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THE REVOLUTION WAS TELEVISED (03.15.2026)
AEW's last PPV before the next one that I will be attending was last night, and it was a good 'un! I'm still mad that I had to miss the Oscars just to watch it, but I certainly do not regret doing so. At least four solid MotY contenders in the mix, though none of them were surprises in that respect. TO THE CUT!!!
Boom & Doom vs. The Infantry: I will always resent being made to perceive the annoying Costco people, but honestly, the match was fine, it was less than eight minutes long, and they had the courtesy to get it out of the way first thing on the preshow, so I honestly cannot complain. Wayne Brady and the Rizzler both took bumps. Sure, why not!!!
Willow Nightingale (c) vs. Lena Kross for the AEW TBS Championship: Enjoying AEW's latest giant woman so far, even if this match was just a means to an end (Willow not having two belts forever because Penelope keeps getting injured when she's supposed to win one of the tag titles, sob). It's an important end when there are only four belts to go around, though!
21-Man Blackjack Battle Royale for the AEW National Championship: AND NEW!!!!! It took me so long to recognize Johnny TV without his hair. As soon as the preshow ended with this chaos still ongoing, I knew Jack was winning that shit on the main card, and for all that I'm a little annoyed about Ricochet dropping the belt RIGHT before I'm supposed to be seeing him at Global Wars in Windsor, I'm over the moon happy for Jungle Jack. IT'S THE SAME BUILDING HE CAME TO SEE SUMMERSLAM AT WITH HIS DAD WHEN HE WAS A TINY LITTLE JUNGLE LAD AND I'M NOT OKAY. He also got really serious and sincere at the media scrum afterwards and it was fantastic. I would like to ride the Jurassic Express, please (not a euphemism, it's a literal bus driven by a dinosaur).
FTR (c) vs. Young Bucks for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: So that's MotY contender #1! Easily the best tag match of the year so far, to boot. These guys always show out, but it's been, what, two and a half years since they capped off their trilogy? And since that last match happened not only when FTR were in the depths of their deeply bland and boring babyface era, but shortly after Cash's little road rage incident, but before it turned out to probably be bullshit, the vibes on them beating the Bucks at Wembley were utterly rancid and I really couldn't appreciate that match properly. NO SUCH ISSUES HERE. I love the way they didn't treat this like one of their typical big matches, where they steadily ramp up to the crazy shit, it was like they just jumped into the middle of the match and never let up on the gas once. Nick with one of the craziest blade jobs of his career??? Goddamn this ruled. I was so surprised when this turned out to be the PPV opener, but they knew what they were damn well doing. AND THEN EDGE AND CHRISTIAN FINALLY CAME BACK OUT OF THE COLD, I WILL BE SEEING THOSE OLD BITCHES IN VANCOUVER, HELL YESSSSSSSSSS. REVENGE IS BEST SERVED GAY. C&C vs. FTR at Dynasty, C&C vs. Bucks at DoN, 3-way TLC match at All In, you see the vision, right???
Toni Storm vs. Marina Shafir, Everyone Banned from Ringside: Pretty good! They hit each other hard, and it didn't overstay its welcome, which probably would have exposed more of Marina's weaknesses. Toni won after biting Marina in the boob. Just phenomenal stuff, really. The Ronda Rousey of it all is... unfortunate, but the fandom seems pretty roundly unimpressed with the development, so hopefully it'll be a one-off thing like her ROH appearance. She's clearly the only reason this was on the card at all, bit of a monkey's paw request for more women's matches on PPVs, but what can you do!!
Jon Moxley (c) vs. Konosuke Takeshita for the AEW Continental Championship, No Time Limit: A banger, which is unsurprising, but not as much of one as I was hoping for? Considering how much was made of the time limit, this only ended up going a little bit longer than twenty minutes, so what was really the point? And I really do want to see that belt change hands more often outside of the Continental Classic, sorry Mox!!
Babes of Wrath (c) vs. Megan Bayne & Lena Kross for the AEW Women's Tag Team Championship: AND NEW!!!!! It had to happen, because Megan can't just wait around forever to get her flowers, and Lena feels like a more appropriate partner for her than Marina did, but mostly I'm just so sad for Penelope. :( SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHAMP TWO TIMES OVER NOW, just the absolute worst luck. Long live the big ladies.
