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YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION (03.09.2025)
Feeling much more rested today, even though I was up until one in the morning doing responsible things like writing important emails and paying my credit card bills. I'm simply filled with the energy of amazing wrestling, I suppose! And also the pure joy of being so close to the end of the work week, perhaps. One more day! After the rest of this one, anyway.
Lee Johnson & Blake Christian vs. Komander & Hologram: Love seeing the ROH boys getting some love out there. I wonder if they're saving Komander & Hologram vs. Mortos & Dralistico for later, or if visa shenanigans led to Lee & Blake subbing in, but this was fun either way. Good match to warm the crowd up a bit.
Daniel Garcia, Adam Cole, Kyle O'Reilly & Roderick Strong vs. Shane Taylor Promotions: Guessing this is just a breadcrumb along the primrose path to Adam Cole eventually beating Danny for the TNT title, but damn, my boy Taigastyle deserved better than that, much as I enjoy any pretty much any permutation of him, Garcia, and Yuta in action.
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Gravity for the ROH World Championship: A total waste of time unless it actually leads to Bandido beating Jericho and regaining the belt, in which case... damn, yeah, okay, solid drama for a no contest. PLEASE let Bandido get that damn belt back already. Mama Gravity doing ACTING was the highlight here.
Orange Cassidy, Big Boom! A.J. & Mark Briscoe vs. Johnny TV & MxM Collection: I am so tired of the Costco people being a going concern, but I love everyone else in this bar, so I will grimly accept their presences when I must. Tons of goofy comedy wrestling and celebrity nonsense to end the preshow shenanigans on a fun note before we get to four straight hours of REAL FUCKIN' GRAPS.
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MJF vs. Hangman Adam Page: Truly insane opener, one of those matches that make you feel like you need a cigarette, even if you've never smoked. Hangman got a haircut! Still came out through the heel tunnel, though, because he will decide for HIMSELF when he's done feeling like the worst, not the crowd, thank you very much. The flames of rage and violent fury on his gear have dwindled to embers and smoke, though!!! Which is still enough to beat MJF's ass when he's this pathetic and desperate to be loved, at least, I really hope he's okay after taking that Angel's Wings directly on his fucking face. From Double or Nothing 2019 to today, don't ask Hangman why he's the main character and not you, Max, he sure as fuck doesn't know!! Somebody compared this to the... third? Omega/Okada match, in that there's no real build up, they both just immediately turn shit up to 11 and beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes and it's amazing, and that comparison rang very true to me. MORE, PLEASE.
Mercedes Moné (c) vs. Momo Watanabe for the AEW TBS Championship: BANGER #2 INCOMING. It wasn't quite as good as their match last year, and I think Momo might have gotten hurt early on, but they still went out there and tore the house down. The crowd was a little tired out after such a high-octane opening match, but couldn't help getting into this one after about five minutes. GET USED TO KEEPING YOUR ENERGY UP, FUCKOS, THIS CARD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO CATCH YOUR BREATH. Amazing how much Momo won the LA fans over when a lot of them probably barely know who she is, and while I think Mercedes was dressed like a sexy baseball, as long as she keeps handing out matches of this calibre, she's allowed.
Swerve Strickland vs. Ricochet in a #1 Contenders Match: OH LOOK ANOTHER BANGER. High speed, hard-hitting (that vertebreaker through the Spanish announcers' desk was stunning), with just enough sheNanagans to keep the drama level high and not get annoying at interrupting the actual fight. Ricochet altering Jimmy Rave's robe is unforgivable, and Swerve main eventing Dynasty a year after he won the title there the first time is going to be fire. Also they telegraphed Nana turning on him so heavily the last couple of weeks that the emotional catharsis when he didn't was so satisfying. Love wins!!! Bardic Inspiration for everybody!!!
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Brody King for the AEW Continental Championship: Slows things down a bit from the GOGOGOGO pace of the show thus far, but only a little. Big goofy shithead Okada is my everything, and it's nice to see how the Hounds of Hell are thriving without Malakai. WOOF WOOF WOOF.
The Hurt Syndicate (c) vs. The Outrunners for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: My hottest take right now is probably that the Outrunners simply are not great wrestlers? They're fine, just good enough to be the delightful throwback comedy act that they are, and I absolutely adore them, but matches like these really expose them and should probably be limited. Also they should keep the VHS filter for the whole match, idgaf. Hurt Syndicate just turn face already, you're never going to get around how much people love chanting your theme!
