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Dynamite/The First Dance (08.18.21 - 08.20.21)
And just like that, my week is almost over. I'm borderline panicking about it, but not quite, so instead of trying to cram as much as possible in my last remaining day, I'm just gonna fuck around on DW and ramble about wrestling for a bit. I can finish cleaning tomorrow. Today I got a goddamn root canal. Really trying to drill it into my head that just chilling is okay.
Also ate way too much at supper, feel kinda oogy in addition to general mouth malaise, and maybe I should just go to bed instead? Try to get ready for going to bed early tomorrow night? But I don't wanna, so there.
2.0 and Garcia jumping Mox and Eddie at the top of the show felt like a very random way to set up the Rampage main event (why would Mox and Eddie be opening the show? what were they even gonna talk about?), but I like those guys enough not to mind a little bit of cheap heat while they're still getting settled in.
Darby Allin & Sting vs. 2.0 in a Texas Tornado Tag Match: Very fun! Sting continues to impress for a dude in his fucking sixties, Darby took some hilarious looking bumps (the slam onto the underside of the skateboard and the part where they launched him directly into the fucking concourse roof overhang were my favourites), plenty of chaos with the guys on the sidelines, overall just a messy, chaotic opener with a lot of great energy to start the show with.
Shawn Spears vs. Sammy Guevara: This was a solid match for a feud that's grown pretty stale, but obviously the important takeaway was that Sammy and (former BTE Champion) Pam are engaged, aww! Good for them!
Fun Christian bit in the back, he looks real good with those Impact belts (though he finally retired the extraneous TNA one on Impact last week) and I appreciate the heck out of everyone who calls Don a carny piece of shit.
I don't give a shit about this Dan Lambert guy and his un-PC anti-woke snowflake schtick, however knowingly ironic, is just miserable and exhausting to sit through! I guess they're finally getting back to Lance feuding with the Disneyland Boyfriends now?
Young Bucks (c) vs. Jurassic Express for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: Match of the night, holy shit what a banger! I don't know why I was surprised by that, obviously I like everyone involved, and the Bucks just churn out great matches, but this was easily Jurassic Express' best showing as a tag team all year. SO GOOD. This is the first time I think I've ever really seen Jurassic Express as legitimate options for future tag champs, they absolutely killed it. Still waiting on the Elite to self-destruct so they can't keep overwhelming and winning all their matches through sheer force of numbers.
Nice interview with Britt where we get a proper look at Jamie as her new heater. Looking forward to seeing what her new buff self is capable of!
The loooooooong Big Show/QT segment that happens here would have chafed less if it wasn't right before the lone women's match, completely devoid of any plot or stakes beyond shuffling the top 5 rankings (which is more than usual!). At least they bothered to set up the next two matches for the division before and after (Hayter vs. Velvet in the Britt segment, Jade vs. Kiera in the random Jade bit that followed). The bar to clear is back on the ground.
Random bits with the Elite (Young Bucks cage match at All Out? it's GOTTA be the Lucha Bros. winning this tournament), Team Taz (give me big babyface Brian all damn day), and Andrade (please get a good match out of him PAC). Eh.
Penelope Ford vs. Thunder Rosa: Still a fucking banger. The women continually get crumbs to work with and build whole ass gingerbread mansions out of them. Frustrating!! Also I think Penelope's luggage got lost on the flight to Chicago, because that was NOT her gear, those were just like... clothes, lol.
Brock Anderson calling out Malakai and lol aww, I'm gonna miss that little forty-something-ass-looking kid. What is it about Cody that makes his fellow second-generation nepotism talents throw themselves into hails of gunfire to defend his honour? We STILL haven't seen Austin since Ogogo punched his soul out through his liver months ago!
Whatever, MIRO IS CALLING OUT EDDIE THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL I NEED IT IN MY VEINS, AND they followed it with a fantaaaaaaaastic Mox promo, like my GOD this man is so weird and hypnotic when he's in his groove. So so good.
MJF vs. Chris Jericho, The Five Labors of Jericho: Chapter 5 (No Judas Entrance and No Judas Effect): At least it's fucking over, woof. This was FINE, but I was over it ages ago and the Nick Gage match is the only part of it I particularly cared about. Beyond that, it was just a rehash of MJF's feud with Cody, right up to the big loss for the ostensible good guy after they jumped through all of MJF's tedious hoops in order to get to fight him. I thought that it was originally supposed to be five labours and THEN he gets to fight MJF, presumably at All Out, I wonder if they cut it short? Whatever, at least it gets Jericho out of my hair for a little while.
Obviously, the big story of Rampage this week was CM Punk's return to the ring, which is something I don't really have much to say about? His superstardom fell squarely in the years I was not paying attention to wrestling, all I know is that he's kinda been wrestling's ex-boyfriend that they really loved but parted with on unsatisfying terms and have always kinda wanted to win back even as they knew it was probably never gonna happen because he was doing way better without them. Also the constant hype and rumours of him maybe returning made me sick of him months before any of said rumours were remotely credible! But here we are, and I'd be lying if I said the excitement and emotion of the moment wasn't infectious. Dude cuts a good promo and he apparently bought thousands of people ice cream sandwiches with his own money for the occasion! I guess we'll see if he can still go in the ring after all these years away! Darby trying not to smile up in the rafters as he got called out was very endearing.
