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Dynamite (11.03.21)
I have written about half of the one (1) tag that I wanted to do, which is... not enough, but something I suppose. But work has been stupid and all I have had brain for today has been wrestle wrestle, so I shall post those thoughts and then go back to smashing myself against the English language until it's time to go home and eat my leftover papadia from last night.
Kenny Omega vs. Alan Angels: Oh man, this gave me FEELINGS. PRECIOUS FIVE HAS COME FULL CIRCLE. His match with Kenny in a shitty little gym last year because everything was suddenly locked down and most of the roster was stuck in other states was what put him on the map, this random jobber managing to hold his own against one of the tag champs, and it's why Brodie noticed him and brought him into Dark Order and then he lost his identity and got horribly bullied for a while but then the civil war happened and he's finally moved away from the mask and number and now HERE HE IS, FACING KENNY AGAIN AND GOING FOR LONGER THAN SEVEN MINUTES THIS TIME AND KICKING OUT OF A V-TRIGGER MY HEEEEEART. Like, obviously I know this was just to give Kenny an excuse to beat the shit out of the Dark Order member who loves Hangman the most and whose faith never wavered for the big 'cowboy saves his Valentine' hero moment, but there's a nice through-line here that has nothing to do with Hangman, aside from proving that they were kinda always linked. Love how they keep teasing Hangman nailing Kenny with the Buckshot Lariat (a tease that goes all the way back to Revolution 2020) but aren't actually gonna give it to us until Full Gear. Also love that Hangman didn't do the stereotypical 'ooh, gotcher belt' hoisting, just had a little moment with it and gave it right back. LESS THAN TEN DAYS, AAAAAHHHHH
Delightful Malakai promo (there is no other kind) where he talks some more shit about Cody and how even though he'll be barred from ringside during the match tonight, there were more knives in Caesar's back than Marcus' and THAT'S A SURPRISE TOOL THAT WILL HELP US LATER WINK
CM Punk on the mic giving some love to Mox, and yeah, the whole situation is such a tough one to navigate, you want to be supportive and well-wishing without being dismissive of both how much he must be struggling and how hard a decision this has to have been, stepping away in the middle of one of the hottest angles of his career, ahead of a massive PPV fight, with his book just hitting shelves. It sucks! It all sucks, and all the love in the world doesn't change that, but immediately letting the world know WHY he's going on the shelf is ALSO such a brave fuckin' move when he could easily have just claimed injury or something, and he's such a role model to so many people that it's clearly an amazing one that legitimately might lead to more people getting help with their issues since wrestlers typically just kinda suffer in silence until they die! I just hope that there wasn't some really bad, specific incident that led to him going to rehab NOW of all fucking times and it was just him making a call for himself and his wife and new baby, but also it's not my business if there was or not, so! PUNK VS. EDDIE IS STILL GONNA FUCK, AT LEAST.
Miro promo, because he's apparently the one replacing Mox in the tournament, which felt a little weird and cheap to me, at least at first. He just gets to roll up into the semifinals out of NOWHERE? Surely Orange should have just gotten a bye instead? Or have him fight Hobbs again? Or another first round guy? But that would be a pretty anticlimactic way of getting to a PPV match in the former case, and it is specifically an eliminator tournament as far as the latter two go, and Miro IS the highest-ranked guy not otherwise involved in the tournament, AND he and Orange have history (long live Arcade Anarchy, I still miss Kip), so SHRUG. I guess all the men needed for their tournament to instantly become as fascinatingly unpredictable as the women's was some brutal real life upheaval!
Fun little bit of SuperKliq/Jurassic Express scrapping that ends with Christian (he's back from the Impact zone! hooray!) damn near straight up murdering Adam Cole, like goddamn dude, you're supposed to be the good guy in this feud! Love it.
FTR (c) vs. Samuray Del Sol and Aerostar for the AAA World Tag Team Championship: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS RIDICULOUS PLOT IS THE MOST I'VE ENJOYED FTR SINCE THEY ARRIVED. I know Aerostar from the few AAA shows I've seen (that man does not care if he dies!), and I guess the other guy is another recent WWE release? This match ruled, just a ton of fun, high-speed lucha shenanigans launching repeatedly against the two least lucha motherfuckers around who are just intent on rubbing those belts that it's ABSURD that they even have in everyone's faces, I love it. I'm so hyped for their rematch against the Lucha Bros! I haven't given a shit about anything going on with them this much since they got Hangman to turn on the Elite, no lie. Also their new, very incongruous-to-their-characters '80s synthwave theme fucking SLAPS. ALSO, Darby watching the match really added to this week's seeming focus on how interconnected everyone's stories are, nobody is really isolated in their own little plots at the moment, everyone has multiple things going on and they all commingle in a really cool way.
