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Spring Season: Weeks 23/24
Another update, still not much to say. A VERY bad week, in terms of sleep and just generally feeling like garbage; I just realized I skipped my last period (because of the weight loss I guess?) and I'm paying for it this time around, ugh.
Self-care these days consists mainly of taking extremely hot baths and watching lots of wrestling on my weeks off, the latter of which I can't completely explain, but I'm leaning into it. I'm working my way through all of AEW from the beginning and it just makes me happy, possibly because it's entirely impossible to enjoy ironically? I just have to give myself over to it utterly, and it's a magical experience.
Is it lunch time yet? No? Okay, movies I guess. TWO MORE DAYS AND I'M FREE.
Minor themes this update include Mike Leigh films and horrible marriages!
The Tesla World Light (2017): Nice to know the NFB's still pumping out weird shit on the reg. Good for the soul, it is.
The Exorcist (1973): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #18! Got out right at midnight into still warm summer air and the first fully black sky of the season's end save the big, bright, near-full moon shining over everything. Pretty much a perfect night.
Dr. Mabuse, der Spieler (1922): GUESS WHO STARTED THE MONTH BY WATCHING A FOUR-AND-A-HALF-HOUR LONG GERMAN SILENT FILM AND HAS NO REGRETS?? This really felt like it was stretching the limits of the entire format of movies in general, it's kind of amazing. First, because it's FOUR-AND-A-HALF FUCKING HOURS LONG, secondly, because so much of the dialogue comes in these GIANT WALLS OF TEXT, characters are just constantly giving long speeches, which... SILENT MOVIE, GUYS. WAY TO NOT PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS? Plus, the walls of text are all in German, so I had to read subtitles running UNDERNEATH them, which just added a whole different layer of crazyboots to the proceedings. Still, it was actually really good, the ending is NUTS, and I've watched plenty of movies that FELT way longer, so FUCK IT. Four-and-a-half thumbs up.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966): The most harrowing hostage drama I've ever seen.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #19! Pretty stupid, but full of Goldblum being great, and the whole sequence with Julianne Moore stuck on the breaking glass is still phenomenal. A GOOD TIME.
A Separation (2011): This didn't leave a huge impression on me when I first saw it and I've spent years thinking it was pretty overrated (if still quite good), but man, it really does hit.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958): 100 tedious minutes of awful people being awful and dancing around plot points they may or may not be allowed to actually get to. The sheer calibre of the cast manages to make it work, but ugh, Tennessee Williams, man. Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman being inhumanly beautiful doesn't hurt in the slightest.
Vera Drake (2004): Imelda Staunton as just the nicest old abortionist. Too slow and gently-paced for my tastes, but sensitive and heartbreaking nonetheless.
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979): Sweet and sad and infuriating in many different ways, and so, so good.
Rabid (1977): I can't believe Cronenberg made a movie all about Quebec's COVID-19 response over forty years ago, what a visionary.
Death in Venice (1971): Oof. I guess it's nice that the gays get their own Lolita? But this movie is like 80% just Dirk Bogarde sitting in chairs, aching with ennui as he observes his surroundings, it's beautiful but so fucking boring oh my god. Realizing the twinky teen object of his affections was the old dude in Midsommar was amazing, though.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return on the King (2003): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #20! Not the extended edition, because the movie people are COWARDS, but still a very satisfying conclusion to this little odyssey.
The Last House on the Left (1972): "You mean like a duck or something?"
The Prowler (1981): I am o b s e s s e d with the crazy-long, completely pointless scene of the hotel clerk just playing solitaire while elaborately pretending to leave his desk to deliver a phone message, BIG WORK MOOD, MY MAN. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE SEEN.
Groundhog Day (1993): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #21! My kingdom for an adaptation of the musical.
Day of the Outlaw (1959): Western... noir? DON'T MIND IF I DO. Bleak and snowy and grey is such a criminally underrated western aesthetic, it's very... Albertan? And this has got plenty of deliciously overwrought dialogue to boot. Burl Ives is an absolute beast (see also: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof).
Born Free (1966): I was all set to spend the entire runtime rolling my eyes at the trite feel-good bullshit of it all, but goddamn those lion cubs were cute. My second favourite movie featuring Matt Munro singing the movie's John Barry theme over the closing credits, I guess.
