merridia | Spring Season: Weeks 45/46

How the fuck was all that less than two weeks ago?? Society is broken and it's not getting better, but we're all still in it and that's the important part, so stay buckled in, y'all.

Was genuinely uncertain whether I'd be able to update, work has been flat out right through the weekend as they decided to completely revamp the filing system and guess who gets to deal with... all of that. They gave me a henchman to boss around, though, and we finally finished this morning, so I'll take it!

This also means I RPed not at all which really blows and makes me feel bad, but at least I've proved to myself that I still CAN do it when I set my mind to it, so. New shift, new start?

My headphones are all dying at once. I am... displeased.

I lost some weight! I was getting pretty discouraged for a while, I kinda hit a wall back in November and just stayed put for a while even though I thought I was still doing well with the whole moderation thing (barring Christmas and the night I ate all my Hangman Page feelings through Full Gear), but I stuck it out and then suddenly dropped five pounds all at once last week, so I guess I just needed to smash past that floor? Back on track! Excited about the muffin I just remembered I brought to work for later in the day.

Slept even less than usual last night due to my own poor late night decisions (none sleep, I got none sleep), so let's get right to the movies. Just one more day of work after this one and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

FILMS

The Bad Seed (1956): One of the all-time best totally unhinged performances, and the kid holds her own, too. We don't need to talk about the stupid ending! *lance archer voice* everybody dies

The Black Cat (1934): Classic creepy murder and mind games. Bela and Boris both bring it. Put it on, blink, and it's over??

Blind Alley (1939): Just a really tidy little thriller, I love the tangle of relationships that never tries to get in the way of the crime plot and is just happy to sit off to the side, enhancing things a bit. Just ignore all of the SUPER questionable psychiatric mumbo jumbo that makes up... a whole lot of the thing.

The Canterville Ghost (1944): Way more goofy fun than you'd expect from a movie that opens with a father Cask of Amontillado-ing his screaming son.

The Cobweb (1955): Did I seriously watch two hours of drama about drapes? Moreover, did I like it? I'm still not sure.

The Dark Past (1948): Only watched this because I couldn't remember if it or Blind Alley was the one I liked better. It was the other one! Though pre-Bond Lois Maxwell is always welcome in my life.

The Devil-Doll (1936): Killer special effects, Lionel Barrymore in old lady drag, an absolutely bonkers plot, this movie is pretty much perfect aside from a deeply dissatisfying ending. HOW DOES SHE NOT RECOGNIZE HER FATHER, HIS PICTURE HAS BEEN PLASTERED ALL OVER PARIS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE. SHRINK THAT BASTARD.

The French Lieutenant's Woman (1981): Eeeeeeeh. Although ever since I saw it the first time, I've always called it 'The French Leftenant's Whore' in my head, and I wonder if that's universal or just a me thing.

The Go-Between (1971): The bland period drama is a foreign country. They do things differently there.

Housekeeping (1987): This movie is a lot of things all at once, and is at the very least reasonably successful at all of them. Nostalgic coming-of-age drama? Ode to the outsiders? Sad parable about the insidiousness of mental illness? Yeah, sure, it can be all those things! Really liked this. It's a strange one.

It Happened One Night (1934): oh no bugs bunny is hot now

King of the Hill (1993): Endearing, feel-good stuff. Almost suspiciously so by the end? I was totally expecting a big Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge rug pull at the end where he's actually hallucinating as he dies of starvation on the floor, it all just worked out WAY too perfectly. I should ageplot Reggie.

Local Hero (1983): I think I got this a little bit more this time around, but I'm not quite there yet.

Make Way for Tomorrow (1937): This one was a bit of a surprise, this is always held up as one of the big, classic tearjerkers and I am someone who will cry over the stupidest things in movies, and yet... nothing. Not only did I have no desire to shed a tear, I was not even remotely moved by any of it? These people are all monstrously selfish assholes, but also, Bark and Lucy raised 'em, so. You reap what you sow, y'all. This truly did not hit for me in any kind of way like it apparently does to other people. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I've never stopped living with my family or taking care of the ones who used to take care of me?

The Masque of the Red Death (1964): Campy, candy-coloured goodness, even if a story about rich people riding out a pandemic in lavish quarantine while the poors have to go about their lives hits, uh... DIFFERENTLY these days. *lance archer voice* everybody dies

Moulin Rouge (1952): It was alright? Pretty dull, made-up, by-the-numbers biopic stuff? The costumes demanded the big Technicolor treatment, though, and while it's filmed LIKE it's getting it, there's something off about it all, something grimy. Like all the gloss has been rubbed off over the decades. The ending still got to me, though. Also I realized in the middle that it's set closer to 1952 than 1952 is to today, which fucked me up a bit!