Nyla rolls up on Shida finally getting to celebrate her 50th win, and I hope that injured leg comes into play ahead of their match, because as good as their first two clashes were, it's a bit of an underwhelming quarterfinal matchup. With Deeb out in the first round, I have no clue who to even root for! Ruby??? Just as long as it's not Jade, bleh.
The Inner Circle/Top Team shit somehow keeps managing to get worse! This went on for five years! I'm not even gonna talk about it! Gonna get hyped for Lee Moriarty and Matt Sydal teaming up instead! #taigabloggins
Anna Jay vs. Jamie Hayter (TBS Championship Tournament): Jamie giving FTR a run for their money in the 'best theme of the night' race, god what a banger, she needs to wrestle more just so I can hear it. Also 'cause she's rad as fuck. I quite enjoyed the post-match parallels between this and the opener, with a lone member of Dark Order getting their ass beat by the world champion until the #1 contender swoops in for the rescue. I'd love to see Tay and Hangman interact more, honestly, as these two planets that just orbit the weird cultists they both love and occasionally pass each other by.
Jade promo, sigh. She's gonna change the TBS title to stand for That Bitch Show! Like she has said multiple times now! It wasn't funny the first time! 'CAUSE SHE'S THAT BITCH, GET IT? GET IT? DO YOU GET IT? CATCHPHRASE!!!! I'm so over her! At least there was lots of time for the women this week, and not all buried at the end of the show. A Thunder Rosa run-in! Ruby/Kris and Red Velvet/Bunny promos! CONTENT!
One of the better MJF promos in a while, since it's character-focused instead of just shitting on local sports teams and calling people fat, PLUS we got another effective Sting usage, PLUS the brawling with Darby in the crowd kinda felt like it went on forever while never lessening in intensity? Tentatively looking forward to this match!
Cody Rhodes vs. Andrade El Idolo: Gosh, I hope Andrade's little Ric Flair shoutout was just a moment for his awful father-in-law and not a sign that he'll be showing up now that That episode of Dark Side of the Ring is a little further in the rearview. Anyway, this was fine, if immediately less interesting than both of these men's last outings. The best part was the aftermath where Cody got jumped by FTR of all people, hiding under the ring in a baffling moment that makes sense once you think about it for a hot second. Malakai is friends with Andrade! Andrade has already paid MJF for FTR's services once! CODY IS CAESAR AND THERE ARE KNIVES EVERYWHERE. And then they tease an Arn/Tully old man fight, which would honestly rule if I wouldn't worry that it's ALSO a Flair tease the entire time.
A joy of an in-ring with John Silver (a Dark Order member all alone for the third time of the night) ahead of his match against Adam Cole, and I so respect AEW's commitment to including gags that are gonna make zero sense to people who don't watch various wrestler's vlogs as well. Not enough for it to be a big distraction, just enough to be ridiculous. BUDGE!!!!
Orange Cassidy vs. Miro (World Title Eliminator Tournament Semifinal): Wooooooow, what even. So the guy who, by all accounts, just barely made it to the arena in time because he was SUCH a last-minute replacement is getting a PPV match against Bryan Danielson to determine who's gonna be Hangman's first challenger once he wins the world title. I ASKED FOR MORE UNPREDICTABLE TOURNAMENTS, I SURE GOT MY FUCKIN' MONEY'S WORTH OFF THAT MONKEY'S PAW. This just furthers my belief that Mox was gonna win at Full Gear, which makes me sad, but I will just have to hope Hangman is still champ when he comes back healthy so they can have an even hotter feud then. And in the meantime... wtf does this mean for Full Gear?? Does Bryan take it instead? Or is MIRO, fresh off losing his TNT title, gonna be the guy who hands Danielson his first singles loss? That'd be a hell of a redemption out of fuckin' nowhere, especially since they pretty much had to call this on the fly, but a big mean heel makes more sense as Hangman's first big feud at the tip than Danielson, and why not just have Orange win if Bryan was gonna take it anyway? Surely he's not THAT busy with Matt fucking Hardy. SHIT JUST GOT INTERESTING!!!
