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Rampage (08.27.2021)
It's the freaking weekend! All of the managers got moved back to regular 9-5 M-F hours, so there's much less pressure on me to at least look busy for the next two days, which is nice. Everyone around me complains about being bored and boggling about how I can possibly stand having so little work to do/so little human contact, and all I can ever do is shrug. Guess I'm just built different!
Hand sanitizer on paper cuts is the second greatest scourge of my workplace existence, right after air conditioner abuse.
More wrestling happened. 'Twas good.
Jurassic Express vs. Lucha Brothers (AEW World Tag Team Championship Eliminator Tournament Final): SO GOOD. Match of the week, easily. Flippy shit, Fenix being Fenix, plenty of crazy near-falls, just a really great, intense time. You know it had to be good to wake up that middling Milwaukee crowd, lol, but seriously, this ruled. Possibly in my top five tag matches this year? Also liked that they didn't try to heel up the Lucha Bros and leaned into so much of this tournament just being nice guys wrestling each other and shaking hands before and after. Between this and their title shot against the Bucks, I cannot remember Jurassic Express EVER looking this good as a duo, you love to see it, and I am gonna fucking love to see the Lucha Bros and the Bucks going at in a fucking cage match, JUST OVER A WEEK TO ALL OUT.
I really like Rampage keeping to the boom-boom-boom match-match-match format (with the occasional deviation for special events like Punk) because the show goes by SO quickly, so I was a little skeptical about Miro coming out to do Miro things, but oh man, I loved this whole segment (and it was all in-ring, so it kept that MEAT ON THE BONES, NO FLUFF vibe that I like). Fuego being the new beloved guy to beat up to get heat is great, Miro unmasking him was awful and shocking (never mind that he's constantly forgetting to wear the thing on Sammy's vlog, lol), Eddie coming out to save him made some VERY high pitched noises come out of me, Bryce trying to calm Eddie down after the scuffle was adorable, everything about this made me so happy. Hearing Eddie's music makes me happy since he's been teaming with Mox so much lately (WILD THING), also that exploder suplex on such a big fucking dude was beautiful. Also, between Miro's "reveal your face to the Lord" and Eddie's everything, the whole thing was very hot in a very particular way that scratches very strange Catholic itches and I don't want to talk about it! Moving on!
(Wait, one more thing, commentary was selling the DDT as Miro's Achilles Heel or something, which felt like it came out of nowhere, but then I thought about it and A) it'd explain how Fuego was able to get three tornados off of him before he finally got going into smashy monster mode, B) wasn't that how Orange dropped him back at Arcade Anarchy, literally his only loss in AEW to date? I doubt it was on purpose, but if they're setting up a cool way for Eddie to be the one to take him down, I'LL TAKE IT)
Tay Conti vs. The Bunny: Very nice! Fast paced and Tay's always a good hard hitter, and while the ending was a bit of a bummer, I don't mind the Bunny tying up the series between these two for a potential rematch down the line. I was thinking during this match that something like the upcoming Battle Royale really emphasizes the problems with being the lone woman in a big sausagefest faction like the H.F.O., where you just don't have the allies in-ring that the guys would have in a similar situation, and then they immediately threw her a Penelope-shaped bone, love to see it! Except now I'm DOUBLY expecting a surprise Anna return, so she can swoop in to rescue Tay from the extremely blonde beatdown that is now awaiting her.
Hype package for Cage v. Hobbs trying to sell me on how personal it is is not very successful, but I am looking forward to seeing some meat slapping meat nonetheless. Meanwhile the OTHER Cage looks so fucking cool with that Impact belt over his shoulder and Kaz in his corner. They just look so cool! Even if Kaz's hoodie still looks like it says FAG.
Kenny Omega & Brandon Cutler vs. Christian Cage & Frankie Kazarian: Very silly, very chaotic, and very fun. It's clear that they're booking Rampage to have the best match or most important angle first and then tapering off through the night, probably because it's on so late, and it's an interesting change of pace. I don't hate it! I like that it continues to feel different from Dynamite in various ways (other than Jericho screaming at me on commentary oh my gooooooood please either get better or get out). Brandon Cutler secret MVP of the Heelite. As much as I miss him being a good good dragon boy and the main character of Dark, he is rocking his new role as big ridiculous cartoon character stooge and I wish him the world.