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968): Whenever I would watch Leone westerns as a kid* I would pretend I was watching them from inside the world, like a holodeck. They're just so heightened and lived in at once, somehow, I wanted to BE there. And I still really miss my maestro.

*who am I kidding, I absolutely still do this now

The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945): One of those rare adaptations where most of the minor changes from the source material actually end up being upgrades. Sanders sounds like he's the only person in the film being played back at 1.25x speed. Lansbury is such a babe. Wish there was a version without all of the extraneous voiceover; I get why it's there, it does a LOT of heavy lifting to explain what's going on behind Hatfield's blank expressions, but I also think they could stand on their own. Good shit. Also I accidentally watched two Wilde adaptations with random Peter Lawford in them in one day.

The President's Analyst (1967): The kind of movie that manages to start out deeply stupid and only continues to get dumber and dumber for the entire runtime. That sounds bad, but it's a real accomplishment, and I THINK I mean it in a good way! That shit's not easy, you almost always hit a plateau at some point!

Pressure Point (1962): HOW IS THIS EVEN MORE RELEVANT SINCE THE LAST TIME I WATCHED IT. CAN WE STOP WITH THE NAZIS NOW?

The Pumpkin Eater (1964): Not sure what to make of this one. A pretty straightforward portrait of a woman with garbage taste in husbands and no concept of birth control. Really well crafted across the board, but more exhausting than anything else.

Revengeance (2016): I don't think that's a word. Very ugly!

The Seventh Victim (1943): God, this is even more bleak the second time around, knowing that there's no fucking point to ANY of it, all the messy awkwardness and confusing circularity in the mystery and a solution that amounts to a 'what can you do?' shrug. *lance archer voice* everybody dies

Starstruck (1982): I desperately need to learn every single stupid dance in this deeply silly movie, IMMEDIATELY. Absolutely infectious. One to turn up LOUD.

Storm Boy (1976): I feel like 90% of the appeal here lies in pelicans just being really intrinsically fun animals to look at, because it's kind of a snoozer otherwise.

The Underneath (1995): Criss Cross: Fun With Colour Filters Edition! Doesn't bring anything new or special to the table, but stylized enough to stay entertaining. Ending was, uh... something. Probably best not to just ape the original on that part, since it was such an effective gut punch and the performances here are not on the same level, but still, what even.

The Uninvited (1944): Very tasty blend of haunted house action, brisk mystery, and lighthearted family drama. A spooky good time, even if I wasn't paying enough attention at the beginning and didn't realize the leads were brother and sister for... a while. Really impressive effects for the time, too, and employed just sparingly enough.

Village of the Damned (1960): Talk about a movie that hooks in right away, there's absolutely zero fluff here, it gets RIGHT to the weird shit and it's all the better for it. Everybody in it is way too chill about the things that are happening for most of it, though. Probably should have done this as a double feature with The Bad Seed!

When Pigs Fly (1993): Extremely endearing little ghost story. Loved the lo-fi charms of all the practical effects, loved the music, and Alfred Molina could totally get it.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020): I dunno, I enjoyed it well enough! Of course, I wasn't as high on the first one as a lot of people, so maybe the comedown was just less harsh for me? It's a lot less than the sum of its parts, because none of them... fit together particularly well? But I still really liked a LOT of them, which made the whole thing a pretty fun time, idk. Pedro Pascal was operating on a CRAZY heightened level and everything else in the movie had to rise up a mile to meet him, which made an oftentimes very goofy ride out of something that could have been an extremely dour slog, and it largely worked for me? Way too long, though. Still wish I could have seen it on a proper screen, back to staring intently at our active case numbers and WILLING them to go back down.

SHORTS

Burrow (2020): Having neighbours intimidates me too, bun!

The Hardly Boys in Hardly Gold (1995): You have to respect artistic purity. Wegman has a dream, and that dream is dogs with human bodies having adventures with a monotone voiceover and by god, he brings it to life. It's beautiful, really. They're girls, and also dogs! They're hardly boys! Now I gotta go watch some old Sesame Street clips.

How to Kiss (1988): This really spoke to me, as I have definitely had kisses that felt more like body horror.