But seriously, all the love to Mox. What a badass. <3
Kenny Omega vs. Alan Angels: Oh man, this gave me FEELINGS. PRECIOUS FIVE HAS COME FULL CIRCLE. His match with Kenny in a shitty little gym last year because everything was suddenly locked down and most of the roster was stuck in other states was what put him on the map, this random jobber managing to hold his own against one of the tag champs, and it's why Brodie noticed him and brought him into Dark Order and then he lost his identity and got horribly bullied for a while but then the civil war happened and he's finally moved away from the mask and number and now HERE HE IS, FACING KENNY AGAIN AND GOING FOR LONGER THAN SEVEN MINUTES THIS TIME AND KICKING OUT OF A V-TRIGGER MY HEEEEEART. Like, obviously I know this was just to give Kenny an excuse to beat the shit out of the Dark Order member who loves Hangman the most and whose faith never wavered for the big 'cowboy saves his Valentine' hero moment, but there's a nice through-line here that has nothing to do with Hangman, aside from proving that they were kinda always linked. Love how they keep teasing Hangman nailing Kenny with the Buckshot Lariat (a tease that goes all the way back to Revolution 2020) but aren't actually gonna give it to us until Full Gear. Also love that Hangman didn't do the stereotypical 'ooh, gotcher belt' hoisting, just had a little moment with it and gave it right back. LESS THAN TEN DAYS, AAAAAHHHHH
Delightful Malakai promo (there is no other kind) where he talks some more shit about Cody and how even though he'll be barred from ringside during the match tonight, there were more knives in Caesar's back than Marcus' and THAT'S A SURPRISE TOOL THAT WILL HELP US LATER WINK
CM Punk on the mic giving some love to Mox, and yeah, the whole situation is such a tough one to navigate, you want to be supportive and well-wishing without being dismissive of both how much he must be struggling and how hard a decision this has to have been, stepping away in the middle of one of the hottest angles of his career, ahead of a massive PPV fight, with his book just hitting shelves. It sucks! It all sucks, and all the love in the world doesn't change that, but immediately letting the world know WHY he's going on the shelf is ALSO such a brave fuckin' move when he could easily have just claimed injury or something, and he's such a role model to so many people that it's clearly an amazing one that legitimately might lead to more people getting help with their issues since wrestlers typically just kinda suffer in silence until they die! I just hope that there wasn't some really bad, specific incident that led to him going to rehab NOW of all fucking times and it was just him making a call for himself and his wife and new baby, but also it's not my business if there was or not, so! PUNK VS. EDDIE IS STILL GONNA FUCK, AT LEAST.
Miro promo, because he's apparently the one replacing Mox in the tournament, which felt a little weird and cheap to me, at least at first. He just gets to roll up into the semifinals out of NOWHERE? Surely Orange should have just gotten a bye instead? Or have him fight Hobbs again? Or another first round guy? But that would be a pretty anticlimactic way of getting to a PPV match in the former case, and it is specifically an eliminator tournament as far as the latter two go, and Miro IS the highest-ranked guy not otherwise involved in the tournament, AND he and Orange have history (long live Arcade Anarchy, I still miss Kip), so SHRUG. I guess all the men needed for their tournament to instantly become as fascinatingly unpredictable as the women's was some brutal real life upheaval!
Fun little bit of SuperKliq/Jurassic Express scrapping that ends with Christian (he's back from the Impact zone! hooray!) damn near straight up murdering Adam Cole, like goddamn dude, you're supposed to be the good guy in this feud! Love it.
FTR (c) vs. Samuray Del Sol and Aerostar for the AAA World Tag Team Championship: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS RIDICULOUS PLOT IS THE MOST I'VE ENJOYED FTR SINCE THEY ARRIVED. I know Aerostar from the few AAA shows I've seen (that man does not care if he dies!), and I guess the other guy is another recent WWE release? This match ruled, just a ton of fun, high-speed lucha shenanigans launching repeatedly against the two least lucha motherfuckers around who are just intent on rubbing those belts that it's ABSURD that they even have in everyone's faces, I love it. I'm so hyped for their rematch against the Lucha Bros! I haven't given a shit about anything going on with them this much since they got Hangman to turn on the Elite, no lie. Also their new, very incongruous-to-their-characters '80s synthwave theme fucking SLAPS. ALSO, Darby watching the match really added to this week's seeming focus on how interconnected everyone's stories are, nobody is really isolated in their own little plots at the moment, everyone has multiple things going on and they all commingle in a really cool way.
