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Dynamite Grand Slam (09.22.21)
Have brought a spare pair of runners to work as an experiment; maybe I keep them here and change out of my boots when I get in? Then my feet can be nice and light for 12 hours a day, but I don't immediately ruin them with a twice-daily trudge/freeze my sodden feet in winter. Best of all worlds? I will have to get used to buying actual shoes on the regular, though. Maybe I can find something with a nice platform heel on them as a compromise.
Speaking of freezing, somebody on the other shift stole my little space heater and I am DISPLEASED. Being cold all the time is good for weight loss, right? RIGHT?
Walked to work under a big white moon this morning, the sun is gone on that end, but it's still close enough to the horizon for it to be fairly light out. The sunsets at day's end have been stunning, so I think this is the last nice week in that regard before I trundle on into the darkness of winter. Enjoying it while I can!
ANYWAY, it's a new day and I'm still riding HIGH on Grand Slam last night, that shit truly felt like the first half of a fantastic pay-per-view, and I'm losing my shit waiting for the rest of it tomorrow night!!!*
*even though I will almost certainly have to do some creative sleeping and watch it Saturday morning before work because that shit is two hours long this week, gah
First of all, I don't think I ever want to see a big wrestling show held somewhere other than a massive tennis stadium again?? It looked amazing, it sounded amazing, why don't they hold more events in places like Arthur Ashe??? Also fuck I've loved the LED ramp since Revolution last year, I hope they keep bringing it back.
Kenny Omega vs. Brian Danielson: My GOD, this venue. My GOD, this crowd. My GOD, this match. My head is still fucking SPINNING from this perfect fucking storm of a MOTY contender. These two had insane expectations to live up to, and by GOD, they did it. I need to sit down and rewatch this soon, because those thirty minutes just FLEW by and somehow balanced crazy shit with the vibe that they were both definitely holding a lot back? I didn't even HEAR the 5- and 1-minute warnings because the crowd was just such a wall of noise (they did their best to get the YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN chant in, though, ha) and then it was just OVER, goddamn. The state of Brian's chest even just halfway in was fucking gruesome looking, jesus hell. And can I SCREAM FOR A HOT MINUTE about Kenny trying and failing to hit the Phoenix Splash AGAIN??? Even after all this time, he's subconsciously trying to tie himself to Kota, and all it continues to do is leave him in pain on the ground. Kota broke his heart, and now he's trying to do the same thing to Matt to make himself feel better (as seen by how quickly he rushes the ring afterwards to save Kenny from that Labell Lock despite how shabbily Kenny has been treating him for like a year now), but it's not enough. It will never be enough. Only Kota will ever be enough.
HA HA BOY, WHAT A MATCH. Brian Danielson hype: lived up to. Good for him. I was slightly more whelmed by CM Punk coming out yet again to just talk to the crowd for a while even though he's fighting later in the night, but it's their biggest one ever, and he endeared me with how the promo was just about how darn happy he is to be there, so I'll allow it. Happy Punk! But angy punk also lurks >:[
MJF vs. Brian Pillman Jr.: A nice little cooldown match after that BLAZING HOT opener, both guys get in there and do their jobs well. Pillman's still very much a lower-card guy who gets a boost to mid because of who his dad was, but this feud was a nice little showcase for him, and I'm looking forward to seeing him continue to grow! Also even I, the person pushing for more intergender violence whenever possible because come the fuck on it's all pretend anyway and treating it like some big taboo in this extremely weird heightened kayfabe world only serves to other the women and make them seem just naturally weaker than men, gasped in affront when MJF grabbed Julia Hart's wrist. HOW DARE!!!
And then Chris Jericho and Jake Hager cut promos on Dan Lambert and the Men of the Year and I fully just let myself space out until it was over, holy fuck there is no situation where I could care less about this. Please rescue Ethan from this hell plot after this fight.
Cody Rhodes vs. Malakai Black: "Wow, a dream match between Kenny and that guy from the last WrestleMania AND a fantastic women's title main event? Which one was your favourite, Leshia?" "Oh, the fucking Cody match in the middle." HA HA WHAT THE FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY, IT WAS ALL FOR ME. Obviously, Black's ridiculous dramatic entrance continues to rule, the increasing corruption creeping across his face through makeup remains shockingly gripping to watch (RED EYE!!!!), and then right when I was ready to roll my eyes at Cody's shit again, he comes out in FULL HOMELANDER COSPLAY WITH A THIRTY-FOOT CAPE. And like, I have wanted for SO LONG to believe that Cody is self-aware of how he comes across in 2021, but ever since that Ogogo match it has been HARD. This finally convinced me that he gets it. If he didn't before, he certainly does now, twenty thousand New Yorkers did not just start booing him out of nowhere (OH MY GOD THE ACOUSTICS OF THAT PLACE AMPLIFYING THE BOOS, SO SATISFYING) and he is officially leaning into it and it rules, actually?? Before, when he was just coming out in his AMURRCA jacket to a titantron full of American flags and soldiers to beat the EVIL BRIT and having 'I'm gonna run for Congress soon' photoshoots with his pregnant wife and naming his daughter LIBERTY while tearing up talking about freedom, it was just... uncomfortable, because it was unclear how much was earnest and how much was self-parody. This, though? That cape was CLEARLY self-parody, even before all the heel turn teases in the match itself (LOVED ALL OF THOSE, TOO) and it induces SO much less squirming as a result. I JUST WANT NEW JAPAN/ROH HORNY ANIME VILLAIN CODY BACK. I think he may finally be coming??? PLEASE. I just remember seeing Malakai lying slightly under the ring and asking 'whatcha doing down there, buddy?' with the biggest grin on my face before the black mist finish and I'm just. I'm so happy. Everything about this made me so happy. No more Batman booking for Cody, and also then I found Malakai's Instagram for his seven cats and literally nothing could be better???
