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[21] Reggie Mantle, this is your life!
So I'm thinking I'm dropping out of Darrow. This post was a lot more ???? and searching for advice when I first decided to write it, but then I thought it through while processing three friggin' hours of tires and I think I ended up selling myself on it. At this point, it just seems like the surest way of not continuing to let down my friends on the regular. I'm just in this weird mental place where I love thinking about RP and talking about characters with people and making plans, but when the time comes to actually put the words down, everything around me is suddenly so much more interesting and I can't keep pretending that it's something that's going to clear up. I'm sure I'll come back around to writing as a hobby again, I get the uncontrollable urge to write for a few days about once a month, but then it's just... gone again, which obviously isn't sustainable for RP, so it always just ends up getting wasted. Blah, I don't know. The one thing that's been really stopping me from considering the nuclear option before now is that I really, really love my current roster and character relationships as it is, so when I eventually do feel ready to come back, the idea of apping back up to this point will feel daunting enough to keep me from ever bothering so if I'm gone that means I'm gone forever? But no, that's dumb, I'll come back when I'm ready regardless, I'm just being dumb, never mind.
Ah, fuck. I have to go help Dwayne bring the racks in. TALK TO ME, GUYS, SHOULD THIS BE MY BIG DROP EMAIL EQUIVALENT?
Ah, fuck. I have to go help Dwayne bring the racks in. TALK TO ME, GUYS, SHOULD THIS BE MY BIG DROP EMAIL EQUIVALENT?
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Like, maybe dropping out of the game might be the best thing for you. Or maybe you need time to really sit down and consider where you're at with your characters and play time, and what motivates you most out of the game right now. I think if you're still excited about your characters and about RP relationships and all of that, then you owe it to yourself to give it more than a few hours of thinking before making a decision.
And no matter what you decide, I'm here and understand. I'm sure I speak for most of us.
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Are you thinking of dropping because YOU want to, or because you think it's better for other people?
I mean... the latter, I guess? I certainly don't want to, but I'm having trouble seeing a way around it, just staying around as dead weight that never plays isn't an option and I keep failing at not doing that in the traditional ways. The only real benefit to myself I can think of is that my brief bursts of creativity could then instead go to things where it doesn't matter so much if I then ignore them for a few weeks while I play video games, like original stuff or fic or blog posts or whatever. Which is a minor checkmark in the pro column at best. I just don't know.
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And if you do drop, don't worry about the drive to app back to where you are now - or rather don't make that a deciding factor about anything. If you're dropping because the drive/desire/excitement isn't there, then planning to app back to where you are now is, more likely than not, going to end up causing the same problem. Sometimes cutting the string entirely lets you take a step back and zero in what about who was the best and figure out who you miss the most.
It also allows you the luxury to app someone completely new that might come up, and shake up your drive. Because I've trimmed a pup that I loved, I get to app a pup that excites me AND that I love.
I don't know if that helps, but it's something to think about maybe?
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TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, FRIEND.
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(<3)