Into the West (1992): Was... was I supposed to be rooting for those kids? You can't keep a horse in an apartment! Running away is not a good solution! Seeing Colm Meany wearing jeans is weird!
Back to the Future (1985): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #22! Now I want to reread B^F.
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008): I love that Mike Leigh took two of the SUPER low-key best parts of Vera Drake (Sally Hawkins and Eddie Marsan) and just... gave 'em a movie! Anyway, when the introduction to your protagonist is her pestering a service worker who very clearly just wants to get through his day with the smallest amount of human interaction possible, you are gonna have a long, uphill climb in getting me to like her. Shockingly... I got there. This was wonderful. Enraha. ENRAHA!
The One (2001): A few minutes into this movie, Carla Gugino, while dressed like Jessica Rabbit, opens a trapdoor in the heel of her shoe and a rat comes out. The rat has distractingly large testicles and is attached to an antenna. It runs away, and right before it explodes dramatically, the ooh-AH-AH-AH-AH drop from Down with the Sickness hits, and that was when I knew I was watching Art.
My Beautiful Laundrette (1985): I needed something to rewatch while I put away my laundry.
La Fille du RER (2009): One of the more infuriatingly stupid protagonists I've seen in a while. Well acted and realized, but so very, very, frustratingly dumb. Just. Why.
The Empire Strikes Back (1980): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #23! I missed it before but it came back!!!
Husbands (1970): Great actors doing some really compelling things in what is ultimately a pretty big bore. My deep fondness for Falk, Gazzara, and yes, even Cassavetes himself took me a long way, but that last hour was rooooough.
All or Nothing (2002): One of those movies that takes so long to get going that I kinda zone out and then spend the entire middle section going 'wait, who is this again?' Not bad otherwise. James Corden was basically my brother, which was a trip.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988): God damn you fucking imp!!!
River of Grass (1994), Meek's Cutoff (2010), Wendy and Lucy (2008): Kelly Reichardt's movies are just real rewatchable to me, idk.
Mean Machine (2001): A Longest Yard remake starring a Guy Richie rogue's gallery? Sure, why not!
Self-care these days consists mainly of taking extremely hot baths and watching lots of wrestling on my weeks off, the latter of which I can't completely explain, but I'm leaning into it. I'm working my way through all of AEW from the beginning and it just makes me happy, possibly because it's entirely impossible to enjoy ironically? I just have to give myself over to it utterly, and it's a magical experience.
Is it lunch time yet? No? Okay, movies I guess. TWO MORE DAYS AND I'M FREE.
Minor themes this update include Mike Leigh films and horrible marriages!
The Tesla World Light (2017): Nice to know the NFB's still pumping out weird shit on the reg. Good for the soul, it is.
The Exorcist (1973): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #18! Got out right at midnight into still warm summer air and the first fully black sky of the season's end save the big, bright, near-full moon shining over everything. Pretty much a perfect night.
Dr. Mabuse, der Spieler (1922): GUESS WHO STARTED THE MONTH BY WATCHING A FOUR-AND-A-HALF-HOUR LONG GERMAN SILENT FILM AND HAS NO REGRETS?? This really felt like it was stretching the limits of the entire format of movies in general, it's kind of amazing. First, because it's FOUR-AND-A-HALF FUCKING HOURS LONG, secondly, because so much of the dialogue comes in these GIANT WALLS OF TEXT, characters are just constantly giving long speeches, which... SILENT MOVIE, GUYS. WAY TO NOT PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS? Plus, the walls of text are all in German, so I had to read subtitles running UNDERNEATH them, which just added a whole different layer of crazyboots to the proceedings. Still, it was actually really good, the ending is NUTS, and I've watched plenty of movies that FELT way longer, so FUCK IT. Four-and-a-half thumbs up.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966): The most harrowing hostage drama I've ever seen.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #19! Pretty stupid, but full of Goldblum being great, and the whole sequence with Julianne Moore stuck on the breaking glass is still phenomenal. A GOOD TIME.