Sammy vs. Miro for the TNT title next week. Should be gud. Surely it'd be this week if Sammy was winning, though.
FTR vs. Sting & Darby Allin: I kinda spent most of this match with one eye on the time to make sure the main event wouldn't be rushed, sorry boys. I'm kinda over Sting and Darby winning all of their matches? Like I get it, this is almost certainly Sting's last run, send him out on a high note, but maaaaan, against an actual tag team, former CHAMPS even, like FTR? I don't love it! Still, he looked great; I remember when he first started teasing that match with Team Taz and I was horrified every time he took a bump like his bones were about to crumble into dust and he has proved me wrong and then some, so (obviously Darby and FTR play big roles in making him still look solid in the ring, too). I still want him to have an old man fight with Tully, though.
Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. (c) vs. Ruby Soho for the AEW Women's World Championship: The cynical part of me knows that the women only got to main event the biggest Dynamite ever because they wanted to make sure Kenny/Brian got the full thirty minutes they needed, but fuck that part of me, this fuckin' ruled!!! Wholly deserved, and I love everyone in this bar, even if it didn't quite hit some of the highs of the other two big matches of the night for me. Ruby has been such a fantastic shot in the arm for Britt's underwhelming reign, and I really hope this momentum follows them both and isn't allowed to just peter out again. Also, Ruby needs a better finisher, the Riott Kick is a neat signature move to bust out, but just doesn't look like a game ender to me.
WHAT A GREAT FUCKING SHOW, EVEN WITHOUT A TRIUMPHANT HANGMAN RETURN. I AM GONNA VIBRATE RIGHT OUT OF MY SKIN WAITING FOR THE MOXIE/SUZUKI-GUN LIGHTS OUT MATCH ON FRIDAY.
Need to remember to bring a fresh thing of hand sanitizer tomorrow, I keep forgetting and having to use the horrible industrial shit they provide for us. Also maybe the shoelace magnets off of my last pair of (now dead) boots so that I can lace this work shoe experiment up properly.
Speaking of freezing, somebody on the other shift stole my little space heater and I am DISPLEASED. Being cold all the time is good for weight loss, right? RIGHT?
Walked to work under a big white moon this morning, the sun is gone on that end, but it's still close enough to the horizon for it to be fairly light out. The sunsets at day's end have been stunning, so I think this is the last nice week in that regard before I trundle on into the darkness of winter. Enjoying it while I can!
ANYWAY, it's a new day and I'm still riding HIGH on Grand Slam last night, that shit truly felt like the first half of a fantastic pay-per-view, and I'm losing my shit waiting for the rest of it tomorrow night!!!*
*even though I will almost certainly have to do some creative sleeping and watch it Saturday morning before work because that shit is two hours long this week, gah
First of all, I don't think I ever want to see a big wrestling show held somewhere other than a massive tennis stadium again?? It looked amazing, it sounded amazing, why don't they hold more events in places like Arthur Ashe??? Also fuck I've loved the LED ramp since Revolution last year, I hope they keep bringing it back.
Kenny Omega vs. Brian Danielson: My GOD, this venue. My GOD, this crowd. My GOD, this match. My head is still fucking SPINNING from this perfect fucking storm of a MOTY contender. These two had insane expectations to live up to, and by GOD, they did it. I need to sit down and rewatch this soon, because those thirty minutes just FLEW by and somehow balanced crazy shit with the vibe that they were both definitely holding a lot back? I didn't even HEAR the 5- and 1-minute warnings because the crowd was just such a wall of noise (they did their best to get the YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN chant in, though, ha) and then it was just OVER, goddamn. The state of Brian's chest even just halfway in was fucking gruesome looking, jesus hell. And can I SCREAM FOR A HOT MINUTE about Kenny trying and failing to hit the Phoenix Splash AGAIN??? Even after all this time, he's subconsciously trying to tie himself to Kota, and all it continues to do is leave him in pain on the ground. Kota broke his heart, and now he's trying to do the same thing to Matt to make himself feel better (as seen by how quickly he rushes the ring afterwards to save Kenny from that Labell Lock despite how shabbily Kenny has been treating him for like a year now), but it's not enough. It will never be enough. Only Kota will ever be enough.