Swerve Strickland vs. Brody King: I don't think I've ever seen a straightforward, bloodless wrestling match that still somehow felt so much like a deathmatch? An absolutely nasty piece of work from both men, 'most dangerous' INDEED.
Thekla (c) vs. Kris Statlander for the AEW Women's World Championship, 2 out of 3 Falls: Pretty bitching, but with the ending not really in doubt after the way we got here, I couldn't get into it as much as most of Kris' big defenses. Should have just saved the strap match and title change for here, IMO, but at least being on Dynamite meant it got to main event, I guess. Still a solid cap to the trilogy!
Don Callis Family (c) vs. Místico & JetSpeed for the AEW World Trios Championship: AND NEW!!!!! Biggest surprise of the night, hands down. Everything about this just clicked, I remember thinking partway through that I couldn't remember the last time a trios title match on a PPV had felt this VITAL, and that only got truer in the aftermath. Maybe when the Acclaimed won them? And that was years ago already. Speedball and Kevin wrestling the first part of the match masked is honestly nuts, and both teams coming out in matching gear was an excellent touch. My jaw hit the fucking floor when they revealed the 'Mistico is #AllElite' graphics, legitimately almost cried, this is so much better than the predictable Kevin Knight heel turn!!! RIP Aichi Open, we hardly knew ye, but that's probably for the best because boooo double champions. And at least Dunkzilla got to hold gold for a week!
Bandido vs. Andrade El Idolo: I was expecting a MotY contender out of these two, and by god I got it. Need to rewatch, because the part where they both take their pants off is currently occupying an outsized portion of my thoughts (fucking impeccable comedic timing on Andrade when he got impatient at Bandido struggling with his and just ran up and kicked him in the sternum). It's gonna be a hell of a year for both these men, I just know it.
Roderick Strong, Orange Cassidy & Darby Allin vs. The Dogs, Tornado Trios Match: What looked like unnecessary filler on the card turned out to be a very fun breath of fresh air before the inevitable heaviness of the main event, I really dug this! Surprised the Dogs lost in their first proper outing as a trio, and it still feels like we're just treading a bit of water until Jay is finally ready to come back (though I guess they can do something with Will now that he's cleared in the meantime?), but yeah, this worked nicely as a bit of chaotic nonsense before the storm. Also I have never cared more about Roddy than I have this week, HE'S FINALLY CONGLOMERATING, KYLE'S GONNA BE SO HAPPY.
MJF (c) vs. Hangman Adam Page for the AEW World Championship, Texas Death Match: Good god, boys. Not Hangman's best TDM (that's still either his second with Mox or the Swerve one, depending on my mood), but definitely up there, even if it probably did not need to be 45 minutes long. Good god, though! Not only was it a horrific, bloody affair that was genuinely difficult to watch at times (the syringe!!!), it was very textually rich and full of callbacks (the syringe!!!). Also gay shit, those "HE'S A GOOD BOY" chants while Hangman literally dogwalked him were... something, wow. Also a birthday card, happy birthday Max!! MJF truly was just the worst possible version of Hangman here, the cowboy had to fight off all of his worst impulses and he lost. Missed the buckshot and got hung in a noose that he chose to put around his own goddamn neck and then losing his entire future in the company because of the dumbest possible stipulation he pulled out for no good reason. Just an incredible series of self-destructive own goals. Meanwhile, MJF gets to exorcise a couple of his ghosts while also ensuring that when this all comes back full circle, it's going to be so much worse for him. When Hangman finally decides to go back on his word and break the Cody stipulation to challenge again down the line or however it ends up playing up and the crowd doesn't turn on him for it? After so much of the narrative of this faceoff was about how Hangman's a ~man of his word~ while MJF is just a lying piece of shit? He's gonna mcfuckin' lose it. WHY HIM AND NOT ME, etc. etc. Well done, lads. I feel so bad for the cleaners at your hotel rooms this morning.
My heart was legitimately racing for stretches of the main event, and overall this was a 10/10 show, even with some outcomes that were not what I would have preferred (WHEN WILL TAKESHITA WIN THE BIG ONE). AEW remains absolutely unbeatable in PPVs and I want to rewatch just about the whole damn thing, but I gotta get through another, lesser celebration of cinema first.
