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Winter Is Coming/Rampage (12.15.21/12.17.21)
Went to Thwip City VERY late last night, and am... not doing great today as a result. No regrets, but plenty of shivers (I get very cold when I'm sleepy). Also it has just continued to be very cold of late! Though we haven't QUITE hit -40 yet that I've noticed, we were riding the line for a couple of days straight.
After pouring some of my water bottle into a wilty, bone-dry poinsettia (seriously, fuck my cross-shift so hard, she didn't do any goddamn filing, either) and coming in to see it all perky again the next day, I can totally understand why some people get weird about plants. I feel like a god. And also keep talking to it, but maybe that's just the sleep deprivation.
Gonna try to just hunker down and do a bit of work (but not a lot, fuck you it's Sunday) and catch some Pokemon and maybe try to figure out wtf I'm doing for last-minute Christmas presents (FIVE DAYS, FUCK). I think this is a big part of why I like Halloween so much more than Christmas; they've both got impeccable holiday vibes that can carry an entire months-long season, but only one of them comes with unavoidable obligations.
Having a bad time w/r/t binge eating and weight gain of late, but I'mma let it ride until the new year, fuck it, it's the holidays. Letting myself order food every single day as long as it's never from the same place twice; so far I've done Japanese, Indian, Newfie fast food chicken, and a burrito: what will it be today?? I'm thinking Quizno's.
A cut in which I ramble about a single goddamn wrestling match for hundreds of words:
Hangman Page (c) vs. Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Championship: Oh, wow. Wow. I had so many questions at the top of this show: Why the fuck is the title match not the main event? Why are there only four matches booked on such an important card? Why is the absent Kenny still ranked #2 when Hangman beating Bryan here would necessitate a new challenger ahead of Battle of the Belts in three weeks? The first two questions got answered by the time the half hour mark rolled around with no end to the match in sight, but even then, I still didn't think they'd actually do the thing! But I suppose that's the thing about precedents, you gotta set them first. Like how, until it actually happened, common logic dictated that a match was never going to end in picture-in-picture; once it did, all bets were off. Because AEW just doesn't do those long, Japanese-style matches as a matter of course, we're never going to see a time-limit draw in a world title match, particularly on television, that's just common sense! Until it happens, and then it isn't anymore, and boy was getting there a JOURNEY.
Obviously, I was fairly certain going in that Hangman wasn't going to lose his first title defense after a two year build to him winning the damn thing (and before he gets that feud with Mox they were setting up), and for the first twenty minutes or so, I was comfortable in that knowledge. But the more it wore on and became clear that it was gonna be A Whole Thing, those natural nerves settled in more and more, and while my initial expectations never REALLY changed, I got more and more frazzled watching Bryan overwhelmingly staying on the offense, and those near-falls started making my heart jump more and more every time.
The pacing was great, and worked even better on the rewatch; the rest spots were obvious but also placed neatly over the commercial breaks so the ebb and flow of the match still felt natural (god bless the FITE TV feed that never actually cuts away to picture-in-picture). Both men played their roles to perfection; cocky heel Bryan and beleaguered babyface Hangman just taking each other to their limits. HEY ADAM HOW ABOUT YOU END A BIG MATCH WITH YOUR HAIR THE SAME COLOUR IT STARTED OUT, HUH? YOU ARE NOT A REDHEAD, SIR. Too many great spots to highlight, but Hangman finally getting to kick Bryan's head in to avenge his cultist buddies, that leap off of the ringpost through the timekeeper's table, that Deadeye on the apron, and Hangman getting put in the Cattle Mutilation (cuz... cow boy lol) are the first ones that immediately come to mind. GOD, WHAT A FIGHT.
