korner. Moving on!

It's almost lunchtime. I think I'm going to try making a habit of ordering from Freshii; free delivery, and also it's good, healthyish food that I don't actually... like all that much? So I won't be tempted to overeat out of boredom/stress/sleepiness, which would only make these days that much worse, so. And who knows, maybe I'll come to enjoy it after a while, like that bullshit article about the Google employees (not that I think it's bullshit bullshit, but it definitely kinda struck me as having a big smack of the future not being evenly distributed about it)!

And now, to the (ever-so-slightly truncated) movie spoiler zone...

( Murder on the Orient Express (x2), The Forest for the Trees, Scarlet Street, Of Human Bondage, Hell's House, Mauvais Sang, Elles, Separate Tables, They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! )

Okay my food is here so I'm gonna hit post on this bish.

Just one more day of this. One more day of this and I can sleep.