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Dynamite/Rampage (11.24.21/11.26.21)
wrestle wrestle cut cut, i have still not done any of the things i wanted to do
They seriously opened the show with a TWENTY FUCKING MINUTE exchange between MJF and CM Punk, holy shit. TWENTY MINUTES. And it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, certainly kept me engaged well enough (at least until they got into the weeds of WWE references that mostly went over my head), but Punk shut down all of Max's easy barbs and rambling shouty asides SO easily that it kinda just served as a long, drawn-out showcase of all MJF's weaknesses? Which I don't think was the point. Dreading him being the one to hand Punk his first loss in AEW a little bit tbh.
CM Punk vs. QT Marshall: This match went WAY longer than I expected it to once it became clear it just existed to set up that insane opening salvo with MJF, but that ties into the larger story being told of Punk struggling to beat even midcard opponents, which was nice. All together, this opening bout was almost a goddamn third of the entire show, what the fuck.
Fun Christian Express promo, furthering the vibe that Christian is slowly turning my good good jungle lads heel. Surely that will not take permanently, but damn if it isn't compelling shit.
Once again, Eddie delivers my favourite beat of the episode, just trying to eat some damn cake while 2point0 and Daniel Garcia bother him incessantly. I like that this feud is seemingly just based around two guys from New York randomly getting pissed off at each other because that's what they do.
Gunn Club vs. Bear Country: Quick and dirty little scrap to set up Gunn Club vs. Sting and Darby, and I'll be honest: I'm rooting for the Gunn Club. I know they don't stand a chance, but I'm still annoyed that Sting and Darby beat FTR and Colten's undefeated streak is one of the funniest things going, I will be very sad to see it end.
Adam Cole and Bobby Fish pick a fight with Chuck Taylor over the RIGHTS TO CALL SOMEBODY YOUR BEST FRIEND. And then Chuck isn't even gonna be in the fight that results, what a shit disturber, I love everything about this.
Team Taz sits down with Dante to formally offer him a contract and... he accepts!! Holy shit I did not see that coming! Very interesting that we don't really see how he got to there or what came after beyond Lio being just as bewildered as the rest of us; it really highlights how this is basically the first time Dante has really expressed ANY sort of agency in his entire arc here. He's just been passed from one partner to another without his brother, just going along with where things take him while others make all the decisions for him. Taz was actually the first guy to give him a choice, to ASK him what he wanted and give him time to think about his answer instead of pressuring him to just start tagging with his boys or giving him ultimatums. Framed like that, it makes perfect sense that he'd choose them over Lio, even if he's never shown heelish tendencies; it's a matter of respect. Still remains to be seen where Darius fits into the picture when he gets back, though.
Thunder Rosa vs. Jamie Hayter (TBS Championship Quarterfinals): Match of the fucking night, these two are both so fucking good. This was a FIGHT, just brutal and every moment of it looked GREAT. Also surprised that they're already leaning into the tension between Britt and Jamie, I thought they'd draw that out longer, Wardlow-style (but then again, this is the women's division, ain't nobody got time for THAT), but at least this way it shouldn't be a total rehash. Guessing Britt's gonna end up costing Rosa the win against Jade in the semis, taking her out the TBS title contention while still setting her up to be the next big world title challenger. Should be gooooooood~
Random bit where 2point0 accost Jericho for some reason? Because heaven forbid that man not insert himself into the story of whoever's hottest at the moment, sigh.
Fun little Friendsgiving bit with Britt and Tony which serves to deliver jUSTICE!! JUSTICE FOR RIHO AFTER SO LONG! SHE WAS NOT ELIMINATED FROM THE BATTLE ROYALE AT ALL OUT AND IT WAS BULLSHIT AND THEY'RE FINALLY ADDRESSING IT HOORAAAAAAAAY
Bryan Danielson vs. Colt Cabana: The American Dragon Murders Dark Order Members in Their Hometowns Part Two. He straight up KICKED COLT'S TEETH OUT OF HIS DAMN HEAD. Or at least a couple of crowns, FUCK. At first I was hoping it was just a gimmick, just for show, but the way he made sure to hang onto the teeth throughout his post-match promo instead of just tossing them into the crowd or something makes me think he was actually keeping them safe for Colt and it was legit, AGH. At least it got me rowdy, itching-for-a-fight Hangman, just looking for any opportunity to beat Danielson's ass that he can get. Winter cannot Come fast enough.
