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Vacation Dispatch #2
Vacation officially more than half over! What even! It's definitely a long enough trip that I'll be happy to be home on the other side, but it's still flying by, you know? I definitely need to not wait years and years before taking the next one if I can help it.
Either way, crisp cosmopolitan relaxing has given way to the cozy culture cram of Stratford and fall arrived right on time. It's so neat to be somewhere where that's actually a season for the changeover! It's actually quite nice! Light jackets and gentle drizzles and leaves changing colours other than a dull yellow! I can briefly be an autumn person before heading back home, where it went from summer to frosty and miserable pretty much the instant I left.
Back to the combination album review/travelogs, at least until they give way to all the plays I've been seeing~
Wikipedia Sez: Swordfishtrombones is the eighth studio album by singer and songwriter Tom Waits, released in 1983 on Island Records. It was the first album that Waits produced himself. Stylistically different from his previous albums, Swordfishtrombones moves away from conventional piano-based songwriting towards unusual instrumentation and a somewhat more abstract and experimental rock approach.
Prior Familiarity: Low! Waits is very much one I've always liked without ever digging deeper than that, much to my chagrin.
What I Did While Listening: Another day chilling on the balcony with my coffee and my wonderful downtown Toronto view before getting out and going to the movies. It was an extremely sweaty walk (which: what the fuck, IT'S SEPTEMBER), and an extremely harrowing movie (maybe Fall was not the best choice while staying on a 46th floor? nah), and overall a very nice bit of time to myself.
Verdict: It made me want to jump off the balcony, but like. In a good way!
Favourite Song: I'm gonna say In the Neighborhood, but this whole thing absolutely fucks.
Wikipedia Sez: Heaven or Las Vegas is the sixth studio album by Scottish alternative rock band Cocteau Twins, released on 17 September 1990 by 4AD. Despite 4AD president Ivo Watts-Russell proclaiming it one of the best-ever releases on his label, he released the group from their contract at the end of 1990 because his relationship with the band had soured. (harsh)
Prior Familiarity: Next to none.
What I Did While Listening: Made my second solo supper (far too much tortellini with bolognese sauce this time (I am a creature of simple desires, and those desires are almost all carbohydrate-related)). It was perfect. At one point I tripped over my Chromebook cord and absolutely ate shit, resulting in a big goose egg on my knee to go with the big bruise and scrape I got on my wrist from bashing it into a doorknob the day before because I am GRACEFUL, GDI.
Verdict: Good vibing/dancing music, but that's about all I could get out of it? A lot of it just kinda blurred together.
Favourite Song: Frou Frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires
Wikipedia Sez: Under Construction is the fourth studio album by American rapper Missy Elliott, released by The Goldmind Inc. and Elektra Records on November 12, 2002 in the United States. The album was primarily produced by Timbaland, with additional production from Craig Brockman, Nisan Stewart, Errol "Poppi" McCalla and Elliott herself.
Prior Familiarity: Middling. Fell right into the right time frame for me to be unable to be at least somewhat aware of it.
What I Did While Listening: One last quiet morning in Toronto. I'd had a bit of trouble sleeping the night before, probably because I knew I'd be traveling again in the morning (the head-sized portion of pasta probably didn't help much, either), so I was up before sunrise and I made myself sit and enjoy it before getting into cleanup/packing/heading on out mode. And then it was off to Stratford!
Verdict: Not exactly 'watching the sunrise' music, but certainly not bad, either. Not really my thing, but there were quite a few bars in there that made me laugh out loud, and that one 'all my friends are dead' track about Aaliyah and Left Eye hit hard.
Favourite Song: Gossip Folks
Every Little Nookie by Sunny Drake
Directed By: ted witzel
Synopsis: When a suburban boomer couple return home to find their queer millennial daughter, Annabel, hosting a swingers’ party to make cash, they’re forced to question the state of their marriage. Annabel, in turn, must ponder her own future when she adds a new relationship to her chosen family of polyamorous and platonic roommates. In this high-spirited sex romp, it’s not just the earth that moves, as shifting paradigms encourage new possibilities, both personal and political. This production takes place in Toronto, in the very near future.
Pros: The dorky sub single dad character was fine as hell.
Cons: Extremely cringe premise.
What I Was Up To: Settling in! I had moved into my home away from home, a cozy little B&B run by a very nice elderly couple with the most hilariously stereotypical old man names ever and was happily wandering the city until showtime. So many squirrels!!
Verdict: Eeeech. It's lively enough, and it's got some interesting things to say about found families and queerness through the generations, but it leans way too hard into the 'rich white straight boomer parents vs. poor queer POC millennial poly nonbinary SJW sex worker youths' cliches like SURE, JUST PILE IT ON. And then it kinda glosses over the more interesting points it raises so we keep seeing everyone as perfect queer archetypes instead of actual characters? Like, Grace was acting like a real hypocritical piece of her shit in her sudden jealousy over Matt YOU WANTED A BABY ALL ALONG BITCH, and Smash's sense of being continually othered in the relationship is never really dealt with either? Everyone involved treated them like a total afterthought, but the parent stuff takes up so much (deserved) oxygen that it just kinda gets shrugged away at the end. Still, I got to see Marion Adler's tits, good for her.