Which brings me to the ending. Do I like it? I'm not sure. I don't think I do, but I do appreciate it? I really do wish Hangman had been able to get a decisive win in his first defense to properly establish him as champ, but ultimately, AEW's first-ever 60-minute time limit draw is probably a more indelibly historic moment to kick off his reign than a win in 59:49 or whatever, and the size of the heartbreak I felt at the end when he still retained the title was a real testament to the journey those men took me on, particularly in those last few minutes after going through hell for an hour (Hangman took such a beating that I spent much of the last twenty minutes just PRAYING for the clock to run down, and then when it actually did... oof). And for as much as I question the finish's role in Hangman's story (I don't want him to lose any of his newfound swagger, but maybe it was worth bringing him back down to the ground a bit so he can focus more), I DO quite like what it signals for Bryan, how even though nobody has yet been able to put him away, when he's been up against the best of the best like Kenny or Hangman, HE hasn't been able to seal the deal, either.
(also shoutout to Paul Turner, that man is not an athlete and he hung in there, following those two maniacs all around the place and keeping the energy up for a full goddamn hour, way to go dude)
ALSO HANGMAN'S NEW COW PRINT PANTS WERE STUNNING, he's been getting so much beautiful new gear lately and it rules. Top guy! He has now had three 5-or-higher-star matches in his career, and two of them were back-to-back, like. That's pretty damn cool. Also, Bryan/Kenny, Kenny/Hangman, and Hangman/Bryan have now had a little trilogy of five-star matches in rapid succession, like a three-way tango, and I can't wait to see how the Hangman/Bryan rematch at BotB furthers the story! GIVE ME THAT DECISIVE WIN FOR THE COWBOY.
Alright, real quick through the rest of the week: All Elite/SuperKliq promos from now on should have festive kazoo music backing them, Santana & Ortiz already beat them to threatening Sue and her van last year, though. Adam's present is Kyle, right? It's definitely Kyle. Young Bucks gonna be all 'an avocado... thanks' while Adam and Bobby beam.
Matt Sydal vs. Wardlow: I am starting to get a little fireworks factory antsy for Wardlow to turn on MJF already. STILL NOT THIS WEEK. IT'S GOTTA BE CLOSE, THOUGH. Poor Matt.
FUCKING AMAZING MALAKAI BLACK PROMO, even if a part of me is a little like 'another cult plot? really?' THAT'S TOTALLY BRODY KING, RIGHT??? GIMME GIMME GIMME I LOVE THAT LARGE TATTOOED MAN
Serena Deeb vs. Hikaru Shida: Maybe it's because they weren't given a ton of time to work with, maybe it's because the feud was taken completely off the stove for three weeks ahead of this (forget the backburner, ONLY ONE WOMEN'S PLOT AT A TIME), but this didn't hit nearly as hard as I hoping for the big climactic trilogy capper between these two. Still quite good, Serena getting fucked on the exposed turnbuckle so Shida could get the jackknife pin was a fun finish, but it wasn't even their best match?
MJF vs. Dante Martin for the Dynamite Diamond Ring: Fine! I'm just tired of this being the thing MJF wins every single year, makes it all feel kinda pointless, though if it's just to give him something big while keeping him out of the main title position, I'll take it. Still, a good showcase for Dante, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of his feud with Team Taz!
No Wardlow coming out with champagne in the aftermath was very interesting, but then the lights went out, and while I wasn't someone who NEEDED a big surprise debut from this show, having a big moment of suspense like this at the very end of your show creates expectations, you know? Especially with how much TK hyped it up as being bigger than last year's. So when the lights came back up and it was just Sting and Darby there to further their thing with FTR, woof, what a wet fart of an ending. WHATEVER, WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE REAL MAIN EVENT HERE WAS.
Oh also CM Punk ran out to clean house in a pro-choice t-shirt because he is just the DILFiest.