Cody Rhodes, PAC & The Lucha Brothers vs. Andrade El Idolo, Malakai Black & FTR: Well this was fun as shit, WOW. Just a long, action-packed string of cool spots, total 'WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING' sensory overload. At one point, Andrade's pants disappear over the course of a commercial break?? WHERE DID THEY GO?? I got Alex scrapping with Jose on the sidelines, my QVC warrior! They once against teased and Arn/Tully old man teamup! But by far the most interesting thing happening here was just how BRUTAL that Chicago crowd was to Cody, oh my god. This was the first time in this whole, delightful 'everyone hates Cody' ongoing non-heel turn that I actually felt a little bit bad for him, my god. He threw his weight belt into the crowd like always... and they THREW IT BACK. HOLY SHIT. After the match was over, Andrade DDTed him onto the entrance ramp and it got a 'YOU DESERVE IT' chant. Just the most absolute ice cold shit. SO curious to see what sort of reception he gets in Atlanta this week.
Orange Cassidy & Wheeler Yuta vs. Adam Cole & Bobby Fish: Very fun opener, Cole and Fish needed a decisive win and precious Yoots was more than game. All the Orange/Adam comedy bits were delightful, love Adam just desperately trying to be Mr. Serious WWE Wrestler Guy and getting sucked into the orbits of all this delightful shit. There were two specific moments where Yuta came off the top rope so cleanly and the camera was angled just right and it looked like he was dropping down from the ceiling, SO GOOD. And that avalanche Falcon Arrow Bobby won with? Nasty!
Tony Nese finally getting more than a Dark match, challenging Sammy for the TNT belt. I like that he established himself first, unlike some of the other hot new signings! Also his cheap shot to Sammy's fucked up ribs after being all honourable and shaking hands made me laugh quite a bit.
Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. vs. Riho in a Black Friday Deal Match: What is with all these weird holiday-themed matches Britt keeps getting that basically just mean 'eliminator match'. DON'T CARE, RIHO WON, SHE'S GETTING A TITLE SHOT, JUSTICE FOR ALL OUT JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE WINSSSSSSSSS!!! God, I popped so hard.
Daniel Garcia vs. Eddie Kingston: Match of the week? I'd have to rewatch both, but I think it narrowly edges out Rosa/Jamie, fuck this was a WAR. Actually, you know what? I think I will rewatch both, as a treat (and then turn this one off before the Jericho run-in afterward because uuuuuuuuuugh). Good-bye!
They seriously opened the show with a TWENTY FUCKING MINUTE exchange between MJF and CM Punk, holy shit. TWENTY MINUTES. And it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, certainly kept me engaged well enough (at least until they got into the weeds of WWE references that mostly went over my head), but Punk shut down all of Max's easy barbs and rambling shouty asides SO easily that it kinda just served as a long, drawn-out showcase of all MJF's weaknesses? Which I don't think was the point. Dreading him being the one to hand Punk his first loss in AEW a little bit tbh.
CM Punk vs. QT Marshall: This match went WAY longer than I expected it to once it became clear it just existed to set up that insane opening salvo with MJF, but that ties into the larger story being told of Punk struggling to beat even midcard opponents, which was nice. All together, this opening bout was almost a goddamn third of the entire show, what the fuck.
Fun Christian Express promo, furthering the vibe that Christian is slowly turning my good good jungle lads heel. Surely that will not take permanently, but damn if it isn't compelling shit.
Once again, Eddie delivers my favourite beat of the episode, just trying to eat some damn cake while 2point0 and Daniel Garcia bother him incessantly. I like that this feud is seemingly just based around two guys from New York randomly getting pissed off at each other because that's what they do.
Gunn Club vs. Bear Country: Quick and dirty little scrap to set up Gunn Club vs. Sting and Darby, and I'll be honest: I'm rooting for the Gunn Club. I know they don't stand a chance, but I'm still annoyed that Sting and Darby beat FTR and Colten's undefeated streak is one of the funniest things going, I will be very sad to see it end.
Adam Cole and Bobby Fish pick a fight with Chuck Taylor over the RIGHTS TO CALL SOMEBODY YOUR BEST FRIEND. And then Chuck isn't even gonna be in the fight that results, what a shit disturber, I love everything about this.
Team Taz sits down with Dante to formally offer him a contract and... he accepts!! Holy shit I did not see that coming! Very interesting that we don't really see how he got to there or what came after beyond Lio being just as bewildered as the rest of us; it really highlights how this is basically the first time Dante has really expressed ANY sort of agency in his entire arc here. He's just been passed from one partner to another without his brother, just going along with where things take him while others make all the decisions for him. Taz was actually the first guy to give him a choice, to ASK him what he wanted and give him time to think about his answer instead of pressuring him to just start tagging with his boys or giving him ultimatums. Framed like that, it makes perfect sense that he'd choose them over Lio, even if he's never shown heelish tendencies; it's a matter of respect. Still remains to be seen where Darius fits into the picture when he gets back, though.
