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Update, update, who's got the update?
Cousin is moving out tomorrow, so I'll be bouncing back to my aunts' place until this is over. There have been a million and one things I could be talking about here, covering a variety of crazy shit over the last few weeks, but it's after midnight and all I really have the energy for on that front is to say that I really just want to go home.
<3
Anyway, I'm really just posting because I saw X-Men: ('Age of' would go here if Avengers and Transformers hadn't beaten us to it) Apocalypse.
I... liked it? I don't think it deserves the critical drubbing it's getting, but I do understand it. After all the great thematic work DoFP did, this one ended up feeling like a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Fun superhero romp, but that's about it. Which makes it difficult to talk about, but... I liked it.
The Good:
All the terrible 80s hair.
The baby mutants! Sophie Turner was great as a character I tend to not care about all that much, Alexandra Shipp was WONDERFUL FINALLY WE HAVE A GOOD STORM WHY DID SHE SPEND MOST OF THE FINAL FIGHT JUST PEEKING FROM OUT SOME ROCKS UGH, Kurt was adorbs, and Cyclops somehow managed to have even LESS personality than he did in the early movies which seems like the most impressive accomplishment of all, kudos to whoever that guy was.
As boring as Cyclops was and as predictable as the whole sequence was, it was nice to see a proper mutant origin story again. We haven't really had one since Rogue in the first movie, have we?
lol at them just completely saying fuck the timeline and doing whatever they want with whatever characters, who gives a shit anymore
The obligatory ridiculous show-stopping Quicksilver setpiece.
Random Warren/Betsy was about the LAST thing I ever would have expected out of this movie, but they're a pairing I've always been soft on.
Astral plane whompings! Could have done more with it (GIVE ME RIDICULOUS SPECTRAL WEAPONS AND ARMOUR), but it was fun.
The costumes in the end! The dorky flight suits were disappointing in the moment, but it all worked out in the end, ugh Mystique's was so wonderful.
Cleaning up the questionable family tree stuff, like finally establishing Alex as the (waaaaaaaaay) older brother (briefly, lol) and addressing the Quicksilver/Magneto situation. Although this just made them not addressing Nightcrawler's parentage stick out that much more.
That moment on the plane where Mystique finally gives up and just accepts being mother duckling to the baby mutants. Cute.
Psylocke's psychic lariat. Takes a lot to surprise me in one of these movies, wish they had more fun with powers like this. (i miss you, blink)
The swooshy X-Men tunnel opening credits EXCEPT THROUGH TIME~~~~~~
The Bad:
How the hell do you make Psylocke's bathing suit costume look even WORSE? It was like there was some mix-up with the porn parody being shot on the next set over and everyone just went along with it. Somewhere, a very hardworking actress is wearing a totally badass ninja suit before she gets railed in all holes. All the other Horsemen looked SO GOOD.
Except Archangel's stupid haircut, haha, what the shit was that? Like he saw how badass Storm looked and tried for that, but just gave himself the haircut from the Shaun the Sheep Movie.
Lots of the first half dragged, idk.
Kinda disappointed that Wolverine just went and got himself Weapon X'd again after the way the last one ended? Feels like a lot of missed opportunities there. Although the Barry Windsor-Smith homage was SO GOOD, that with Jackman nearly done with the franchise, it might have been worth it.
No mall montage.
Maybe it's just me, but dramatically destroying Auschwitz in a superhero movie struck me as... uncool? To put it mildly? Maybe Hydra!Cap is just making me squirmy.
Really though, I'm at a point where I'm pretty much done with destruction porn in these movies in general. I get numb to it so quickly and then I get pissed off that I'm numb to it and just. Bleh. I cared so much more about the world MAYBE getting future fucked in DoFP than it getting completely wrecked in this one. Compare to Civil War, which fucked up like two occupied buildings total and made the consequences of both strongly felt throughout the film.
Why would you bury Oscar Isaac under all of that makeup. Why.
Shame that the (pretty funny) dig at X3 ended up applying to this film, too.