All's Well That Ends Well by William Shakespeare
Directed By: Scott Wentworth
Synopsis: Having worked a seemingly miraculous cure on the deathly ill King of France, Helen, the orphaned daughter of a celebrated physician, claims as her reward the hand of Bertram, the young lord she adores. She already has the blessing of his mother, the Countess of Rossillion, but Bertram himself resents being forced into an arranged marriage. It looks like Helen needs another miracle to win his heart – till Bertram’s own roving eye enables an audacious remedy. This production is set during the First World War.
Pros: HELEN HELEN HELEN HELEN HELEN
Cons: Setting feels kind of extraneous and really just amounts to a different flavour of costuming.
What I Was Up To: Continuing to find my way around the city after eight years away after a lovely homemade pizza supper. Supper is not included in the whole B&B deal! They just really insist on keeping me fed!
Verdict: I love this play, lol, it's ridiculous through a modern lens. Bertram is just this total irredeemable piece of shit, but the solution is basically 'Helen rapes him' so who's the bad guy here, really? NAH IT'S STILL BERTRAM, solely because Jessica Hill who plays Helen here was so goddamn amazing and heartbreaking that she had me on board with whatever she wanted from the word go, YOU'RE PERFECT, SWEETIE, INFORMED CONSENT IS FOR OTHER PEOPLE, NEVER CHANGE. Good shit. Was also stunned to find out Parolles was an understudy for my performance, dude stole the damn show and I'm still not entirely sure if losing his mustache was on purpose or not??
Archives & Warehouse Tour: So day 2 in Stratford started (after a very filling breakfast spread) with a sweet-ass archives tour MAN THIS SHIT WAS COOL. SO MANY COSTUMES AND COOL-ASS PROPS that I wasn't allowed to touch because of COVID but honestly, I wasn't expecting to be allowed to touch things in the first place so finding out that I would have been otherwise REALLY MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH EVERYTHING, DAMN IT. There's just a whole-ass aisle full of baby carriages and shit! This place was HUGE. So cool.
Chicago, Book by Fred Ebb and Bob Fosse, Music by John Kander, Lyrics by Fred Ebb, Based on the Play by Maurine Dallas Watkins, Script Adaptation by David Thompson
Directed and Choreographed By: Donna Feore
Synopsis: In the Roaring Twenties, aspiring chorus girl Roxie Hart and fading vaudeville star Velma Kelly each face trial for murder. Both as cynical as they are sexy, the two women compete for the services of shady lawyer Billy Flynn, who promises to make them media celebrities and win them acquittals. With its killer score and all-new knock-’em-dead dance numbers, this deliciously lurid tale of adultery, murder and justice as showbiz packs some serious heat.
Pros: COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND SPARKLES AND LOUD :DDDD
Cons: Casting a 50-year-old as Billy and a 70-year-old as Mama wasn't a terrible decision or anything by any stretch of the imagination because they were both pretty great, but also lacked a certain... physical energy in places. Also Amos' accent was a Choice.
What I Was Up To: Enjoying the beautiful fall weather, chasing squirrels mostly. I broughts my walkin' shoes.
Verdict: It would have been a goddamn joy just for the aforementioned COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND SPARKLES AND LOUD, like this shit was pure candy for both my eyes and ears, dazzling af, couldn't stop smiling, but also the leads fucking slayed, so it was like. Compelling and shit, too, you know? The woman playing Velma was a literal cartoon character come to life, so great.
Set Changeover: And then I stuck around to watch them tear down the Chicago set and put up the one for The Miser that night and HNNNNNNG SO SATISFYING. Just sitting in some far-off stands, watching people who are good at their jobs efficiently doing their jobs, pure competence porn, practically a show in its own right, no notes except that I got lost in the lobby briefly and missed a couple minutes of it.
Death and the King's Horseman by Wole Soyinka
Directed By: Tawiah M'Carthy
Synopsis: In British-occupied Nigeria, a Yoruba king, the Alafin, has died, and it is the duty of his horseman, Elesin, to accompany him into the afterlife. While lustily enjoying the pleasures of this world, Elesin proudly anticipates his transition to the next – but the sacred ritual is interrupted, resulting in unforeseen tragedy. Inspired by a real-life incident, this masterpiece from Nobel Prize winner Soyinka celebrates a community striving to uphold its culture in the face of colonial power.
Pros: Fuck man, I dunno, all of it? The music, let's go with the music, since I was sitting right next to the vom where the little Nigerian drumline (including one white dude, hilariously) kept hanging out when they weren't a focus and the way they just kept gently drumming and humming throughout was really soothing after a while.
Cons: I got nothing. Maybe how aware of how rich and white and old a hobby going to the theatre remains I became during it, to the point where for the rest of the festival I started playing a game where I would try to find as many non-white people in the audience as there were in the actual play and I lost every time.