How to Make Love to a Woman (1995): sorry everyone, sex is bad now

Humongous! (2020): Bleh. I need more than just random gauzy imagery, however nice some of it was, to hang my hat on.

It's Not Just You, Murray! (1964): TEENAGE ANDREA MARTIN!!! and plenty of fun with the camera from baby Scorsese, but mostly TEENAGE ANDREA MARTIN!!!

Out (2020): VERY cute, and every single frame of the dog in his body is the funniest goddamn shit I have ever seen.

Preston Bus Station (2013): I am generally a big proponent of people making music for the sake of it, even if they're not any good at it, but christ that doesn't mean I want to sit and listen to it for any length of time. A tedious bore.

Push Comes to Shove (1991): we are living in a society

The Rabbit Hunt (2017): Weirdly gripping, but also kind of constantly baffling. THAT IS SO MUCH FUCKING SUGAR TO PUT ON CEREAL, WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S LIKE A CARTOON. Also could have done without the shot of a rabbit's intestines getting squeezed out like a tube of toothpaste. Ew.

Santa, the Fascist Years (2008): Much funnier than it really has any right to be.

Sex & Violence (1997): A few laugh-worthy gags buried in amongst a whole lot of very stupid shit.

Skuggdjur (2017): I think watching this with every light in the house on somehow made it creepier. Simple and effective! Human behaviour is weird as hell!

Skinningrove (2013): How Many Times Can This Guy Say Skinningrove While Showing Us His Pictures: The Movie. I think I slipped into a coma about five minutes in.

The Strange Ones (2011): Does a really great job of stringing you along on a journey, I'm just not sure if it's one I wanted to go on in the end? I kinda don't want to see the feature length version, because the ambiguities and doubt at play here are what make it work so well.

Voces del secuestro (2018): Wrenching stuff. The choice of such low-fi, obscured visuals is a hell of one, some of those shots are barely smudges of colour and shadow, giving you nothing to do but listen to the sad, sad words of these people and think about who might (or who probably won't) be listening.

Journée Blanche (2017): So boring, watching it felt like a personal attack. Like the filmmakers painstakingly scrubbed any scrap of anything remotely interesting that might have gotten into a single frame or a line of a dialogue, lest they be unable to weaponize the sheer amount of nothing on display here. Whatever I did, I'm SORRY.

The Wiseman (1991): is this asmr

Your Face (1987): Hypnotic. Plympton peaked hard out of the gate, man.

TELEVISION

AEW Dark 3x01/3x02: It's so weird being caught up! I have to, like... wait for new episodes now? It's kinda nice, but also it feels like I have a void that needs filling. ANYWAY, it's Dark so there's not much in the way of story here, but I'm very invested in seeing how Brandon Cutler/Luchasaurus plays out. I'm ASSUMING Luchasaurus is going to fucking destroy him in spectacular fashion, but... a part of me wants to believe. DRAGONS CAN FLY, BABY. Also, 2021 peaked with Taz excitedly singing along to Tarzan Boy and it's all been downhill from there. I love how that clearly had to have come about from Tony Khan buying the rights to the song from the end of the Brodie tribute show and then realizing 'wait a minute, I'm a billionaire, I can buy the rights to whatever songs I want, HEY JACK I GOT YOU A PRESENT'. Surely Jane can't be THAT much more, can it??

AEW Dynamite 3x01/3x02 - New Year's Smash Nights 1 and 2: Good shit! I really hope JR keeps doing the "it's Wednesday, you know what that means" beat in the intro forever. I'm feeling the stakes on the CD/Kaz stipulations, unsure where that's going since I don't see them beating the Bucks? Wardlow beating Hager is the hardest I've popped in a while since I did NOT expect it, love him, care nothing for Hager, it's easily his biggest win in AEW yet, he did it super clean, AND it let MJF keep playing his weird seemingly legit supportive pal role for the other Inner Circle members, which is so much more interesting than his tendency to just go for the cheap heat wherever possible. He's gonna Cody all y'all boners. I liked the way PAC was always obviously going to beat Kingston (barring shenanigans), since they're just in different leagues athletically, but it was still a great match? God, I have fallen SO hard for Kingston SO quickly. I have VERY odd feelings about Chuck being Miro's young boy (sorry, "BUTLER") for a month, like... I have no objections about anything that happened, it was a solid match with an obvious outcome and should lead to some fun character stuff for Chuck and Orange while we all sit on our hands and wait for Trent for heal (4 MONTHS, FUCK, STOP TEARING HIS TITS PEOPLE), and yet, whenever I think about it, my stomach just twists itself into knots?? I do NOT get it, and honestly think I may have stumbled into some sort of weird trigger I didn't know I had?? THANKS, WRESTLING. Anyway, as funny as the Sammy Hager bit was, I will be very annoyed if anyone other than Santana & Ortiz win the Inner Circle tag match, they deserve SO much better than they've been getting lately. Obviously the Omega/Fenix match was fucking phenomenal, but the Darby/Cage showdown from Night 2 was just as great a main event for my money. Really hope this puts a good solid end to that feud, it feels like Taz has been obsessed with him for fucking ever, and this is such a perfect cap to it; the whole thing started when Darby fucked up the crucifix against Cody and got HIMSELF pinned, ending with him pinning Taz's prize cut of beef with a properly executed one, proving once and for all that he DIDN'T need Taz's help to tell him what he did wrong when he gave him the brushoff is just... mwah. Taz built a little army while Darby became TNT Champion in the meantime, they both thrived from something that started over hurt feelings and it's time to bury it.