Jon Moxley (c) vs. Cope for the AEW World Championship: Ech. Not as much of a messy clunker as Mox's Worlds End four-way, just a very slow, methodical sort of match in a card without any of those. It was not needed! It was FINE, but with how hard the rest of the card went, it felt pretty plodding at times and never really managing to kick into a higher gear, even with the Christian cash in. And then nothing even paid off storywise! Is Yuta gonna turn on Mox? Nope! Is Jay gonna turn on Cope? Nope! Is Christian going to accomplish anything after schlepping that contract around for more than half a year? Nope! When he reaches out to Cope to save him at the end when he's the reason Cope can't, that's the stuff right there, and it is going to be a load-bearing moment when it comes to remembering this match with any degree of fondness. BATSWERVE also did a lot to make sure things didn't end on too sour a note. Beyond that, just more treading water with the Death Riders.
Konosuke Takeshita (c) vs. Kenny Omega for the AEW International Championship: Finally having a title on Kenny again just feels right. Good thing this came directly after the worst match of the night so I wasn't completely emotionally exhausted and my brain wasn't too full of static about gay ladies brilliantly murdering each other to properly appreciate the absolute BANGER NUMBER WHO CAN KEEP TRACK that these two put on (I will probably be rewatching it tonight anyway, though). Really wish they'd stop talking about how Kenny's guts might explode at any moment on commentary, but they probably won't. HE AND TAKESHITA WITH THE MATCHING HAJIME NO IPPO GEAR, THOSE FUCKING NERDS, AAAAAAAHHHHH SO COOL.
Will Ospreay vs. Kyle Fletcher in a Steel Cage Match: Kyle took a Styles Clash dick-first into a bunch of thumbtacks. Five-star classic, 10/10, no notes. Not sure how I feel about Ospreay's dubstep intro, but all the shit they did off the top of that cage will live in my brain rent-free forever. Christ, what an exhausting night (complimentary).
Toni Storm (c) vs. Mariah May in The Hollywood Ending for the AEW Women's World Championship: Over a year of obsession and blood and tears and threesomes and betrayals and love and hate and shoes and glamour and CINEMA comes down to this. Two women, one in a wedding dress, taping their fists to have a Taipei death match with the broken glass of the champagne bottles they used to share. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, INNIT??? A bloody, brutal brawl and a legitimate match of the year contender. That last image of Toni draped over Mariah's unconscious body and just laying her head down on her chest with eyes closed, able to pretend that they're together again for just a few precious moments in the middle of the stage they shared so many memories both beautiful and tragic on, THE END on the titantron high above them as we fade to black...... gosh I love movies.
Now imagine if that snoozer of a men's world title match had main evented instead, that would have been crazy, right? Good thing literally everybody in the worldexcept Tony Khan I guess knew better!
What do I even do with myself tonight after all that???
Lee Johnson & Blake Christian vs. Komander & Hologram: Love seeing the ROH boys getting some love out there. I wonder if they're saving Komander & Hologram vs. Mortos & Dralistico for later, or if visa shenanigans led to Lee & Blake subbing in, but this was fun either way. Good match to warm the crowd up a bit.
Daniel Garcia, Adam Cole, Kyle O'Reilly & Roderick Strong vs. Shane Taylor Promotions: Guessing this is just a breadcrumb along the primrose path to Adam Cole eventually beating Danny for the TNT title, but damn, my boy Taigastyle deserved better than that, much as I enjoy any pretty much any permutation of him, Garcia, and Yuta in action.
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Gravity for the ROH World Championship: A total waste of time unless it actually leads to Bandido beating Jericho and regaining the belt, in which case... damn, yeah, okay, solid drama for a no contest. PLEASE let Bandido get that damn belt back already. Mama Gravity doing ACTING was the highlight here.
Orange Cassidy, Big Boom! A.J. & Mark Briscoe vs. Johnny TV & MxM Collection: I am so tired of the Costco people being a going concern, but I love everyone else in this bar, so I will grimly accept their presences when I must. Tons of goofy comedy wrestling and celebrity nonsense to end the preshow shenanigans on a fun note before we get to four straight hours of REAL FUCKIN' GRAPS.
-----
MJF vs. Hangman Adam Page: Truly insane opener, one of those matches that make you feel like you need a cigarette, even if you've never smoked. Hangman got a haircut! Still came out through the heel tunnel, though, because he will decide for HIMSELF when he's done feeling like the worst, not the crowd, thank you very much. The flames of rage and violent fury on his gear have dwindled to embers and smoke, though!!! Which is still enough to beat MJF's ass when he's this pathetic and desperate to be loved, at least, I really hope he's okay after taking that Angel's Wings directly on his fucking face. From Double or Nothing 2019 to today, don't ask Hangman why he's the main character and not you, Max, he sure as fuck doesn't know!! Somebody compared this to the... third? Omega/Okada match, in that there's no real build up, they both just immediately turn shit up to 11 and beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes and it's amazing, and that comparison rang very true to me. MORE, PLEASE.