What I Was Up To: Getting lost, mainly, though I think I stopped to watch a couple old episodes of the Dick Cavett Show on my phone at one point. Still, I made it where I needed to be and home in time afterward for homemade leek soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Verdict: Man, this fucked me up a little! It's stupid good! I'm still kinda unpacking a lot of it, I think? Are the colonizers the bad guys here? Or are people like the Pilkingses just well-meaning but disrespectful assholes who shouldn't be there, doing their best? Things like the Jesus comparison don't really hold up because that shit was 2000 years ago and yeah, it WAS barbaric and fucked up, it being important to people doesn't really change that and that shit SHOULD change no matter how beautiful and vibrant the culture surrounding it, but also it's not your fucking place to force that change on people who don't want it, but also the play implies the cosmology at play here's all real and yeah, maybe you SHOULD treat all other cultures like that's the case but that can only go so far when things like human rights are on the line for it but also, Elesin's got a bit of that tragic Shakespearian hero in him with that One Fatal Flaw because like... he totally didn't actually want to do it or he wouldn't have dragged his heels so much and gotten caught in the first place! So maybe whitey was right, in a way? Or maybe it doesn't matter, maybe sometimes shit just happens because people are messy all fucking over, I don't know. Gonna be thinking on this one for a while.
Little Women, Based on the Novels Little Women and Good Wives by Louisa May Alcott, Adapted for the Stage by Jordi Mand
Directed By: Esther Jun
Synopsis: Aspiring writer Jo March and her sisters, Meg, Beth, and Amy, do their best to make ends meet as they navigate the road to adulthood. Struggling to reconcile societal expectations with their own hopes and dreams, the girls are held together by bonds of loyalty and love. They may differ in their ideas of what it means to be a woman, but each of their journeys poses the same universal question: How do you find your own path? This production takes place in present day, with 1860's period costumes.
Pros: Strong cast, the only thing that ever saves this story IT'S ME, THE LITTLE WOMEN HATER HAS ARRIVED.
Cons: It's still Little Women. A very bleh Bhaer.
What I Was Up To: Looking up local weed stores. Counting squirrels.
Verdict: I... enjoyed this quite a bit, actually. It does this thing where the whole production is very abstracted out from the actual characters and setting in a way that makes it way less jarring than usual to see all of these Large Adult Women playing kids and makes it really easy to just accept it as a story being told to me. Also Amy usually annoys the hell out of me and she was somehow the best part of this, absolutely hilarious and weirdly relatable with her constant pisstakes of all the quaint preachy tripe surrounding her (until she grows up, at least). Somehow Meg/Mr. Brooks gets the most development of any of the romances? Good for them, it's sweet and charming as heck! And there's a parrot puppet and some very lame (but endearingly so) needle drops (although Beth playing a piano cover of No Surprises is DARK) and hot sub single dad from Every Little Nookie played Laurie, so, hey, that's cool.
Richard III by William Shakespeare
Directed By: Antoni Cimolino
Synopsis: As charismatic as he is cunning, as strangely seductive as he is utterly ruthless, Richard, Duke of Gloucester is the very embodiment of lethal ambition as he manoeuvres and murders his way to the throne of England, sardonically revelling in his own villainy every step of the way. But once he has reached the top, the only way left to go is down – and in Richard’s growing roster of vengeful enemies, none are more menacing than the ghosts of his past.
Pros: Seemingly conceived as just this mega-rad showcase of everything the new Tom Patterson theatre can do. Colm Feore is the whole reason I come all the way out here.
Cons: Fuck, this thing's long (but apparently productions usually cut stuff like Margaret's whole character, and she was one of the best parts, so wevs).
What I Was Up To: Trying not to feel guilty about my mom going to chemo and shaving her head while I'm not there for her. Milton was working as an usher for this show, so he gave me a ride back to the B&B after!
Verdict: Hmm, seems pretty ableist, tbh. Sorry Shakes, you're cancelled. GOOD SHIT OTHERWISE. Genderswapping Tyrell was a cool choice, and one that worked a lot better than the weird pivot to modern dress for the final scene? Not sure what that was about, though I guess it tied back to the parking lot opening (although if you're bringing the idea of the real-life Richard into things, it kinda makes you think about what a hack job the play probably was, which seems less than ideal), which was cool (straight up thought the first guy to walk up there was just a rando looking for a seat at first). Also the woman who played Helen in All's Well played Anne here and was therefore the main character of the entire thing for her two whole scenes, SHE'S SO GOOD.
The Miser by Molière, in a new version by Ranjit Bolt
Directed By: Antoni Cimolino
Synopsis: The paranoid old skinflint Harper has two grown children: Eleanor, who is in love with Victor, her father’s butler, and Charlie, who loves the hard-up Marianne. Both siblings know that if they persist with their romantic choices, they can kiss their inheritances goodbye. And their plights only get worse when the widowed Harper announces startling marital plans of his own. It’ll take a miracle – or two, or three – for the desires of youth to have their way.
Pros: More Colm; really zippy and embraces its own ridiculousness really excellently.
Cons: Some of the 'oh ho ho, current political and/or local pop culture reference!' moments made me want to turn a little bit inside out, but the old-ass crowd loved it, so.