The Weird:
16 fucking years and we're still doing this WHY DOES EVERY STRIKING BIT OF COMIC BOOK HAIR NEED A FUCKING ORIGIN?????
Jean walking on air at the end made me wonder if they've given up on ever giving us a proper Shadowcat, that's straight out her playbook, yo.
Why did we never get to see Storm and Psylocke's giant doom statues? Was that one effects shot too many?
What a weird point in Magneto's history to insert Magda and Anya (sorry, Nina). And for him to then make the hero turn after all that? It's an interesting choice.
Did they not rebuild Cerebro? Or is it a dual-purpose Danger Room? Maybe they finally learned their lesson after it fucked everything up in like 5 out of 6 movies.
Still no explanation for why Val Cooper has been using the name of a Scottish doctor for 20 years. You'd think they'd have addressed that by now.
Anyway, I should try to get some sleep. Bring on the 90s, I want X-23 to come with exactly 84 pouches and exactly zero visible feet, bye~~~
<3
Anyway, I'm really just posting because I saw X-Men: ('Age of' would go here if Avengers and Transformers hadn't beaten us to it) Apocalypse.
I... liked it? I don't think it deserves the critical drubbing it's getting, but I do understand it. After all the great thematic work DoFP did, this one ended up feeling like a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Fun superhero romp, but that's about it. Which makes it difficult to talk about, but... I liked it.
The Good:
All the terrible 80s hair.
The baby mutants! Sophie Turner was great as a character I tend to not care about all that much, Alexandra Shipp was WONDERFUL FINALLY WE HAVE A GOOD STORM WHY DID SHE SPEND MOST OF THE FINAL FIGHT JUST PEEKING FROM OUT SOME ROCKS UGH, Kurt was adorbs, and Cyclops somehow managed to have even LESS personality than he did in the early movies which seems like the most impressive accomplishment of all, kudos to whoever that guy was.
As boring as Cyclops was and as predictable as the whole sequence was, it was nice to see a proper mutant origin story again. We haven't really had one since Rogue in the first movie, have we?
lol at them just completely saying fuck the timeline and doing whatever they want with whatever characters, who gives a shit anymore
The obligatory ridiculous show-stopping Quicksilver setpiece.
Random Warren/Betsy was about the LAST thing I ever would have expected out of this movie, but they're a pairing I've always been soft on.
Astral plane whompings! Could have done more with it (GIVE ME RIDICULOUS SPECTRAL WEAPONS AND ARMOUR), but it was fun.
The costumes in the end! The dorky flight suits were disappointing in the moment, but it all worked out in the end, ugh Mystique's was so wonderful.
Cleaning up the questionable family tree stuff, like finally establishing Alex as the (waaaaaaaaay) older brother (briefly, lol) and addressing the Quicksilver/Magneto situation. Although this just made them not addressing Nightcrawler's parentage stick out that much more.
That moment on the plane where Mystique finally gives up and just accepts being mother duckling to the baby mutants. Cute.
Psylocke's psychic lariat. Takes a lot to surprise me in one of these movies, wish they had more fun with powers like this. (i miss you, blink)
The swooshy X-Men tunnel opening credits EXCEPT THROUGH TIME~~~~~~
The Bad:
How the hell do you make Psylocke's bathing suit costume look even WORSE? It was like there was some mix-up with the porn parody being shot on the next set over and everyone just went along with it. Somewhere, a very hardworking actress is wearing a totally badass ninja suit before she gets railed in all holes. All the other Horsemen looked SO GOOD.
Except Archangel's stupid haircut, haha, what the shit was that? Like he saw how badass Storm looked and tried for that, but just gave himself the haircut from the Shaun the Sheep Movie.
Lots of the first half dragged, idk.
Kinda disappointed that Wolverine just went and got himself Weapon X'd again after the way the last one ended? Feels like a lot of missed opportunities there. Although the Barry Windsor-Smith homage was SO GOOD, that with Jackman nearly done with the franchise, it might have been worth it.