Anyway that literally took up nearly half of the entire hour-long show, so the matches that followed were all VERY truncated, but I nevertheless love that they used this night, where they knew TONS of eyes were going to be on them because of the big historic Punk return, to showcase some of their younger and/or greener talent instead of just trotting out the big stars.
Private Party vs. Jurassic Express (AEW World Tag Team Championship Eliminator Tournament Semifinal): No surprise that Jurassic Express took the win here after their fantastic showing against the Bucks on Wednesday. Big surprise when Jungle Boy's ass came out to say hello!!
Jade Cargill vs. Kiera Hogan: This was a straight-up squash match because heaven forbid the women have more than the absolute bare minimum of screen time lol THEY HAD THE MAIN EVENT LAST WEEK, SURELY THAT IS ENOUGH FOR A WHILE, RIGHT? Still, I'm always grateful whenever Jade actually wrestles instead of just runs her mouth (and since she's still so inexperienced, these quick squashes are a good way of showcasing her without exposing her weaknesses), and I'm very happy to see Kiera get such a high profile appearance, even if she didn't get to do much except die. On the one hand, yeah, you could say she went from being a champion over at Impact to being a jobber at AEW, but on the other hand, she's also gone from wrestling in an empty fucking bunker streamed online at Impact to wrestling in front of packed arenas of fifteen thousand people on national television at AEW. Upgrade? Downgrade? I don't know, but I'm happy for her and hope she gets signed!
Jon Moxley vs. Daniel Garcia: The strongest evidence that the CM Punk segment went longer than intended, since there is no WAY this match was originally booked to last all of six minutes, not with how hard they've been pushing Garcia. He tapped out Matt Sydal on Elevation, for god's sake! Still, they made the absolute most of their limited time, and this absolutely slapped. Mox cut another killer promo beforehand, and his entrance with Eddie made me realize how much I desperately want the two of them as heels together??? Loved the finish here, with Mox basically calling his shot beforehand and then just letting it play out while ALSO tying into how Garcia put away Sydal, Mox anticipating the same submission finish and rolling out of it really creatively. I'm curious how the impending Mox heel turn (I feel it in my jellies, it's been coming ever since he lost the IWGP US title to Lance) is going to manifest with them continuing to push the feud with Garcia and 2.0. Maybe he and Eddie turn on Darby and Sting after finally putting the new guys away once and for all? I'm here for it however it goes!
AEW four fucking nights a week now, who needs real life?
Also ate way too much at supper, feel kinda oogy in addition to general mouth malaise, and maybe I should just go to bed instead? Try to get ready for going to bed early tomorrow night? But I don't wanna, so there.
2.0 and Garcia jumping Mox and Eddie at the top of the show felt like a very random way to set up the Rampage main event (why would Mox and Eddie be opening the show? what were they even gonna talk about?), but I like those guys enough not to mind a little bit of cheap heat while they're still getting settled in.
Darby Allin & Sting vs. 2.0 in a Texas Tornado Tag Match: Very fun! Sting continues to impress for a dude in his fucking sixties, Darby took some hilarious looking bumps (the slam onto the underside of the skateboard and the part where they launched him directly into the fucking concourse roof overhang were my favourites), plenty of chaos with the guys on the sidelines, overall just a messy, chaotic opener with a lot of great energy to start the show with.
Shawn Spears vs. Sammy Guevara: This was a solid match for a feud that's grown pretty stale, but obviously the important takeaway was that Sammy and (former BTE Champion) Pam are engaged, aww! Good for them!
Fun Christian bit in the back, he looks real good with those Impact belts (though he finally retired the extraneous TNA one on Impact last week) and I appreciate the heck out of everyone who calls Don a carny piece of shit.
I don't give a shit about this Dan Lambert guy and his un-PC anti-woke snowflake schtick, however knowingly ironic, is just miserable and exhausting to sit through! I guess they're finally getting back to Lance feuding with the Disneyland Boyfriends now?
Young Bucks (c) vs. Jurassic Express for the AEW World Tag Team Championship: Match of the night, holy shit what a banger! I don't know why I was surprised by that, obviously I like everyone involved, and the Bucks just churn out great matches, but this was easily Jurassic Express' best showing as a tag team all year. SO GOOD. This is the first time I think I've ever really seen Jurassic Express as legitimate options for future tag champs, they absolutely killed it. Still waiting on the Elite to self-destruct so they can't keep overwhelming and winning all their matches through sheer force of numbers.
Nice interview with Britt where we get a proper look at Jamie as her new heater. Looking forward to seeing what her new buff self is capable of!
The loooooooong Big Show/QT segment that happens here would have chafed less if it wasn't right before the lone women's match, completely devoid of any plot or stakes beyond shuffling the top 5 rankings (which is more than usual!). At least they bothered to set up the next two matches for the division before and after (Hayter vs. Velvet in the Britt segment, Jade vs. Kiera in the random Jade bit that followed). The bar to clear is back on the ground.