What I Was Up To: Buying weed! Man, I wish we had places that did delivery or pickup back home, this shit is so convenient.
Verdict: A whole lot of fun. I must admit, the part where the two kids were really nakedly based on the brother and sister from Schitt's Creek was both extremely distracting and extremely entertaining.
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Directed By: Peter Pasyk
Synopsis: Prince Hamlet, son of Denmark’s late king, is horrified – and placed in a moral quandary – by the apparition of his father’s ghost. This spectre claims to have been murdered by the brother who now wears his crown – and who, having married the widowed queen, is now not only Hamlet’s uncle but also his stepfather. The ghost demands vengeance, but can it be trusted? And can the taking of a life ever be justified? Can this troubled family tolerate any further loss? This production takes place in present day, with modern dress.
Pros: A really cool, stripped-down modern set design; lots of black voids that only Hamlet himself seems capable of interacting with in any meaningful way, everyone else just... occupies them.
Cons: I got nothing. I kinda never wanted it to end? I guess sometimes Amaka Umeh's performance made me wonder if it was actually really good or actually just really loud and manic, but if I had to wonder, surely that meant she was doing something right? Like, that's the whole dilemma of the show! No one fucking knows if he's actually nuts or just messing around, even him sometimes!
What I Was Up To: Another quiet and cozy night in. The B&B is literally just steps away from the Festival Theatre and Manfred made potato salad, so weed run was the only time I had to leave this hundred foot radius all day.
Verdict: Seriously, loved it. I think this is the first time I've ever felt sympathy for Claudius? He was played by the same dude who played Pilkings in Death and the King's Horseman and he's just the platonic ideal of the nice guy with obvious sinister leanings sitting JUST under the surface, but also he's just kinda pathetic??? I was never filled with righteous fury at him for killing his brother and shtupping his wife, I was kinda just with him, wanting the whole matter to die down for everyone's sake!! Horatio still the ultimate bro. The addition of cell phones was surprisingly well-done.
Wikipedia Sez: Clube da Esquina is a 1972 double album by the Brazilian music artists collective Clube da Esquina, credited to Milton Nascimento and Lô Borges. Considered an important record in the history of Brazilian music, it features arrangements by Eumir Deodato and Wagner Tiso, and conductions by Paulo Moura. The album garnered attention for its engaged compositions and miscellany of sounds.
Prior Familiarity: None.
What I Did While Listening: Gathered up all my stuff, since there was a couple of old ladies coming to stay the next day and I offered to jump to the twin room for my last day so they wouldn't have to spend a day there and then switch all THEIR stuff over to the twin suite.
Verdict: I'mma be real, this was like, the third time I tried to get all the way through this thing. It's not bad or anything, just largely unengaging aside from a few interesting moments that made me perk up and wish there were more of them, idk. I'd play it at a party.
Favourite Song: Um Girassol Da Cor Do Seu Cabelo
Tom Patterson Theatre Tour: Got to see and hear about the new theatre! Shit is VERY slick!!! Got to go backstage, too, and wander around and see all the props and shit laid out for the next performance of Richard III (and also some bigger ones from Death and the King's Horseman that don't get put away) and it was so cooooooooool~
Richard III still by Billy Shakes
Directed By: Still Antonionioni
Synopsis: See above, it has not changed.
Pros: Main aisle seat so all the cool people passed right by me at some point.
Cons: One of the child actors briefly blanked on a line at one point, HEART-STOPPING MOMENT until he managed to get going again.
What I Was Up To: Got waaaaaaay too high and got scared by some geese, so came to see this long-ass thing again to recover. ALSO Milton was ushering again, so he gave me a ride after again and took me out through the stage door where a bunch of the actors were milling around and he stopped for a minute to tell his friend Jessica about the Emily Bronte movie he saw that'll be coming out next year since she played her onstage a few years back and I realized that his 'friend Jessica' that he'd mentioned a few times was in fact Jessica B. Hill, the woman who played Helena and Anne and who I was kinda in love with at that point, and I was still quite high so I did not risk saying anything, only waved but also I'm pretty sure my eyes actually turned into cartoon hearts for the duration.
Verdict: (♡ヮ♡)
Wikipedia Sez: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida is the second studio album by the American rock band Iron Butterfly, released in June 1968. It is most known for its title track, a 17-minute composition which occupies the whole of Side B.
Prior Familiarity: We've all seen that episode of the Simpsons.
What I Did While Listening: My nails! They were getting pretty dang raggedy after well over a week on the road.
Verdict: This thing is only 36 minutes long and it's legit mostly just filler for the 17-minute wank that is the title track. It's a very good 17-minute wank! But the... 19? Minutes before getting to it? Completely phoned in, lol, just release it as a single at that point, yeesh.
Favourite Song: In the Garden of Eden.
Okay, that got really long, but I said goodbye to the boys earlier and I've got a nice little house to myself for my last day here that is nicely equidistant between the Studio theatre and the train station so I shouldn't have any trouble finding my way out of here tomorrow morning. Two more shows and then I'm going to try Popeye's for the first time! NEW HORIZONS, BABY.