Thunder Rosa vs. Jamie Hayter (TBS Championship Quarterfinals): Match of the fucking night, these two are both so fucking good. This was a FIGHT, just brutal and every moment of it looked GREAT. Also surprised that they're already leaning into the tension between Britt and Jamie, I thought they'd draw that out longer, Wardlow-style (but then again, this is the women's division, ain't nobody got time for THAT), but at least this way it shouldn't be a total rehash. Guessing Britt's gonna end up costing Rosa the win against Jade in the semis, taking her out the TBS title contention while still setting her up to be the next big world title challenger. Should be gooooooood~
Random bit where 2point0 accost Jericho for some reason? Because heaven forbid that man not insert himself into the story of whoever's hottest at the moment, sigh.
Fun little Friendsgiving bit with Britt and Tony which serves to deliver jUSTICE!! JUSTICE FOR RIHO AFTER SO LONG! SHE WAS NOT ELIMINATED FROM THE BATTLE ROYALE AT ALL OUT AND IT WAS BULLSHIT AND THEY'RE FINALLY ADDRESSING IT HOORAAAAAAAAY
Bryan Danielson vs. Colt Cabana: The American Dragon Murders Dark Order Members in Their Hometowns Part Two. He straight up KICKED COLT'S TEETH OUT OF HIS DAMN HEAD. Or at least a couple of crowns, FUCK. At first I was hoping it was just a gimmick, just for show, but the way he made sure to hang onto the teeth throughout his post-match promo instead of just tossing them into the crowd or something makes me think he was actually keeping them safe for Colt and it was legit, AGH. At least it got me rowdy, itching-for-a-fight Hangman, just looking for any opportunity to beat Danielson's ass that he can get. Winter cannot Come fast enough.
Cody Rhodes, PAC & The Lucha Brothers vs. Andrade El Idolo, Malakai Black & FTR: Well this was fun as shit, WOW. Just a long, action-packed string of cool spots, total 'WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING' sensory overload. At one point, Andrade's pants disappear over the course of a commercial break?? WHERE DID THEY GO?? I got Alex scrapping with Jose on the sidelines, my QVC warrior! They once against teased and Arn/Tully old man teamup! But by far the most interesting thing happening here was just how BRUTAL that Chicago crowd was to Cody, oh my god. This was the first time in this whole, delightful 'everyone hates Cody' ongoing non-heel turn that I actually felt a little bit bad for him, my god. He threw his weight belt into the crowd like always... and they THREW IT BACK. HOLY SHIT. After the match was over, Andrade DDTed him onto the entrance ramp and it got a 'YOU DESERVE IT' chant. Just the most absolute ice cold shit. SO curious to see what sort of reception he gets in Atlanta this week.
Orange Cassidy & Wheeler Yuta vs. Adam Cole & Bobby Fish: Very fun opener, Cole and Fish needed a decisive win and precious Yoots was more than game. All the Orange/Adam comedy bits were delightful, love Adam just desperately trying to be Mr. Serious WWE Wrestler Guy and getting sucked into the orbits of all this delightful shit. There were two specific moments where Yuta came off the top rope so cleanly and the camera was angled just right and it looked like he was dropping down from the ceiling, SO GOOD. And that avalanche Falcon Arrow Bobby won with? Nasty!
Tony Nese finally getting more than a Dark match, challenging Sammy for the TNT belt. I like that he established himself first, unlike some of the other hot new signings! Also his cheap shot to Sammy's fucked up ribs after being all honourable and shaking hands made me laugh quite a bit.
Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. vs. Riho in a Black Friday Deal Match: What is with all these weird holiday-themed matches Britt keeps getting that basically just mean 'eliminator match'. DON'T CARE, RIHO WON, SHE'S GETTING A TITLE SHOT, JUSTICE FOR ALL OUT JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE WINSSSSSSSSS!!! God, I popped so hard.
Daniel Garcia vs. Eddie Kingston: Match of the week? I'd have to rewatch both, but I think it narrowly edges out Rosa/Jamie, fuck this was a WAR. Actually, you know what? I think I will rewatch both, as a treat (and then turn this one off before the Jericho run-in afterward because uuuuuuuuuugh). Good-bye!