Mercedes Moné (c) vs. Momo Watanabe for the AEW TBS Championship: BANGER #2 INCOMING. It wasn't quite as good as their match last year, and I think Momo might have gotten hurt early on, but they still went out there and tore the house down. The crowd was a little tired out after such a high-octane opening match, but couldn't help getting into this one after about five minutes. GET USED TO KEEPING YOUR ENERGY UP, FUCKOS, THIS CARD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO CATCH YOUR BREATH. Amazing how much Momo won the LA fans over when a lot of them probably barely know who she is, and while I think Mercedes was dressed like a sexy baseball, as long as she keeps handing out matches of this calibre, she's allowed.
Swerve Strickland vs. Ricochet in a #1 Contenders Match: OH LOOK ANOTHER BANGER. High speed, hard-hitting (that vertebreaker through the Spanish announcers' desk was stunning), with just enough sheNanagans to keep the drama level high and not get annoying at interrupting the actual fight. Ricochet altering Jimmy Rave's robe is unforgivable, and Swerve main eventing Dynasty a year after he won the title there the first time is going to be fire. Also they telegraphed Nana turning on him so heavily the last couple of weeks that the emotional catharsis when he didn't was so satisfying. Love wins!!! Bardic Inspiration for everybody!!!
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Brody King for the AEW Continental Championship: Slows things down a bit from the GOGOGOGO pace of the show thus far, but only a little. Big goofy shithead Okada is my everything, and it's nice to see how the Hounds of Hell are thriving without Malakai. WOOF WOOF WOOF.
The Hurt Syndicate (c) vs. The Outrunners for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: My hottest take right now is probably that the Outrunners simply are not great wrestlers? They're fine, just good enough to be the delightful throwback comedy act that they are, and I absolutely adore them, but matches like these really expose them and should probably be limited. Also they should keep the VHS filter for the whole match, idgaf. Hurt Syndicate just turn face already, you're never going to get around how much people love chanting your theme!
Jon Moxley (c) vs. Cope for the AEW World Championship: Ech. Not as much of a messy clunker as Mox's Worlds End four-way, just a very slow, methodical sort of match in a card without any of those. It was not needed! It was FINE, but with how hard the rest of the card went, it felt pretty plodding at times and never really managing to kick into a higher gear, even with the Christian cash in. And then nothing even paid off storywise! Is Yuta gonna turn on Mox? Nope! Is Jay gonna turn on Cope? Nope! Is Christian going to accomplish anything after schlepping that contract around for more than half a year? Nope! When he reaches out to Cope to save him at the end when he's the reason Cope can't, that's the stuff right there, and it is going to be a load-bearing moment when it comes to remembering this match with any degree of fondness. BATSWERVE also did a lot to make sure things didn't end on too sour a note. Beyond that, just more treading water with the Death Riders.
Konosuke Takeshita (c) vs. Kenny Omega for the AEW International Championship: Finally having a title on Kenny again just feels right. Good thing this came directly after the worst match of the night so I wasn't completely emotionally exhausted and my brain wasn't too full of static about gay ladies brilliantly murdering each other to properly appreciate the absolute BANGER NUMBER WHO CAN KEEP TRACK that these two put on (I will probably be rewatching it tonight anyway, though). Really wish they'd stop talking about how Kenny's guts might explode at any moment on commentary, but they probably won't. HE AND TAKESHITA WITH THE MATCHING HAJIME NO IPPO GEAR, THOSE FUCKING NERDS, AAAAAAAHHHHH SO COOL.
Will Ospreay vs. Kyle Fletcher in a Steel Cage Match: Kyle took a Styles Clash dick-first into a bunch of thumbtacks. Five-star classic, 10/10, no notes. Not sure how I feel about Ospreay's dubstep intro, but all the shit they did off the top of that cage will live in my brain rent-free forever. Christ, what an exhausting night (complimentary).
Toni Storm (c) vs. Mariah May in The Hollywood Ending for the AEW Women's World Championship: Over a year of obsession and blood and tears and threesomes and betrayals and love and hate and shoes and glamour and CINEMA comes down to this. Two women, one in a wedding dress, taping their fists to have a Taipei death match with the broken glass of the champagne bottles they used to share. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, INNIT??? A bloody, brutal brawl and a legitimate match of the year contender. That last image of Toni draped over Mariah's unconscious body and just laying her head down on her chest with eyes closed, able to pretend that they're together again for just a few precious moments in the middle of the stage they shared so many memories both beautiful and tragic on, THE END on the titantron high above them as we fade to black...... gosh I love movies.
Now imagine if that snoozer of a men's world title match had main evented instead, that would have been crazy, right? Good thing literally everybody in the world
What do I even do with myself tonight after all that???