Either way, crisp cosmopolitan relaxing has given way to the cozy culture cram of Stratford and fall arrived right on time. It's so neat to be somewhere where that's actually a season for the changeover! It's actually quite nice! Light jackets and gentle drizzles and leaves changing colours other than a dull yellow! I can briefly be an autumn person before heading back home, where it went from summer to frosty and miserable pretty much the instant I left.
Back to the combination album review/travelogs, at least until they give way to all the plays I've been seeing~
Wikipedia Sez: Swordfishtrombones is the eighth studio album by singer and songwriter Tom Waits, released in 1983 on Island Records. It was the first album that Waits produced himself. Stylistically different from his previous albums, Swordfishtrombones moves away from conventional piano-based songwriting towards unusual instrumentation and a somewhat more abstract and experimental rock approach.
Prior Familiarity: Low! Waits is very much one I've always liked without ever digging deeper than that, much to my chagrin.
What I Did While Listening: Another day chilling on the balcony with my coffee and my wonderful downtown Toronto view before getting out and going to the movies. It was an extremely sweaty walk (which: what the fuck, IT'S SEPTEMBER), and an extremely harrowing movie (maybe Fall was not the best choice while staying on a 46th floor? nah), and overall a very nice bit of time to myself.
Verdict: It made me want to jump off the balcony, but like. In a good way!
Favourite Song: I'm gonna say In the Neighborhood, but this whole thing absolutely fucks.
Wikipedia Sez: Heaven or Las Vegas is the sixth studio album by Scottish alternative rock band Cocteau Twins, released on 17 September 1990 by 4AD. Despite 4AD president Ivo Watts-Russell proclaiming it one of the best-ever releases on his label, he released the group from their contract at the end of 1990 because his relationship with the band had soured. (harsh)
Prior Familiarity: Next to none.
What I Did While Listening: Made my second solo supper (far too much tortellini with bolognese sauce this time (I am a creature of simple desires, and those desires are almost all carbohydrate-related)). It was perfect. At one point I tripped over my Chromebook cord and absolutely ate shit, resulting in a big goose egg on my knee to go with the big bruise and scrape I got on my wrist from bashing it into a doorknob the day before because I am GRACEFUL, GDI.
Verdict: Good vibing/dancing music, but that's about all I could get out of it? A lot of it just kinda blurred together.
Favourite Song: Frou Frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires
Wikipedia Sez: Under Construction is the fourth studio album by American rapper Missy Elliott, released by The Goldmind Inc. and Elektra Records on November 12, 2002 in the United States. The album was primarily produced by Timbaland, with additional production from Craig Brockman, Nisan Stewart, Errol "Poppi" McCalla and Elliott herself.
Prior Familiarity: Middling. Fell right into the right time frame for me to be unable to be at least somewhat aware of it.
What I Did While Listening: One last quiet morning in Toronto. I'd had a bit of trouble sleeping the night before, probably because I knew I'd be traveling again in the morning (the head-sized portion of pasta probably didn't help much, either), so I was up before sunrise and I made myself sit and enjoy it before getting into cleanup/packing/heading on out mode. And then it was off to Stratford!
Verdict: Not exactly 'watching the sunrise' music, but certainly not bad, either. Not really my thing, but there were quite a few bars in there that made me laugh out loud, and that one 'all my friends are dead' track about Aaliyah and Left Eye hit hard.
Favourite Song: Gossip Folks
Directed By: ted witzel
Synopsis: When a suburban boomer couple return home to find their queer millennial daughter, Annabel, hosting a swingers’ party to make cash, they’re forced to question the state of their marriage. Annabel, in turn, must ponder her own future when she adds a new relationship to her chosen family of polyamorous and platonic roommates. In this high-spirited sex romp, it’s not just the earth that moves, as shifting paradigms encourage new possibilities, both personal and political. This production takes place in Toronto, in the very near future.
Pros: The dorky sub single dad character was fine as hell.
Cons: Extremely cringe premise.
What I Was Up To: Settling in! I had moved into my home away from home, a cozy little B&B run by a very nice elderly couple with the most hilariously stereotypical old man names ever and was happily wandering the city until showtime. So many squirrels!!
Verdict: Eeeech. It's lively enough, and it's got some interesting things to say about found families and queerness through the generations, but it leans way too hard into the 'rich white straight boomer parents vs. poor queer POC millennial poly nonbinary SJW sex worker youths' cliches like SURE, JUST PILE IT ON. And then it kinda glosses over the more interesting points it raises so we keep seeing everyone as perfect queer archetypes instead of actual characters? Like, Grace was acting like a real hypocritical piece of her shit in her sudden jealousy over Matt YOU WANTED A BABY ALL ALONG BITCH, and Smash's sense of being continually othered in the relationship is never really dealt with either? Everyone involved treated them like a total afterthought, but the parent stuff takes up so much (deserved) oxygen that it just kinda gets shrugged away at the end. Still, I got to see Marion Adler's tits, good for her.