No mall montage.
Maybe it's just me, but dramatically destroying Auschwitz in a superhero movie struck me as... uncool? To put it mildly? Maybe Hydra!Cap is just making me squirmy.
Really though, I'm at a point where I'm pretty much done with destruction porn in these movies in general. I get numb to it so quickly and then I get pissed off that I'm numb to it and just. Bleh. I cared so much more about the world MAYBE getting future fucked in DoFP than it getting completely wrecked in this one. Compare to Civil War, which fucked up like two occupied buildings total and made the consequences of both strongly felt throughout the film.
Why would you bury Oscar Isaac under all of that makeup. Why.
Shame that the (pretty funny) dig at X3 ended up applying to this film, too.
The Weird:
16 fucking years and we're still doing this WHY DOES EVERY STRIKING BIT OF COMIC BOOK HAIR NEED A FUCKING ORIGIN?????
Jean walking on air at the end made me wonder if they've given up on ever giving us a proper Shadowcat, that's straight out her playbook, yo.
Why did we never get to see Storm and Psylocke's giant doom statues? Was that one effects shot too many?
What a weird point in Magneto's history to insert Magda and Anya (sorry, Nina). And for him to then make the hero turn after all that? It's an interesting choice.
Did they not rebuild Cerebro? Or is it a dual-purpose Danger Room? Maybe they finally learned their lesson after it fucked everything up in like 5 out of 6 movies.
Still no explanation for why Val Cooper has been using the name of a Scottish doctor for 20 years. You'd think they'd have addressed that by now.
Anyway, I should try to get some sleep. Bring on the 90s, I want X-23 to come with exactly 84 pouches and exactly zero visible feet, bye~~~
no subject
Also needs 500% more Jubilee.
no subject
also they fucking shot a mall montage and then cut it, there was too much movie for this movie, at this point they need to MCU??? I can't believe they went to the mall and then didn't do it, also wasn't it weird how they set up 'this is the kid squad' and then are like 'haha just kidding jubilee you're cut'
I do like that the throughline of these is still 'make good choices' like here it is with Magneto getting talked down, but they needed to ramp down the destruction, because it's like... MAGNETO: [kills probably hundreds of thousands of people at least] MOVIE: yeah but he made an X so he's okay now, no need to feel bad about all those people
psylocke: so bad. SUCH AN AWFUL COSTUME and her only role was to stand about having no lines WEARING THE BAD COSTUME
so glad to finally have a good Storm, so sad to see her so underused but no one had any room for anything. 'Why is Jean standing around? OH RIGHT I guess she's afraid of her powers? Because they mentioned that one time which is all they had time for.'
Shame that the (pretty funny) dig at X3 ended up applying to this film, too.
lmao right, I was like 'nice self-burn guys'
Nightcrawler: u r adorbs
is "YOU CAN FIRE YOUR ARROWS FROM THE TOWER OF BABEL BUT YOU MAY NEVER STRIKE GOD" from the comics or, like... the bible, or what, because it is the most baller line and probably my favourite thing (what a weird sequence to be 'oh no' about, like... Apocalypse just solved nuclear proliferation, that's... good??? I understand he's doing it to clear the way for mutant supremacy/wiping folks out MUTANT-STYLE but it's still like... a good)
no subject
I REALLY LIKED IT, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. Thank you for pointing out the opening credits, I forgot to add that in my post. They were so badass.
Why did we never get to see Storm and Psylocke's giant doom statues? Was that one effects shot too many? WONDERING THIS CONSTANTLY.
I honestly thought the dig was at itself, trying to be funny in the same way 22 Jump Street made of sequels, but everyone else seems to think otherwise. XD
anyway i'm glad you've seen it and we had a similar response :D
no subject
YOU SHOULD BRING US STORM, tho.
Okay. /butts out.
no subject
It's actually from a legend about Nimrod, the hunter! MIXING AND MATCHING THEIR BIBLICAL X-MEN VILLAINS
no subject