Aw geez, that's a large, disjointed wall of text. Should I bother trying to break those up better when I'm rambling to no one? Eh, playing it by ear wins out again. Loving all this Kenny/Bucks drama, even if it's built on all this history that I just don't have any context for. Even I know enough to say that that bait and switch was total bullshit, though, the Good Brothers may have been Bullet Club with them, but they were NEVER part of the Elite. Which is probably the point! Don Callis don't know the difference, Don Callis don't give a shit! But it was very funny, the way they clearly were not allowed to actually SAY the actual name of the faction on air, I kept expecting Excalibur to call them the Ammunition Squad or something, god. Poor Bucks. Danny Limelight was the best part of that match, anyway.

Currently most looking forward to the big Beaver Boys BTE showdown tonight (maybe I'll watch it on my lunch break, actually) and finding out once and for all if Hangman's gonna join the damn Dark Order already. THEY WOULD BOTH BE SO GOOD FOR EACH OTHER BUT I FEAR SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO AWRY.

Impact Wrestling: Hard to Kill: Did I watch an entire pay-per-view for one damn match? Yes, yes I did. NO RAGRETS, THOUGH. Because that match! Not only was it a very good match featuring some very good wrestlers I don't know at all, Kenny came out wearing a fucking Bullet Club shirt*?? I THOUGHT THEY COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY IT. AND THEN THAT POSTER FOR THEIR NEXT PPV? WITH THE OMEGA SYMBOL INSIDE OF THE STAR?? IS THAT SOME GOLDEN LOVERS SHIT? WHAT IS HAPPENING. HOW DEEP IS THIS WHOLE INTER-COMPANY CROSSOVER THING GOING TO GO??? Also, it seems real weird that Don was SO hyped about that ending, this is your promotion, numbnuts! Why are you so happy that your company's champion got obliterated by AEW's??

*a Halloween one for some reason? Kenny "Bi God" Omega indeed.

Anyway, I am possibly on the brink of a VERY dangerous spiral of digging into years worth of older matches for all of these idiots to get the full history. I don't have time to make wrestling my whole life! There are movies to watch! Video games to play! Comics to read! Things to do that aren't just the constant consumption of media! And yet...

It's like l'appel du vide, except the chasm is an NJPW World subscription. Somebody pull me back from the edge.

Marvel Legends 1x01/1x02: A good idea! Little sizzle reel refreshers for people who aren't fucking immersed into the MCU with all of their souls, so they can always jump into the newest thing! Since I am, of course, it mostly just made me want to rewatch the movies, but who's got time for THAT, right?? (shut up) My only issue with these is that they're cut like trailers, so I really kept expecting them to end after two minutes and when they keep on going, it feels... wrong. Much like WandaVision!

Star Trek: Discovery 3x13: See recent DISCOurse post! Which... I have yet to comment on, IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK. I hope I remember what happened, HA. Season four when???

WandaVision 1x01/1x02: FINALLY, SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. Ugh, this was so great. Nails all the sitcom tropes of the era, with genuinely good and funny performances WITHIN that genre, all before it laces in the ominous shit so very well. The choking scene, when it suddenly switches to single camera for the first time, fucked me UP. I wonder if I would have clocked that as Jimmy's voice on the radio if I didn't know in advance that he was in it, though. LET THE THEORYCRAFTING COMMENCE, PUT ME THROUGH THE FUCKING WRINGER, DISNEY.

Spring Season: Weeks 45/46

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