A Separation (2011): This didn't leave a huge impression on me when I first saw it and I've spent years thinking it was pretty overrated (if still quite good), but man, it really does hit.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958): 100 tedious minutes of awful people being awful and dancing around plot points they may or may not be allowed to actually get to. The sheer calibre of the cast manages to make it work, but ugh, Tennessee Williams, man. Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman being inhumanly beautiful doesn't hurt in the slightest.
Vera Drake (2004): Imelda Staunton as just the nicest old abortionist. Too slow and gently-paced for my tastes, but sensitive and heartbreaking nonetheless.
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979): Sweet and sad and infuriating in many different ways, and so, so good.
Rabid (1977): I can't believe Cronenberg made a movie all about Quebec's COVID-19 response over forty years ago, what a visionary.
Death in Venice (1971): Oof. I guess it's nice that the gays get their own Lolita? But this movie is like 80% just Dirk Bogarde sitting in chairs, aching with ennui as he observes his surroundings, it's beautiful but so fucking boring oh my god. Realizing the twinky teen object of his affections was the old dude in Midsommar was amazing, though.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return on the King (2003): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #20! Not the extended edition, because the movie people are COWARDS, but still a very satisfying conclusion to this little odyssey.
The Last House on the Left (1972): "You mean like a duck or something?"
The Prowler (1981): I am o b s e s s e d with the crazy-long, completely pointless scene of the hotel clerk just playing solitaire while elaborately pretending to leave his desk to deliver a phone message, BIG WORK MOOD, MY MAN. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE SEEN.
Groundhog Day (1993): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #21! My kingdom for an adaptation of the musical.
Day of the Outlaw (1959): Western... noir? DON'T MIND IF I DO. Bleak and snowy and grey is such a criminally underrated western aesthetic, it's very... Albertan? And this has got plenty of deliciously overwrought dialogue to boot. Burl Ives is an absolute beast (see also: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof).
Born Free (1966): I was all set to spend the entire runtime rolling my eyes at the trite feel-good bullshit of it all, but goddamn those lion cubs were cute. My second favourite movie featuring Matt Munro singing the movie's John Barry theme over the closing credits, I guess.
Into the West (1992): Was... was I supposed to be rooting for those kids? You can't keep a horse in an apartment! Running away is not a good solution! Seeing Colm Meany wearing jeans is weird!
Back to the Future (1985): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #22! Now I want to reread B^F.
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008): I love that Mike Leigh took two of the SUPER low-key best parts of Vera Drake (Sally Hawkins and Eddie Marsan) and just... gave 'em a movie! Anyway, when the introduction to your protagonist is her pestering a service worker who very clearly just wants to get through his day with the smallest amount of human interaction possible, you are gonna have a long, uphill climb in getting me to like her. Shockingly... I got there. This was wonderful. Enraha. ENRAHA!
The One (2001): A few minutes into this movie, Carla Gugino, while dressed like Jessica Rabbit, opens a trapdoor in the heel of her shoe and a rat comes out. The rat has distractingly large testicles and is attached to an antenna. It runs away, and right before it explodes dramatically, the ooh-AH-AH-AH-AH drop from Down with the Sickness hits, and that was when I knew I was watching Art.
My Beautiful Laundrette (1985): I needed something to rewatch while I put away my laundry.
La Fille du RER (2009): One of the more infuriatingly stupid protagonists I've seen in a while. Well acted and realized, but so very, very, frustratingly dumb. Just. Why.
The Empire Strikes Back (1980): RETURN TO THE THEATRE #23! I missed it before but it came back!!!
Husbands (1970): Great actors doing some really compelling things in what is ultimately a pretty big bore. My deep fondness for Falk, Gazzara, and yes, even Cassavetes himself took me a long way, but that last hour was rooooough.
All or Nothing (2002): One of those movies that takes so long to get going that I kinda zone out and then spend the entire middle section going 'wait, who is this again?' Not bad otherwise. James Corden was basically my brother, which was a trip.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988): God damn you fucking imp!!!
River of Grass (1994), Meek's Cutoff (2010), Wendy and Lucy (2008): Kelly Reichardt's movies are just real rewatchable to me, idk.
Mean Machine (2001): A Longest Yard remake starring a Guy Richie rogue's gallery? Sure, why not!
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it's
amazing
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THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD A BIT
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