HA HA BOY, WHAT A MATCH. Brian Danielson hype: lived up to. Good for him. I was slightly more whelmed by CM Punk coming out yet again to just talk to the crowd for a while even though he's fighting later in the night, but it's their biggest one ever, and he endeared me with how the promo was just about how darn happy he is to be there, so I'll allow it. Happy Punk! But angy punk also lurks >:[
MJF vs. Brian Pillman Jr.: A nice little cooldown match after that BLAZING HOT opener, both guys get in there and do their jobs well. Pillman's still very much a lower-card guy who gets a boost to mid because of who his dad was, but this feud was a nice little showcase for him, and I'm looking forward to seeing him continue to grow! Also even I, the person pushing for more intergender violence whenever possible because come the fuck on it's all pretend anyway and treating it like some big taboo in this extremely weird heightened kayfabe world only serves to other the women and make them seem just naturally weaker than men, gasped in affront when MJF grabbed Julia Hart's wrist. HOW DARE!!!
And then Chris Jericho and Jake Hager cut promos on Dan Lambert and the Men of the Year and I fully just let myself space out until it was over, holy fuck there is no situation where I could care less about this. Please rescue Ethan from this hell plot after this fight.
Cody Rhodes vs. Malakai Black: "Wow, a dream match between Kenny and that guy from the last WrestleMania AND a fantastic women's title main event? Which one was your favourite, Leshia?" "Oh, the fucking Cody match in the middle." HA HA WHAT THE FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY, IT WAS ALL FOR ME. Obviously, Black's ridiculous dramatic entrance continues to rule, the increasing corruption creeping across his face through makeup remains shockingly gripping to watch (RED EYE!!!!), and then right when I was ready to roll my eyes at Cody's shit again, he comes out in FULL HOMELANDER COSPLAY WITH A THIRTY-FOOT CAPE. And like, I have wanted for SO LONG to believe that Cody is self-aware of how he comes across in 2021, but ever since that Ogogo match it has been HARD. This finally convinced me that he gets it. If he didn't before, he certainly does now, twenty thousand New Yorkers did not just start booing him out of nowhere (OH MY GOD THE ACOUSTICS OF THAT PLACE AMPLIFYING THE BOOS, SO SATISFYING) and he is officially leaning into it and it rules, actually?? Before, when he was just coming out in his AMURRCA jacket to a titantron full of American flags and soldiers to beat the EVIL BRIT and having 'I'm gonna run for Congress soon' photoshoots with his pregnant wife and naming his daughter LIBERTY while tearing up talking about freedom, it was just... uncomfortable, because it was unclear how much was earnest and how much was self-parody. This, though? That cape was CLEARLY self-parody, even before all the heel turn teases in the match itself (LOVED ALL OF THOSE, TOO) and it induces SO much less squirming as a result. I JUST WANT NEW JAPAN/ROH HORNY ANIME VILLAIN CODY BACK. I think he may finally be coming??? PLEASE. I just remember seeing Malakai lying slightly under the ring and asking 'whatcha doing down there, buddy?' with the biggest grin on my face before the black mist finish and I'm just. I'm so happy. Everything about this made me so happy. No more Batman booking for Cody, and also then I found Malakai's Instagram for his seven cats and literally nothing could be better???
Sammy vs. Miro for the TNT title next week. Should be gud. Surely it'd be this week if Sammy was winning, though.
FTR vs. Sting & Darby Allin: I kinda spent most of this match with one eye on the time to make sure the main event wouldn't be rushed, sorry boys. I'm kinda over Sting and Darby winning all of their matches? Like I get it, this is almost certainly Sting's last run, send him out on a high note, but maaaaan, against an actual tag team, former CHAMPS even, like FTR? I don't love it! Still, he looked great; I remember when he first started teasing that match with Team Taz and I was horrified every time he took a bump like his bones were about to crumble into dust and he has proved me wrong and then some, so (obviously Darby and FTR play big roles in making him still look solid in the ring, too). I still want him to have an old man fight with Tully, though.
Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. (c) vs. Ruby Soho for the AEW Women's World Championship: The cynical part of me knows that the women only got to main event the biggest Dynamite ever because they wanted to make sure Kenny/Brian got the full thirty minutes they needed, but fuck that part of me, this fuckin' ruled!!! Wholly deserved, and I love everyone in this bar, even if it didn't quite hit some of the highs of the other two big matches of the night for me. Ruby has been such a fantastic shot in the arm for Britt's underwhelming reign, and I really hope this momentum follows them both and isn't allowed to just peter out again. Also, Ruby needs a better finisher, the Riott Kick is a neat signature move to bust out, but just doesn't look like a game ender to me.
WHAT A GREAT FUCKING SHOW, EVEN WITHOUT A TRIUMPHANT HANGMAN RETURN. I AM GONNA VIBRATE RIGHT OUT OF MY SKIN WAITING FOR THE MOXIE/SUZUKI-GUN LIGHTS OUT MATCH ON FRIDAY.
Need to remember to bring a fresh thing of hand sanitizer tomorrow, I keep forgetting and having to use the horrible industrial shit they provide for us. Also maybe the shoelace magnets off of my last pair of (now dead) boots so that I can lace this work shoe experiment up properly.