Young Bucks, Bobby Fish & Adam Cole vs. Orange Cassidy, Best Friends & Rocky Romero: Well this was a goddamn DELIGHT of a match. Finally pitting Orange against a fun bad guy that you don't mind seeing win is really bringing back the 'who gives a fuck' joy of his early nonsense before they pushed him into being more of a top guy. Plus TRENT!!! He's back in action!!! And he got his last name back, apparently!!! Am glad that Justin Roberts still pronounced the question mark in his name during introductions, though. Love that he got to do his big tag team finishers with both Chuck AND Rocky (who is REALLY making the most of his current American tour) before getting the pin. No more injuries for you, sir! You are back again and back you must stay! I really hope you don't turn on the whole gang because you're bitter over how they replaced you with Yuta while you got a cyborg neck put in! Although that does sound really fun!
Dan Lambert's back. Now Cody and Dustin are also involved. I guess that's one way to try to get crowds to cheer for you, Codester. This shit still sucks, and I mostly just played GardenScapes until it was over.
Tay Conti vs. Penelope Ford in a Submission Match: Short and sweet, with a fun stipulation, but uh... we're just going back to the Goth Murder Girlfriends vs. Goth Sunshine Girlfriends feud, huh? Just cuz? Why come up with any new stories for the division, right, YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE TOURNAMENT, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, GEEZ.
Lucha Brothers, Eddie Kingston, Santana & Ortiz vs. Daniel Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed: I was hoping for someone more interesting than the Acclaimed to fill those last two slots, since they had nothing to do with any of these guys until now, they just kinda felt like the generic heel team there to pad the body count going in, but damn, they really gave Bowens a lot of time to shine here! Good for him! Eddie getting to reunite with both his former Familia and LAX is very cool and sexy (all five of those guys entered AEW as heels, lol), and Daniel getting the win on him was a very fun surprise. Overall, I kinda think two giant multi-man matches in a single one-hour was a bit much, though (especially with women getting to represent just 10% of the wrestlers on said show). Guess they had to make up for only having eight wrestlers on Dynamite SOMEHOW. Looks like Jurassic Express will be Penta and Fenix's next challengers to the tag belts? That should fuck, even if this ending felt very random.
Okay, filing time. And then present brainstorming for my mom and brother.
After pouring some of my water bottle into a wilty, bone-dry poinsettia (seriously, fuck my cross-shift so hard, she didn't do any goddamn filing, either) and coming in to see it all perky again the next day, I can totally understand why some people get weird about plants. I feel like a god. And also keep talking to it, but maybe that's just the sleep deprivation.
Gonna try to just hunker down and do a bit of work (but not a lot, fuck you it's Sunday) and catch some Pokemon and maybe try to figure out wtf I'm doing for last-minute Christmas presents (FIVE DAYS, FUCK). I think this is a big part of why I like Halloween so much more than Christmas; they've both got impeccable holiday vibes that can carry an entire months-long season, but only one of them comes with unavoidable obligations.
Having a bad time w/r/t binge eating and weight gain of late, but I'mma let it ride until the new year, fuck it, it's the holidays. Letting myself order food every single day as long as it's never from the same place twice; so far I've done Japanese, Indian, Newfie fast food chicken, and a burrito: what will it be today?? I'm thinking Quizno's.
A cut in which I ramble about a single goddamn wrestling match for hundreds of words:
Hangman Page (c) vs. Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Championship: Oh, wow. Wow. I had so many questions at the top of this show: Why the fuck is the title match not the main event? Why are there only four matches booked on such an important card? Why is the absent Kenny still ranked #2 when Hangman beating Bryan here would necessitate a new challenger ahead of Battle of the Belts in three weeks? The first two questions got answered by the time the half hour mark rolled around with no end to the match in sight, but even then, I still didn't think they'd actually do the thing! But I suppose that's the thing about precedents, you gotta set them first. Like how, until it actually happened, common logic dictated that a match was never going to end in picture-in-picture; once it did, all bets were off. Because AEW just doesn't do those long, Japanese-style matches as a matter of course, we're never going to see a time-limit draw in a world title match, particularly on television, that's just common sense! Until it happens, and then it isn't anymore, and boy was getting there a JOURNEY.
