re: gut checks and earworms

[merridia]

Noticed last night that mom had quietly put Teddy's food and water bowls away and got super sad all over again, and then it rained and I kept thinking about her getting all cold and wet in the dirt, which is objectively silly, so I also kept feeling quite dumb about it all, but then I also realized that I have been lucky enough to go my entire adult life without having a pet die and so I think my conception of that sort of grief is a little bit locked in my mind as this childhood thing that I should have outgrown? Which is extra silly; it is normal to be sad about sad things, even if they are about very small kitties who are not around anymore and logically you should know better.

Trying to keep a physical journal again to assist with my last-minute vacation planning. Maybe doing that and ultimately failing over and over again until you die is the real marker of adulthood. As stressed out as I am right now, maybe the actual purpose of leaving will be to just be unable to do all the things I need to do for two weeks and thus not feel guilty for not getting them all done??

5. How are you more likely to make an important decision, by reasoning through it, or by going with your gut?

Reasoning through it for far too long and then just going with what my gut said in the first place regardless.

6. Do you ever get more than one song stuck in your head?

Hmm. I don't think so, but I can bounce between them pretty rapidly.

Fuck, it's cold in here. I need to stop ordering food every goddamn day, but I probably won't!

Comments

[whatwedo]

Girl, I still miss a fish (Mr. Fantail) that I had for two years when I was a literal child. There's no reason to feel dumb about any grief you're experiencing, especially when it's so fresh <3 You're just being a human, and I'm sorry for you loss :(

[lessthanpie]

I’m so sorry about your kitty. It’s been four years since my Tabitha cat died, and I could literally cry over her right now, I miss her so much. They just squish themselves into our hearts and there’s nothing we can do about it.

[imperfect_tense]

<333333 Teddy seemed like such a sweet old lady.