Directed By: Scott Wentworth
Synopsis: Having worked a seemingly miraculous cure on the deathly ill King of France, Helen, the orphaned daughter of a celebrated physician, claims as her reward the hand of Bertram, the young lord she adores. She already has the blessing of his mother, the Countess of Rossillion, but Bertram himself resents being forced into an arranged marriage. It looks like Helen needs another miracle to win his heart – till Bertram’s own roving eye enables an audacious remedy. This production is set during the First World War.
Pros: HELEN HELEN HELEN HELEN HELEN
Cons: Setting feels kind of extraneous and really just amounts to a different flavour of costuming.
What I Was Up To: Continuing to find my way around the city after eight years away after a lovely homemade pizza supper. Supper is not included in the whole B&B deal! They just really insist on keeping me fed!
Verdict: I love this play, lol, it's ridiculous through a modern lens. Bertram is just this total irredeemable piece of shit, but the solution is basically 'Helen rapes him' so who's the bad guy here, really? NAH IT'S STILL BERTRAM, solely because Jessica Hill who plays Helen here was so goddamn amazing and heartbreaking that she had me on board with whatever she wanted from the word go, YOU'RE PERFECT, SWEETIE, INFORMED CONSENT IS FOR OTHER PEOPLE, NEVER CHANGE. Good shit. Was also stunned to find out Parolles was an understudy for my performance, dude stole the damn show and I'm still not entirely sure if losing his mustache was on purpose or not??
Archives & Warehouse Tour: So day 2 in Stratford started (after a very filling breakfast spread) with a sweet-ass archives tour MAN THIS SHIT WAS COOL. SO MANY COSTUMES AND COOL-ASS PROPS that I wasn't allowed to touch because of COVID but honestly, I wasn't expecting to be allowed to touch things in the first place so finding out that I would have been otherwise REALLY MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH EVERYTHING, DAMN IT. There's just a whole-ass aisle full of baby carriages and shit! This place was HUGE. So cool.
Directed and Choreographed By: Donna Feore
Synopsis: In the Roaring Twenties, aspiring chorus girl Roxie Hart and fading vaudeville star Velma Kelly each face trial for murder. Both as cynical as they are sexy, the two women compete for the services of shady lawyer Billy Flynn, who promises to make them media celebrities and win them acquittals. With its killer score and all-new knock-’em-dead dance numbers, this deliciously lurid tale of adultery, murder and justice as showbiz packs some serious heat.
Pros: COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND SPARKLES AND LOUD :DDDD
Cons: Casting a 50-year-old as Billy and a 70-year-old as Mama wasn't a terrible decision or anything by any stretch of the imagination because they were both pretty great, but also lacked a certain... physical energy in places. Also Amos' accent was a Choice.
What I Was Up To: Enjoying the beautiful fall weather, chasing squirrels mostly. I broughts my walkin' shoes.
Verdict: It would have been a goddamn joy just for the aforementioned COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND SPARKLES AND LOUD, like this shit was pure candy for both my eyes and ears, dazzling af, couldn't stop smiling, but also the leads fucking slayed, so it was like. Compelling and shit, too, you know? The woman playing Velma was a literal cartoon character come to life, so great.
Set Changeover: And then I stuck around to watch them tear down the Chicago set and put up the one for The Miser that night and HNNNNNNG SO SATISFYING. Just sitting in some far-off stands, watching people who are good at their jobs efficiently doing their jobs, pure competence porn, practically a show in its own right, no notes except that I got lost in the lobby briefly and missed a couple minutes of it.
Directed By: Tawiah M'Carthy
Synopsis: In British-occupied Nigeria, a Yoruba king, the Alafin, has died, and it is the duty of his horseman, Elesin, to accompany him into the afterlife. While lustily enjoying the pleasures of this world, Elesin proudly anticipates his transition to the next – but the sacred ritual is interrupted, resulting in unforeseen tragedy. Inspired by a real-life incident, this masterpiece from Nobel Prize winner Soyinka celebrates a community striving to uphold its culture in the face of colonial power.
Pros: Fuck man, I dunno, all of it? The music, let's go with the music, since I was sitting right next to the vom where the little Nigerian drumline (including one white dude, hilariously) kept hanging out when they weren't a focus and the way they just kept gently drumming and humming throughout was really soothing after a while.
Cons: I got nothing. Maybe how aware of how rich and white and old a hobby going to the theatre remains I became during it, to the point where for the rest of the festival I started playing a game where I would try to find as many non-white people in the audience as there were in the actual play and I lost every time.
What I Was Up To: Getting lost, mainly, though I think I stopped to watch a couple old episodes of the Dick Cavett Show on my phone at one point. Still, I made it where I needed to be and home in time afterward for homemade leek soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Verdict: Man, this fucked me up a little! It's stupid good! I'm still kinda unpacking a lot of it, I think? Are the colonizers the bad guys here? Or are people like the Pilkingses just well-meaning but disrespectful assholes who shouldn't be there, doing their best? Things like the Jesus comparison don't really hold up because that shit was 2000 years ago and yeah, it WAS barbaric and fucked up, it being important to people doesn't really change that and that shit SHOULD change no matter how beautiful and vibrant the culture surrounding it, but also it's not your fucking place to force that change on people who don't want it, but also the play implies the cosmology at play here's all real and yeah, maybe you SHOULD treat all other cultures like that's the case but that can only go so far when things like human rights are on the line for it but also, Elesin's got a bit of that tragic Shakespearian hero in him with that One Fatal Flaw because like... he totally didn't actually want to do it or he wouldn't have dragged his heels so much and gotten caught in the first place! So maybe whitey was right, in a way? Or maybe it doesn't matter, maybe sometimes shit just happens because people are messy all fucking over, I don't know. Gonna be thinking on this one for a while.
