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Slammiversary (07.17.2021)
Had a really great day off yesterday only for it to abruptly end in a screaming match with my mom in the van over stupid, long-seething resentments and festering traumas, and now I’m back at work, so. Really just counting the hours to my freedom, here.
Except for the part where I need to make a dentist appointment ASAP, because shit is not right in my mouth. Sigh.
Have a post about Slammiversary, because it was good and I need good things to dwell on to get me through the next eight hours.
Fire N Flava (c) vs. Havok & Rosemary for the Impact Knockouts Tag Team Championships: New champs! Apparently Kiera Hogan is leaving Impact, so that explains why. She’s dating Diamante, I wonder if she’ll end up in AEW? Also, does this mean Havok is officially part of Decay now? Fun stuff, although having the Ultimate X rigging up during the match was very distracting.
Trey Miguel vs. Ace Austin vs. Josh Alexander (c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Petey Williams in an Ultimate X Match for the Impact X Division Championship: This shit was absolutely ridiculous and so much fun. Comedy antics, high flying action, just a big bonkers spectacle all around, loved it. The moment where they’ve got, like, a submission chain of men going all the way from the suspended belt to the mat was so delightful.
Brian Myers & Tenille Dashwood vs. Matt Cardona & Chelsea Green: So nice to have an ACTUAL mixed tag so soon after Road Rager, even if there wasn’t much in the way of intergender action. Looking forward to seeing more from Chelsea, both here and in ROH, she and Cardona are looking like a real indie power couple after his insane showing at GCW Homecoming the other day.
W. Morrissey vs. Eddie Edwards: I don’t really care about this rivalry, but Eddie Edwards is a really easy to root for guy and Morrissey is a large greasy ‘roid monster with a dumb name, so I enjoyed this well enough.
Shera & Madman Fulton vs. FinJuice: Surprise match! Surprise FinJuice! Since I’m still not really ready to go all in on watching NJPW on top of everything else (there are only so many hours in a day and I’ve already got Strong and the 2020 stuff they put on the Roku Channel every week), I’m so happy they’re back, I missed them so much! Happy beers!
Moose vs. Chris Sabin: I really like Sabin from what little I’ve seen, but Moose very much seems like Impact’s big golden boy, so I was both stunned and SO hyped by the ending to this match that I wasn’t even looking forward to! Hell yeah, one more for the good guys!
Violent By Design (c) vs. Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs. No Way & Fallah Bahh vs. The Good Brothers for the Impact World Tag Team Championships: God, what a big messy bitch of a match this was, good shit. Between TJP not being able to make it (I wonder if they tried to make him vaccinate, lol), the conga line for his replacement (who I do not know, but he seems fun!), and the sheer chaos of tag team four ways in general, man alive. VBD are very boring to me (I already have one wrestling cult in my heart), so the GBs getting the belts back is at least an upgrade on that front, and I wonder how it’ll colour their appearances in AEW and NJPW Strong over the next few weeks.
Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs. Thunder Rosa for the Impact Knockouts Championship: ROSA!!!!!!! My biggest pop of the night, I lost my SHIT when she came out, I love her so muuuuuuch and her new bird headgear is sick as fuuuuuuuck. A great match, too, the crowd was fired up, although I’m very bored of Deonna as champ at this point; they’ve kinda backed themselves into a corner with her by having her destroy everyone in the company, though, so I don’t know how they get that belt off her anymore! Give Thunder Rosa all the belts even now that she’s #AllElite, I don’t give a fuck. Viva la mera mera!
Kenny Omega (c) vs. Sami Callihan in a No DQ Match for the Impact World Championship: Jesus Christ, Kenny. I really thought he might drop it here, but he’s proven his deathmatch cred and willingness to play dirty against the guys like Sami or Mox who thrive in these matches, so I guess he really isn’t losing any of these belts until he loses the AEW one! But when will that be? NOT AT ALL OUT I GUESS, FUCK, I'M NOT OVER IT, STUPID REAL LIFE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY STORIES. But he’s so unhinged at this point even before throwing buckets of blood into the mix, SURELY the man needs to rest soon. Whatever, as long as all his defenses stay as varied as they have been, I can’t complain. Jay White showing up afterwards was pretty nuts, especially considering it was apparently supposed to be Andrade originally? Jay’s way more interesting!
Overall, this was the best Impact show I’ve seen yet! Everything they do is still kinda shonky and the roster is getting thinner by the day and they desperately need to get back on the road and leave this warehouse they’ve been filming in during the pandemic, but I dunno, this fucking slapped with only a few dips through the night. Between this and Fyter Fest, what a great couple of weeks of wrestling that was.