Random bits with the Elite (Young Bucks cage match at All Out? it's GOTTA be the Lucha Bros. winning this tournament), Team Taz (give me big babyface Brian all damn day), and Andrade (please get a good match out of him PAC). Eh.
Penelope Ford vs. Thunder Rosa: Still a fucking banger. The women continually get crumbs to work with and build whole ass gingerbread mansions out of them. Frustrating!! Also I think Penelope's luggage got lost on the flight to Chicago, because that was NOT her gear, those were just like... clothes, lol.
Brock Anderson calling out Malakai and lol aww, I'm gonna miss that little forty-something-ass-looking kid. What is it about Cody that makes his fellow second-generation nepotism talents throw themselves into hails of gunfire to defend his honour? We STILL haven't seen Austin since Ogogo punched his soul out through his liver months ago!
Whatever, MIRO IS CALLING OUT EDDIE THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL I NEED IT IN MY VEINS, AND they followed it with a fantaaaaaaaastic Mox promo, like my GOD this man is so weird and hypnotic when he's in his groove. So so good.
MJF vs. Chris Jericho, The Five Labors of Jericho: Chapter 5 (No Judas Entrance and No Judas Effect): At least it's fucking over, woof. This was FINE, but I was over it ages ago and the Nick Gage match is the only part of it I particularly cared about. Beyond that, it was just a rehash of MJF's feud with Cody, right up to the big loss for the ostensible good guy after they jumped through all of MJF's tedious hoops in order to get to fight him. I thought that it was originally supposed to be five labours and THEN he gets to fight MJF, presumably at All Out, I wonder if they cut it short? Whatever, at least it gets Jericho out of my hair for a little while.
Obviously, the big story of Rampage this week was CM Punk's return to the ring, which is something I don't really have much to say about? His superstardom fell squarely in the years I was not paying attention to wrestling, all I know is that he's kinda been wrestling's ex-boyfriend that they really loved but parted with on unsatisfying terms and have always kinda wanted to win back even as they knew it was probably never gonna happen because he was doing way better without them. Also the constant hype and rumours of him maybe returning made me sick of him months before any of said rumours were remotely credible! But here we are, and I'd be lying if I said the excitement and emotion of the moment wasn't infectious. Dude cuts a good promo and he apparently bought thousands of people ice cream sandwiches with his own money for the occasion! I guess we'll see if he can still go in the ring after all these years away! Darby trying not to smile up in the rafters as he got called out was very endearing.
Anyway that literally took up nearly half of the entire hour-long show, so the matches that followed were all VERY truncated, but I nevertheless love that they used this night, where they knew TONS of eyes were going to be on them because of the big historic Punk return, to showcase some of their younger and/or greener talent instead of just trotting out the big stars.
Private Party vs. Jurassic Express (AEW World Tag Team Championship Eliminator Tournament Semifinal): No surprise that Jurassic Express took the win here after their fantastic showing against the Bucks on Wednesday. Big surprise when Jungle Boy's ass came out to say hello!!
Jade Cargill vs. Kiera Hogan: This was a straight-up squash match because heaven forbid the women have more than the absolute bare minimum of screen time lol THEY HAD THE MAIN EVENT LAST WEEK, SURELY THAT IS ENOUGH FOR A WHILE, RIGHT? Still, I'm always grateful whenever Jade actually wrestles instead of just runs her mouth (and since she's still so inexperienced, these quick squashes are a good way of showcasing her without exposing her weaknesses), and I'm very happy to see Kiera get such a high profile appearance, even if she didn't get to do much except die. On the one hand, yeah, you could say she went from being a champion over at Impact to being a jobber at AEW, but on the other hand, she's also gone from wrestling in an empty fucking bunker streamed online at Impact to wrestling in front of packed arenas of fifteen thousand people on national television at AEW. Upgrade? Downgrade? I don't know, but I'm happy for her and hope she gets signed!
Jon Moxley vs. Daniel Garcia: The strongest evidence that the CM Punk segment went longer than intended, since there is no WAY this match was originally booked to last all of six minutes, not with how hard they've been pushing Garcia. He tapped out Matt Sydal on Elevation, for god's sake! Still, they made the absolute most of their limited time, and this absolutely slapped. Mox cut another killer promo beforehand, and his entrance with Eddie made me realize how much I desperately want the two of them as heels together??? Loved the finish here, with Mox basically calling his shot beforehand and then just letting it play out while ALSO tying into how Garcia put away Sydal, Mox anticipating the same submission finish and rolling out of it really creatively. I'm curious how the impending Mox heel turn (I feel it in my jellies, it's been coming ever since he lost the IWGP US title to Lance) is going to manifest with them continuing to push the feud with Garcia and 2.0. Maybe he and Eddie turn on Darby and Sting after finally putting the new guys away once and for all? I'm here for it however it goes!
AEW four fucking nights a week now, who needs real life?