NWA Empowerrr PPV tonight, GONNA WATCH A TINY LESBIAN TRY TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN.
I'm thinking Japanese today.
Hand sanitizer on paper cuts is the second greatest scourge of my workplace existence, right after air conditioner abuse.
More wrestling happened. 'Twas good.
Jurassic Express vs. Lucha Brothers (AEW World Tag Team Championship Eliminator Tournament Final): SO GOOD. Match of the week, easily. Flippy shit, Fenix being Fenix, plenty of crazy near-falls, just a really great, intense time. You know it had to be good to wake up that middling Milwaukee crowd, lol, but seriously, this ruled. Possibly in my top five tag matches this year? Also liked that they didn't try to heel up the Lucha Bros and leaned into so much of this tournament just being nice guys wrestling each other and shaking hands before and after. Between this and their title shot against the Bucks, I cannot remember Jurassic Express EVER looking this good as a duo, you love to see it, and I am gonna fucking love to see the Lucha Bros and the Bucks going at in a fucking cage match, JUST OVER A WEEK TO ALL OUT.
I really like Rampage keeping to the boom-boom-boom match-match-match format (with the occasional deviation for special events like Punk) because the show goes by SO quickly, so I was a little skeptical about Miro coming out to do Miro things, but oh man, I loved this whole segment (and it was all in-ring, so it kept that MEAT ON THE BONES, NO FLUFF vibe that I like). Fuego being the new beloved guy to beat up to get heat is great, Miro unmasking him was awful and shocking (never mind that he's constantly forgetting to wear the thing on Sammy's vlog, lol), Eddie coming out to save him made some VERY high pitched noises come out of me, Bryce trying to calm Eddie down after the scuffle was adorable, everything about this made me so happy. Hearing Eddie's music makes me happy since he's been teaming with Mox so much lately (WILD THING), also that exploder suplex on such a big fucking dude was beautiful. Also, between Miro's "reveal your face to the Lord" and Eddie's everything, the whole thing was very hot in a very particular way that scratches very strange Catholic itches and I don't want to talk about it! Moving on!
(Wait, one more thing, commentary was selling the DDT as Miro's Achilles Heel or something, which felt like it came out of nowhere, but then I thought about it and A) it'd explain how Fuego was able to get three tornados off of him before he finally got going into smashy monster mode, B) wasn't that how Orange dropped him back at Arcade Anarchy, literally his only loss in AEW to date? I doubt it was on purpose, but if they're setting up a cool way for Eddie to be the one to take him down, I'LL TAKE IT)
Tay Conti vs. The Bunny: Very nice! Fast paced and Tay's always a good hard hitter, and while the ending was a bit of a bummer, I don't mind the Bunny tying up the series between these two for a potential rematch down the line. I was thinking during this match that something like the upcoming Battle Royale really emphasizes the problems with being the lone woman in a big sausagefest faction like the H.F.O., where you just don't have the allies in-ring that the guys would have in a similar situation, and then they immediately threw her a Penelope-shaped bone, love to see it! Except now I'm DOUBLY expecting a surprise Anna return, so she can swoop in to rescue Tay from the extremely blonde beatdown that is now awaiting her.
Hype package for Cage v. Hobbs trying to sell me on how personal it is is not very successful, but I am looking forward to seeing some meat slapping meat nonetheless. Meanwhile the OTHER Cage looks so fucking cool with that Impact belt over his shoulder and Kaz in his corner. They just look so cool! Even if Kaz's hoodie still looks like it says FAG.
Kenny Omega & Brandon Cutler vs. Christian Cage & Frankie Kazarian: Very silly, very chaotic, and very fun. It's clear that they're booking Rampage to have the best match or most important angle first and then tapering off through the night, probably because it's on so late, and it's an interesting change of pace. I don't hate it! I like that it continues to feel different from Dynamite in various ways (other than Jericho screaming at me on commentary oh my gooooooood please either get better or get out). Brandon Cutler secret MVP of the Heelite. As much as I miss him being a good good dragon boy and the main character of Dark, he is rocking his new role as big ridiculous cartoon character stooge and I wish him the world.
NWA Empowerrr PPV tonight, GONNA WATCH A TINY LESBIAN TRY TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN.
I'm thinking Japanese today.