Directed By: Esther Jun
Synopsis: Aspiring writer Jo March and her sisters, Meg, Beth, and Amy, do their best to make ends meet as they navigate the road to adulthood. Struggling to reconcile societal expectations with their own hopes and dreams, the girls are held together by bonds of loyalty and love. They may differ in their ideas of what it means to be a woman, but each of their journeys poses the same universal question: How do you find your own path? This production takes place in present day, with 1860's period costumes.
Pros: Strong cast, the only thing that ever saves this story IT'S ME, THE LITTLE WOMEN HATER HAS ARRIVED.
Cons: It's still Little Women. A very bleh Bhaer.
What I Was Up To: Looking up local weed stores. Counting squirrels.
Verdict: I... enjoyed this quite a bit, actually. It does this thing where the whole production is very abstracted out from the actual characters and setting in a way that makes it way less jarring than usual to see all of these Large Adult Women playing kids and makes it really easy to just accept it as a story being told to me. Also Amy usually annoys the hell out of me and she was somehow the best part of this, absolutely hilarious and weirdly relatable with her constant pisstakes of all the quaint preachy tripe surrounding her (until she grows up, at least). Somehow Meg/Mr. Brooks gets the most development of any of the romances? Good for them, it's sweet and charming as heck! And there's a parrot puppet and some very lame (but endearingly so) needle drops (although Beth playing a piano cover of No Surprises is DARK) and hot sub single dad from Every Little Nookie played Laurie, so, hey, that's cool.
Directed By: Antoni Cimolino
Synopsis: As charismatic as he is cunning, as strangely seductive as he is utterly ruthless, Richard, Duke of Gloucester is the very embodiment of lethal ambition as he manoeuvres and murders his way to the throne of England, sardonically revelling in his own villainy every step of the way. But once he has reached the top, the only way left to go is down – and in Richard’s growing roster of vengeful enemies, none are more menacing than the ghosts of his past.
Pros: Seemingly conceived as just this mega-rad showcase of everything the new Tom Patterson theatre can do. Colm Feore is the whole reason I come all the way out here.
Cons: Fuck, this thing's long (but apparently productions usually cut stuff like Margaret's whole character, and she was one of the best parts, so wevs).
What I Was Up To: Trying not to feel guilty about my mom going to chemo and shaving her head while I'm not there for her. Milton was working as an usher for this show, so he gave me a ride back to the B&B after!
Verdict: Hmm, seems pretty ableist, tbh. Sorry Shakes, you're cancelled. GOOD SHIT OTHERWISE. Genderswapping Tyrell was a cool choice, and one that worked a lot better than the weird pivot to modern dress for the final scene? Not sure what that was about, though I guess it tied back to the parking lot opening (although if you're bringing the idea of the real-life Richard into things, it kinda makes you think about what a hack job the play probably was, which seems less than ideal), which was cool (straight up thought the first guy to walk up there was just a rando looking for a seat at first). Also the woman who played Helen in All's Well played Anne here and was therefore the main character of the entire thing for her two whole scenes, SHE'S SO GOOD.
Directed By: Antoni Cimolino
Synopsis: The paranoid old skinflint Harper has two grown children: Eleanor, who is in love with Victor, her father’s butler, and Charlie, who loves the hard-up Marianne. Both siblings know that if they persist with their romantic choices, they can kiss their inheritances goodbye. And their plights only get worse when the widowed Harper announces startling marital plans of his own. It’ll take a miracle – or two, or three – for the desires of youth to have their way.
Pros: More Colm; really zippy and embraces its own ridiculousness really excellently.
Cons: Some of the 'oh ho ho, current political and/or local pop culture reference!' moments made me want to turn a little bit inside out, but the old-ass crowd loved it, so.
What I Was Up To: Buying weed! Man, I wish we had places that did delivery or pickup back home, this shit is so convenient.
Verdict: A whole lot of fun. I must admit, the part where the two kids were really nakedly based on the brother and sister from Schitt's Creek was both extremely distracting and extremely entertaining.
Directed By: Peter Pasyk
Synopsis: Prince Hamlet, son of Denmark’s late king, is horrified – and placed in a moral quandary – by the apparition of his father’s ghost. This spectre claims to have been murdered by the brother who now wears his crown – and who, having married the widowed queen, is now not only Hamlet’s uncle but also his stepfather. The ghost demands vengeance, but can it be trusted? And can the taking of a life ever be justified? Can this troubled family tolerate any further loss? This production takes place in present day, with modern dress.