Today's lunchtime joshi match was Syuri vs. Suzu Suzuki from the 2023 5★STAR Grand Prix. Hell yeah. That is all.
Boom & Doom vs. The Infantry: I will always resent being made to perceive the annoying Costco people, but honestly, the match was fine, it was less than eight minutes long, and they had the courtesy to get it out of the way first thing on the preshow, so I honestly cannot complain. Wayne Brady and the Rizzler both took bumps. Sure, why not!!!
Willow Nightingale (c) vs. Lena Kross for the AEW TBS Championship: Enjoying AEW's latest giant woman so far, even if this match was just a means to an end (Willow not having two belts forever because Penelope keeps getting injured when she's supposed to win one of the tag titles, sob). It's an important end when there are only four belts to go around, though!
21-Man Blackjack Battle Royale for the AEW National Championship: AND NEW!!!!! It took me so long to recognize Johnny TV without his hair. As soon as the preshow ended with this chaos still ongoing, I knew Jack was winning that shit on the main card, and for all that I'm a little annoyed about Ricochet dropping the belt RIGHT before I'm supposed to be seeing him at Global Wars in Windsor, I'm over the moon happy for Jungle Jack. IT'S THE SAME BUILDING HE CAME TO SEE SUMMERSLAM AT WITH HIS DAD WHEN HE WAS A TINY LITTLE JUNGLE LAD AND I'M NOT OKAY. He also got really serious and sincere at the media scrum afterwards and it was fantastic. I would like to ride the Jurassic Express, please (not a euphemism, it's a literal bus driven by a dinosaur).
FTR (c) vs. Young Bucks for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: So that's MotY contender #1! Easily the best tag match of the year so far, to boot. These guys always show out, but it's been, what, two and a half years since they capped off their trilogy? And since that last match happened not only when FTR were in the depths of their deeply bland and boring babyface era, but shortly after Cash's little road rage incident, but before it turned out to probably be bullshit, the vibes on them beating the Bucks at Wembley were utterly rancid and I really couldn't appreciate that match properly. NO SUCH ISSUES HERE. I love the way they didn't treat this like one of their typical big matches, where they steadily ramp up to the crazy shit, it was like they just jumped into the middle of the match and never let up on the gas once. Nick with one of the craziest blade jobs of his career??? Goddamn this ruled. I was so surprised when this turned out to be the PPV opener, but they knew what they were damn well doing. AND THEN EDGE AND CHRISTIAN FINALLY CAME BACK OUT OF THE COLD, I WILL BE SEEING THOSE OLD BITCHES IN VANCOUVER, HELL YESSSSSSSSSS. REVENGE IS BEST SERVED GAY. C&C vs. FTR at Dynasty, C&C vs. Bucks at DoN, 3-way TLC match at All In, you see the vision, right???
Toni Storm vs. Marina Shafir, Everyone Banned from Ringside: Pretty good! They hit each other hard, and it didn't overstay its welcome, which probably would have exposed more of Marina's weaknesses. Toni won after biting Marina in the boob. Just phenomenal stuff, really. The Ronda Rousey of it all is... unfortunate, but the fandom seems pretty roundly unimpressed with the development, so hopefully it'll be a one-off thing like her ROH appearance. She's clearly the only reason this was on the card at all, bit of a monkey's paw request for more women's matches on PPVs, but what can you do!!
Jon Moxley (c) vs. Konosuke Takeshita for the AEW Continental Championship, No Time Limit: A banger, which is unsurprising, but not as much of one as I was hoping for? Considering how much was made of the time limit, this only ended up going a little bit longer than twenty minutes, so what was really the point? And I really do want to see that belt change hands more often outside of the Continental Classic, sorry Mox!!
Babes of Wrath (c) vs. Megan Bayne & Lena Kross for the AEW Women's Tag Team Championship: AND NEW!!!!! It had to happen, because Megan can't just wait around forever to get her flowers, and Lena feels like a more appropriate partner for her than Marina did, but mostly I'm just so sad for Penelope. :( SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHAMP TWO TIMES OVER NOW, just the absolute worst luck. Long live the big ladies.
Swerve Strickland vs. Brody King: I don't think I've ever seen a straightforward, bloodless wrestling match that still somehow felt so much like a deathmatch? An absolutely nasty piece of work from both men, 'most dangerous' INDEED.