I should not order another burrito. But I want one. Hrm.
Except for the part where I need to make a dentist appointment ASAP, because shit is not right in my mouth. Sigh.
Have a post about Slammiversary, because it was good and I need good things to dwell on to get me through the next eight hours.
Fire N Flava (c) vs. Havok & Rosemary for the Impact Knockouts Tag Team Championships: New champs! Apparently Kiera Hogan is leaving Impact, so that explains why. She’s dating Diamante, I wonder if she’ll end up in AEW? Also, does this mean Havok is officially part of Decay now? Fun stuff, although having the Ultimate X rigging up during the match was very distracting.
Trey Miguel vs. Ace Austin vs. Josh Alexander (c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Petey Williams in an Ultimate X Match for the Impact X Division Championship: This shit was absolutely ridiculous and so much fun. Comedy antics, high flying action, just a big bonkers spectacle all around, loved it. The moment where they’ve got, like, a submission chain of men going all the way from the suspended belt to the mat was so delightful.
Brian Myers & Tenille Dashwood vs. Matt Cardona & Chelsea Green: So nice to have an ACTUAL mixed tag so soon after Road Rager, even if there wasn’t much in the way of intergender action. Looking forward to seeing more from Chelsea, both here and in ROH, she and Cardona are looking like a real indie power couple after his insane showing at GCW Homecoming the other day.
W. Morrissey vs. Eddie Edwards: I don’t really care about this rivalry, but Eddie Edwards is a really easy to root for guy and Morrissey is a large greasy ‘roid monster with a dumb name, so I enjoyed this well enough.
Shera & Madman Fulton vs. FinJuice: Surprise match! Surprise FinJuice! Since I’m still not really ready to go all in on watching NJPW on top of everything else (there are only so many hours in a day and I’ve already got Strong and the 2020 stuff they put on the Roku Channel every week), I’m so happy they’re back, I missed them so much! Happy beers!
Moose vs. Chris Sabin: I really like Sabin from what little I’ve seen, but Moose very much seems like Impact’s big golden boy, so I was both stunned and SO hyped by the ending to this match that I wasn’t even looking forward to! Hell yeah, one more for the good guys!
Violent By Design (c) vs. Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs. No Way & Fallah Bahh vs. The Good Brothers for the Impact World Tag Team Championships: God, what a big messy bitch of a match this was, good shit. Between TJP not being able to make it (I wonder if they tried to make him vaccinate, lol), the conga line for his replacement (who I do not know, but he seems fun!), and the sheer chaos of tag team four ways in general, man alive. VBD are very boring to me (I already have one wrestling cult in my heart), so the GBs getting the belts back is at least an upgrade on that front, and I wonder how it’ll colour their appearances in AEW and NJPW Strong over the next few weeks.
Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs. Thunder Rosa for the Impact Knockouts Championship: ROSA!!!!!!! My biggest pop of the night, I lost my SHIT when she came out, I love her so muuuuuuch and her new bird headgear is sick as fuuuuuuuck. A great match, too, the crowd was fired up, although I’m very bored of Deonna as champ at this point; they’ve kinda backed themselves into a corner with her by having her destroy everyone in the company, though, so I don’t know how they get that belt off her anymore! Give Thunder Rosa all the belts even now that she’s #AllElite, I don’t give a fuck. Viva la mera mera!
Kenny Omega (c) vs. Sami Callihan in a No DQ Match for the Impact World Championship: Jesus Christ, Kenny. I really thought he might drop it here, but he’s proven his deathmatch cred and willingness to play dirty against the guys like Sami or Mox who thrive in these matches, so I guess he really isn’t losing any of these belts until he loses the AEW one! But when will that be? NOT AT ALL OUT I GUESS, FUCK, I'M NOT OVER IT, STUPID REAL LIFE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY STORIES. But he’s so unhinged at this point even before throwing buckets of blood into the mix, SURELY the man needs to rest soon. Whatever, as long as all his defenses stay as varied as they have been, I can’t complain. Jay White showing up afterwards was pretty nuts, especially considering it was apparently supposed to be Andrade originally? Jay’s way more interesting!
Overall, this was the best Impact show I’ve seen yet! Everything they do is still kinda shonky and the roster is getting thinner by the day and they desperately need to get back on the road and leave this warehouse they’ve been filming in during the pandemic, but I dunno, this fucking slapped with only a few dips through the night. Between this and Fyter Fest, what a great couple of weeks of wrestling that was.
I should not order another burrito. But I want one. Hrm.