Pros: A really cool, stripped-down modern set design; lots of black voids that only Hamlet himself seems capable of interacting with in any meaningful way, everyone else just... occupies them.
Cons: I got nothing. I kinda never wanted it to end? I guess sometimes Amaka Umeh's performance made me wonder if it was actually really good or actually just really loud and manic, but if I had to wonder, surely that meant she was doing something right? Like, that's the whole dilemma of the show! No one fucking knows if he's actually nuts or just messing around, even him sometimes!
What I Was Up To: Another quiet and cozy night in. The B&B is literally just steps away from the Festival Theatre and Manfred made potato salad, so weed run was the only time I had to leave this hundred foot radius all day.
Verdict: Seriously, loved it. I think this is the first time I've ever felt sympathy for Claudius? He was played by the same dude who played Pilkings in Death and the King's Horseman and he's just the platonic ideal of the nice guy with obvious sinister leanings sitting JUST under the surface, but also he's just kinda pathetic??? I was never filled with righteous fury at him for killing his brother and shtupping his wife, I was kinda just with him, wanting the whole matter to die down for everyone's sake!! Horatio still the ultimate bro. The addition of cell phones was surprisingly well-done.
Wikipedia Sez: Clube da Esquina is a 1972 double album by the Brazilian music artists collective Clube da Esquina, credited to Milton Nascimento and Lô Borges. Considered an important record in the history of Brazilian music, it features arrangements by Eumir Deodato and Wagner Tiso, and conductions by Paulo Moura. The album garnered attention for its engaged compositions and miscellany of sounds.
Prior Familiarity: None.
What I Did While Listening: Gathered up all my stuff, since there was a couple of old ladies coming to stay the next day and I offered to jump to the twin room for my last day so they wouldn't have to spend a day there and then switch all THEIR stuff over to the twin suite.
Verdict: I'mma be real, this was like, the third time I tried to get all the way through this thing. It's not bad or anything, just largely unengaging aside from a few interesting moments that made me perk up and wish there were more of them, idk. I'd play it at a party.
Favourite Song: Um Girassol Da Cor Do Seu Cabelo
Tom Patterson Theatre Tour: Got to see and hear about the new theatre! Shit is VERY slick!!! Got to go backstage, too, and wander around and see all the props and shit laid out for the next performance of Richard III (and also some bigger ones from Death and the King's Horseman that don't get put away) and it was so cooooooooool~
Directed By: Still Antonionioni
Synopsis: See above, it has not changed.
Pros: Main aisle seat so all the cool people passed right by me at some point.
Cons: One of the child actors briefly blanked on a line at one point, HEART-STOPPING MOMENT until he managed to get going again.
What I Was Up To: Got waaaaaaay too high and got scared by some geese, so came to see this long-ass thing again to recover. ALSO Milton was ushering again, so he gave me a ride after again and took me out through the stage door where a bunch of the actors were milling around and he stopped for a minute to tell his friend Jessica about the Emily Bronte movie he saw that'll be coming out next year since she played her onstage a few years back and I realized that his 'friend Jessica' that he'd mentioned a few times was in fact Jessica B. Hill, the woman who played Helena and Anne and who I was kinda in love with at that point, and I was still quite high so I did not risk saying anything, only waved but also I'm pretty sure my eyes actually turned into cartoon hearts for the duration.
Verdict: (♡ヮ♡)
Wikipedia Sez: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida is the second studio album by the American rock band Iron Butterfly, released in June 1968. It is most known for its title track, a 17-minute composition which occupies the whole of Side B.
Prior Familiarity: We've all seen that episode of the Simpsons.
What I Did While Listening: My nails! They were getting pretty dang raggedy after well over a week on the road.
Verdict: This thing is only 36 minutes long and it's legit mostly just filler for the 17-minute wank that is the title track. It's a very good 17-minute wank! But the... 19? Minutes before getting to it? Completely phoned in, lol, just release it as a single at that point, yeesh.
Favourite Song: In the Garden of Eden.
Okay, that got really long, but I said goodbye to the boys earlier and I've got a nice little house to myself for my last day here that is nicely equidistant between the Studio theatre and the train station so I shouldn't have any trouble finding my way out of here tomorrow morning. Two more shows and then I'm going to try Popeye's for the first time! NEW HORIZONS, BABY.
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That production of Hamlet sounds so cool and interesting, damn. It's always kind of been my theater dream to direct a production of Hamlet that cuts Claudius's act 3 monologue so you never actually find out if he did in fact kill his brother or not, so both a kind of pathetic everyman Claudius and the emphasis on "no one fucking knows if [Hamlet is] actually nuts or just messing around" both sound super awesome to me.
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And yeah, I was real sceptical at the outset (ooh, they're security guards and everyone has cell phones, that won't be jarring at all), but it worked real well, having a black woman play Hamlet and it not be a big deal was a nice counterpoint to Hamlet-911 addressing that very sort of thing (which I guess would be why they were programmed together), and the whole scene where Claudius confesses basically just had me going 'aww, damn, dude, that sucks so bad for you!' so the effect of the rest of it where you don't even KNOW if he did it or not would be WILD