Thekla (c) vs. Kris Statlander for the AEW Women's World Championship, 2 out of 3 Falls: Pretty bitching, but with the ending not really in doubt after the way we got here, I couldn't get into it as much as most of Kris' big defenses. Should have just saved the strap match and title change for here, IMO, but at least being on Dynamite meant it got to main event, I guess. Still a solid cap to the trilogy!
Don Callis Family (c) vs. Místico & JetSpeed for the AEW World Trios Championship: AND NEW!!!!! Biggest surprise of the night, hands down. Everything about this just clicked, I remember thinking partway through that I couldn't remember the last time a trios title match on a PPV had felt this VITAL, and that only got truer in the aftermath. Maybe when the Acclaimed won them? And that was years ago already. Speedball and Kevin wrestling the first part of the match masked is honestly nuts, and both teams coming out in matching gear was an excellent touch. My jaw hit the fucking floor when they revealed the 'Mistico is #AllElite' graphics, legitimately almost cried, this is so much better than the predictable Kevin Knight heel turn!!! RIP Aichi Open, we hardly knew ye, but that's probably for the best because boooo double champions. And at least Dunkzilla got to hold gold for a week!
Bandido vs. Andrade El Idolo: I was expecting a MotY contender out of these two, and by god I got it. Need to rewatch, because the part where they both take their pants off is currently occupying an outsized portion of my thoughts (fucking impeccable comedic timing on Andrade when he got impatient at Bandido struggling with his and just ran up and kicked him in the sternum). It's gonna be a hell of a year for both these men, I just know it.
Roderick Strong, Orange Cassidy & Darby Allin vs. The Dogs, Tornado Trios Match: What looked like unnecessary filler on the card turned out to be a very fun breath of fresh air before the inevitable heaviness of the main event, I really dug this! Surprised the Dogs lost in their first proper outing as a trio, and it still feels like we're just treading a bit of water until Jay is finally ready to come back (though I guess they can do something with Will now that he's cleared in the meantime?), but yeah, this worked nicely as a bit of chaotic nonsense before the storm. Also I have never cared more about Roddy than I have this week, HE'S FINALLY CONGLOMERATING, KYLE'S GONNA BE SO HAPPY.
MJF (c) vs. Hangman Adam Page for the AEW World Championship, Texas Death Match: Good god, boys. Not Hangman's best TDM (that's still either his second with Mox or the Swerve one, depending on my mood), but definitely up there, even if it probably did not need to be 45 minutes long. Good god, though! Not only was it a horrific, bloody affair that was genuinely difficult to watch at times (the syringe!!!), it was very textually rich and full of callbacks (the syringe!!!). Also gay shit, those "HE'S A GOOD BOY" chants while Hangman literally dogwalked him were... something, wow. Also a birthday card, happy birthday Max!! MJF truly was just the worst possible version of Hangman here, the cowboy had to fight off all of his worst impulses and he lost. Missed the buckshot and got hung in a noose that he chose to put around his own goddamn neck and then losing his entire future in the company because of the dumbest possible stipulation he pulled out for no good reason. Just an incredible series of self-destructive own goals. Meanwhile, MJF gets to exorcise a couple of his ghosts while also ensuring that when this all comes back full circle, it's going to be so much worse for him. When Hangman finally decides to go back on his word and break the Cody stipulation to challenge again down the line or however it ends up playing up and the crowd doesn't turn on him for it? After so much of the narrative of this faceoff was about how Hangman's a ~man of his word~ while MJF is just a lying piece of shit? He's gonna mcfuckin' lose it. WHY HIM AND NOT ME, etc. etc. Well done, lads. I feel so bad for the cleaners at your hotel rooms this morning.
My heart was legitimately racing for stretches of the main event, and overall this was a 10/10 show, even with some outcomes that were not what I would have preferred (WHEN WILL TAKESHITA WIN THE BIG ONE). AEW remains absolutely unbeatable in PPVs and I want to rewatch just about the whole damn thing, but I gotta get through another, lesser celebration of cinema first.
Today's lunchtime joshi match was Syuri vs. Suzu Suzuki from the 2023 5★STAR Grand Prix. Hell yeah. That is all.