Obviously, I was fairly certain going in that Hangman wasn't going to lose his first title defense after a two year build to him winning the damn thing (and before he gets that feud with Mox they were setting up), and for the first twenty minutes or so, I was comfortable in that knowledge. But the more it wore on and became clear that it was gonna be A Whole Thing, those natural nerves settled in more and more, and while my initial expectations never REALLY changed, I got more and more frazzled watching Bryan overwhelmingly staying on the offense, and those near-falls started making my heart jump more and more every time.
The pacing was great, and worked even better on the rewatch; the rest spots were obvious but also placed neatly over the commercial breaks so the ebb and flow of the match still felt natural (god bless the FITE TV feed that never actually cuts away to picture-in-picture). Both men played their roles to perfection; cocky heel Bryan and beleaguered babyface Hangman just taking each other to their limits. HEY ADAM HOW ABOUT YOU END A BIG MATCH WITH YOUR HAIR THE SAME COLOUR IT STARTED OUT, HUH? YOU ARE NOT A REDHEAD, SIR. Too many great spots to highlight, but Hangman finally getting to kick Bryan's head in to avenge his cultist buddies, that leap off of the ringpost through the timekeeper's table, that Deadeye on the apron, and Hangman getting put in the Cattle Mutilation (cuz... cow boy lol) are the first ones that immediately come to mind. GOD, WHAT A FIGHT.
Which brings me to the ending. Do I like it? I'm not sure. I don't think I do, but I do appreciate it? I really do wish Hangman had been able to get a decisive win in his first defense to properly establish him as champ, but ultimately, AEW's first-ever 60-minute time limit draw is probably a more indelibly historic moment to kick off his reign than a win in 59:49 or whatever, and the size of the heartbreak I felt at the end when he still retained the title was a real testament to the journey those men took me on, particularly in those last few minutes after going through hell for an hour (Hangman took such a beating that I spent much of the last twenty minutes just PRAYING for the clock to run down, and then when it actually did... oof). And for as much as I question the finish's role in Hangman's story (I don't want him to lose any of his newfound swagger, but maybe it was worth bringing him back down to the ground a bit so he can focus more), I DO quite like what it signals for Bryan, how even though nobody has yet been able to put him away, when he's been up against the best of the best like Kenny or Hangman, HE hasn't been able to seal the deal, either.
(also shoutout to Paul Turner, that man is not an athlete and he hung in there, following those two maniacs all around the place and keeping the energy up for a full goddamn hour, way to go dude)
ALSO HANGMAN'S NEW COW PRINT PANTS WERE STUNNING, he's been getting so much beautiful new gear lately and it rules. Top guy! He has now had three 5-or-higher-star matches in his career, and two of them were back-to-back, like. That's pretty damn cool. Also, Bryan/Kenny, Kenny/Hangman, and Hangman/Bryan have now had a little trilogy of five-star matches in rapid succession, like a three-way tango, and I can't wait to see how the Hangman/Bryan rematch at BotB furthers the story! GIVE ME THAT DECISIVE WIN FOR THE COWBOY.
Alright, real quick through the rest of the week: All Elite/SuperKliq promos from now on should have festive kazoo music backing them, Santana & Ortiz already beat them to threatening Sue and her van last year, though. Adam's present is Kyle, right? It's definitely Kyle. Young Bucks gonna be all 'an avocado... thanks' while Adam and Bobby beam.
Matt Sydal vs. Wardlow: I am starting to get a little fireworks factory antsy for Wardlow to turn on MJF already. STILL NOT THIS WEEK. IT'S GOTTA BE CLOSE, THOUGH. Poor Matt.