Nyla rolls up on Shida finally getting to celebrate her 50th win, and I hope that injured leg comes into play ahead of their match, because as good as their first two clashes were, it's a bit of an underwhelming quarterfinal matchup. With Deeb out in the first round, I have no clue who to even root for! Ruby??? Just as long as it's not Jade, bleh.
The Inner Circle/Top Team shit somehow keeps managing to get worse! This went on for five years! I'm not even gonna talk about it! Gonna get hyped for Lee Moriarty and Matt Sydal teaming up instead! #taigabloggins
Anna Jay vs. Jamie Hayter (TBS Championship Tournament): Jamie giving FTR a run for their money in the 'best theme of the night' race, god what a banger, she needs to wrestle more just so I can hear it. Also 'cause she's rad as fuck. I quite enjoyed the post-match parallels between this and the opener, with a lone member of Dark Order getting their ass beat by the world champion until the #1 contender swoops in for the rescue. I'd love to see Tay and Hangman interact more, honestly, as these two planets that just orbit the weird cultists they both love and occasionally pass each other by.
Jade promo, sigh. She's gonna change the TBS title to stand for That Bitch Show! Like she has said multiple times now! It wasn't funny the first time! 'CAUSE SHE'S THAT BITCH, GET IT? GET IT? DO YOU GET IT? CATCHPHRASE!!!! I'm so over her! At least there was lots of time for the women this week, and not all buried at the end of the show. A Thunder Rosa run-in! Ruby/Kris and Red Velvet/Bunny promos! CONTENT!
One of the better MJF promos in a while, since it's character-focused instead of just shitting on local sports teams and calling people fat, PLUS we got another effective Sting usage, PLUS the brawling with Darby in the crowd kinda felt like it went on forever while never lessening in intensity? Tentatively looking forward to this match!
Cody Rhodes vs. Andrade El Idolo: Gosh, I hope Andrade's little Ric Flair shoutout was just a moment for his awful father-in-law and not a sign that he'll be showing up now that That episode of Dark Side of the Ring is a little further in the rearview. Anyway, this was fine, if immediately less interesting than both of these men's last outings. The best part was the aftermath where Cody got jumped by FTR of all people, hiding under the ring in a baffling moment that makes sense once you think about it for a hot second. Malakai is friends with Andrade! Andrade has already paid MJF for FTR's services once! CODY IS CAESAR AND THERE ARE KNIVES EVERYWHERE. And then they tease an Arn/Tully old man fight, which would honestly rule if I wouldn't worry that it's ALSO a Flair tease the entire time.
A joy of an in-ring with John Silver (a Dark Order member all alone for the third time of the night) ahead of his match against Adam Cole, and I so respect AEW's commitment to including gags that are gonna make zero sense to people who don't watch various wrestler's vlogs as well. Not enough for it to be a big distraction, just enough to be ridiculous. BUDGE!!!!
Orange Cassidy vs. Miro (World Title Eliminator Tournament Semifinal): Wooooooow, what even. So the guy who, by all accounts, just barely made it to the arena in time because he was SUCH a last-minute replacement is getting a PPV match against Bryan Danielson to determine who's gonna be Hangman's first challenger once he wins the world title. I ASKED FOR MORE UNPREDICTABLE TOURNAMENTS, I SURE GOT MY FUCKIN' MONEY'S WORTH OFF THAT MONKEY'S PAW. This just furthers my belief that Mox was gonna win at Full Gear, which makes me sad, but I will just have to hope Hangman is still champ when he comes back healthy so they can have an even hotter feud then. And in the meantime... wtf does this mean for Full Gear?? Does Bryan take it instead? Or is MIRO, fresh off losing his TNT title, gonna be the guy who hands Danielson his first singles loss? That'd be a hell of a redemption out of fuckin' nowhere, especially since they pretty much had to call this on the fly, but a big mean heel makes more sense as Hangman's first big feud at the tip than Danielson, and why not just have Orange win if Bryan was gonna take it anyway? Surely he's not THAT busy with Matt fucking Hardy. SHIT JUST GOT INTERESTING!!!
But seriously, all the love to Mox. What a badass. <3