FUCKING AMAZING MALAKAI BLACK PROMO, even if a part of me is a little like 'another cult plot? really?' THAT'S TOTALLY BRODY KING, RIGHT??? GIMME GIMME GIMME I LOVE THAT LARGE TATTOOED MAN
Serena Deeb vs. Hikaru Shida: Maybe it's because they weren't given a ton of time to work with, maybe it's because the feud was taken completely off the stove for three weeks ahead of this (forget the backburner, ONLY ONE WOMEN'S PLOT AT A TIME), but this didn't hit nearly as hard as I hoping for the big climactic trilogy capper between these two. Still quite good, Serena getting fucked on the exposed turnbuckle so Shida could get the jackknife pin was a fun finish, but it wasn't even their best match?
MJF vs. Dante Martin for the Dynamite Diamond Ring: Fine! I'm just tired of this being the thing MJF wins every single year, makes it all feel kinda pointless, though if it's just to give him something big while keeping him out of the main title position, I'll take it. Still, a good showcase for Dante, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of his feud with Team Taz!
No Wardlow coming out with champagne in the aftermath was very interesting, but then the lights went out, and while I wasn't someone who NEEDED a big surprise debut from this show, having a big moment of suspense like this at the very end of your show creates expectations, you know? Especially with how much TK hyped it up as being bigger than last year's. So when the lights came back up and it was just Sting and Darby there to further their thing with FTR, woof, what a wet fart of an ending. WHATEVER, WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE REAL MAIN EVENT HERE WAS.
Oh also CM Punk ran out to clean house in a pro-choice t-shirt because he is just the DILFiest.
Young Bucks, Bobby Fish & Adam Cole vs. Orange Cassidy, Best Friends & Rocky Romero: Well this was a goddamn DELIGHT of a match. Finally pitting Orange against a fun bad guy that you don't mind seeing win is really bringing back the 'who gives a fuck' joy of his early nonsense before they pushed him into being more of a top guy. Plus TRENT!!! He's back in action!!! And he got his last name back, apparently!!! Am glad that Justin Roberts still pronounced the question mark in his name during introductions, though. Love that he got to do his big tag team finishers with both Chuck AND Rocky (who is REALLY making the most of his current American tour) before getting the pin. No more injuries for you, sir! You are back again and back you must stay! I really hope you don't turn on the whole gang because you're bitter over how they replaced you with Yuta while you got a cyborg neck put in! Although that does sound really fun!
Dan Lambert's back. Now Cody and Dustin are also involved. I guess that's one way to try to get crowds to cheer for you, Codester. This shit still sucks, and I mostly just played GardenScapes until it was over.
Tay Conti vs. Penelope Ford in a Submission Match: Short and sweet, with a fun stipulation, but uh... we're just going back to the Goth Murder Girlfriends vs. Goth Sunshine Girlfriends feud, huh? Just cuz? Why come up with any new stories for the division, right, YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE TOURNAMENT, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, GEEZ.
Lucha Brothers, Eddie Kingston, Santana & Ortiz vs. Daniel Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed: I was hoping for someone more interesting than the Acclaimed to fill those last two slots, since they had nothing to do with any of these guys until now, they just kinda felt like the generic heel team there to pad the body count going in, but damn, they really gave Bowens a lot of time to shine here! Good for him! Eddie getting to reunite with both his former Familia and LAX is very cool and sexy (all five of those guys entered AEW as heels, lol), and Daniel getting the win on him was a very fun surprise. Overall, I kinda think two giant multi-man matches in a single one-hour was a bit much, though (especially with women getting to represent just 10% of the wrestlers on said show). Guess they had to make up for only having eight wrestlers on Dynamite SOMEHOW. Looks like Jurassic Express will be Penta and Fenix's next challengers to the tag belts? That should fuck, even if this ending felt very random.
Okay, filing time. And then present brainstorming for my mom and brother.
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Also, YES, I never got the Plant Mom thing til I started gardening last year, and now I am full-on Poison Ivy over here.
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well
my own water bottle, anyway
And my PoGo trainer code is 5255 6407 4078~
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Mine is 6590 3623 4626, friend request send~